SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

It is LONELY

There I said it

I don’t know what the answer is

But it is LONELY

You have been heard.

It's been 4 years for me since wh abandoned me for secret second life of who knows what.
And I can say that it was devestating. But it is possible to heal and grow and find people who are good and kind to spend quality time with. I wish you peace, companionship and happiness this coming year. Sorry it feels lonely now and hope that changes soon for you.

You have been heard.

It's been 4 years for me since wh abandoned me for secret second life of who knows what.
And I can say that it was devestating. But it is possible to heal and grow and find people who are good and kind to spend quality time with. I wish you peace, companionship and happiness this coming year. Sorry it feels lonely now and hope that changes soon for you.

Ps the people on here have been really supportive and kind and helped me through many a lonely time.

I don't feel lonely, but rarely ever have. I can talk to my kids, the cashier at the shop, or anywhere. But, I'm an introvert, if that makes a difference to you.

I have been very lonely, since my am dissolved as well at times. But I’ve also grown accustomed to being with myself and I now enjoy it quite a lot. I also realized that this kind of loneliness is not nearly as bad as the loneliness I felt in my marriage during my husbands affair that was a different and far worse type of loneliness.

Hang in there and know that it gets better. I did take to saying yes to every offer made to me and I pretty much still do that. It keeps me busy, but it keeps me trying new things, and it helps to alleviate some of the boredom and loneliness, especially during those times when I don’t actually want to go do some thing. It kind of just makes me go out there and interact and I always feel better after I have.

You’ve been heard.((hugs))

What options do you have for social networking?

As you can tell from my username, I totally understand the feeling.

It does get better - at first, like everyone, I had to accept that the relationship I thought I had was a figment of my imagination, fueled by fraudulent misrepresentations from my WH. Once I reached acceptance there were times when I missed the days prior to the A with my WH - when things seemed real and genuine - when our relationship had so much promise. But now,over 5 years out, I do not mourn any of it. It doesn't hurt to think how much of my time was wasted on all of that - I do get mad from time to time that all that time was stolen from me - but in all honestly I don't think about it much at all now.

The answer, unfortunately, is TIME.

You will get there.

Thank you for all these replies
It helped me to feel… less lonely!

I’m really sorry you’re experiencing this. My husband and I are still together so I don’t want to pretend that I fully understand, but I will say that working through betrayal has come with some of the most profoundly lonely feelings I’ve ever experienced. Hugs to you. Two things I’ve done that have been somewhat successful for me in lonely times is being in nature in any way, shape, or form, or doing something with my hands—a jigsaw puzzle, house project, craft project, whatever.

Yeah, I get the loneliness. I'm 5 years post Dday 2 and 3 years single, after a failed dating relationship. Early on, I used to get hit with waves of loneliness, but I found that if I fought it, it was worse. So I learned to turn into them, realizing that I was not lonely, but merely experiencing the temporary feeling of loneliness, which would pass. Usually I felt better in the morning after a good sleep.

For me, although I occasionally feel loneliness, it has largely been replaced with aloneness, which is s state I am in. I quite enjoy the peace and tranquility of solitude. I still do things socially, but on my own, not looking for a partner. As well, I have a pretty demanding career which drains my social/emotional battery by the end of the day, so I look forward to being alone.

My recommendation is to chase excellence. Make a list of things you've wanted to do, classes, meetups, hobbies goals, and do them. Go through your local event guide a d pick one event each week and go to it. I do dance lessons a couple times a week and really enjoy it. There are probably some great singles clubs that are not designed for people looking for relationships as well. These can be great low stress options.

I recently heard of a men's group that volunteers on small community projects as a way of bonding socially. I'm going to check that out this spring. Anyhow, keep your chin up. Hoping for good things for you.

Thanks everyone

Maybe they should have a dating area on the forum lol

It gets easier. Finding hobbies to keep you busy. Friends help. Eventually you might find a way to get out and start dating again.

I get rushes of loneliness as well. Healing is always done in waves. One thing that helps me is to think, I don't want to be alone but I'd rather be alone than settle for someone who disrespects me. When I start to miss my WH or anyone that has betrayed me I try to repeat that in my head. The pain I felt from the betrayal is worse than the pain I feel from loneliness. Also getting a pet truly helps too. My cat brings me a lot of sense of companionship and joy. :)

Aww yoga..makes me want to get a pet.

I have enjoyed travelling to hostels in the US so I would not be alone. I also enjoyed a women's group and volunteering.

But I can empathize with people who are feeling lonely. That is a valid reason people commit to marriage...

Wishing everyone who is feeling lonely many positive and healthy relationships and experiences 💜

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way now. I do as well. I can enjoy my own company quite a bit, but going from sharing my life with someone to being alone.... it's a gut punch. I know it will get better, but it's so hard.

What you say is true. Everyday is much the same, and I don’t see a change on the horizon. No clue how to fix this.