Newest Member: Hurtandbeyond

leafields

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

Twin boys on the way

My DS and DIL are pregnant with grandson #3. It was time for one of the ultrasounds, and found out that twins are on the way.

DIL has twins on her side, but we don't. They're identical, so one egg....

I'm within walking distance of their home, and am so glad to be involved in my grandchildren's lives. Don't worry, I'm not over there every day. Just available if they need me.

ETA: Dragn, have any tips or tricks for me?

11 comments posted: Saturday, April 20th, 2024

3 Year Antiversary of Dday2, Decision to D

Friday was the 3-year mark of when XWH confessed to his latest blunder with inappropriate behavior with a female. I was done and told him that I wanted a D. And about 4.5 years from dday1.

This year, I have felt like I am healing and am going to be ok. The only lingering issue is being hyperalert in the car. Catch something out of the corner of my eye or somebody isn't slowing for the light, and I sometimes jump in my seat.

I haven't tried dating yet because I'm enjoying going where I want and doing what I want. I'm going to different local places and am liking that I don't have to deal with a crabby man being a jerk.

Years 1-3 were so pain-filled that I didn't think I'd ever make it through. This past year has been the best year I've had in a very long time.

If you're starting your journey, just hang in there and keep working on you. It does get better.

How did I make it? Mindfulness and meditation were game changers. Also important was taking on the BASGU mindset. That's Bad Ass Sparkling Unicorn Goddess. (Thanks, Chaos) Find something that makes you feel your best, most bad assault self - and wear it.

6 comments posted: Sunday, August 28th, 2022

Not Looking For a New Relationship

My SIL brought up the topic that I should start dating. I said that I would consider dating if future BF was an enhancement to my life and didn't interfere with my relationship with my kids and grandkids.

My new beginning is with me and my wants and needs because I am worth it. So thankful for the SI peeps that helped me get to this place.

Your new beginning doesn't need to involve another person. My advice? Don't jump into another relationship too soon.

7 comments posted: Monday, May 23rd, 2022

Engine started on the karma bus

I wasn't painshopping.... Oldest DS came over to vent. XH showed up Labor Day weekend with no warning, schmoopie in tow. (XH now lives in another state, 9 hours away and is engaged.)

Schmoopie had a dream that he was cheating on her, and woke up screaming at him.

She had a dream that XH was a woman, so kept checking his "package" to make sure he was a he.

According to DS, XH was an emotional vampire and drained the life blood from DS.

4 comments posted: Monday, September 13th, 2021

XH moving 9 hours away

Well, it's been an interesting weekend for my adult kids.

XH is moving to another state and will be 9 hours away. He's leaving on Monday. Last weekend, XH didn't give boys much notice and expected them to come help him pack. They were pissed.

SIL had Father's Day bbq on Saturday. He brought his new GF that he's moving in with, even though SIL and my boys said no, it's too soon. XH brought her anyway. Underscored how selfish he really is.

He's leaving in the morning, and I'm glad. I am sad because my oldest said that when XH is in an accident or is really ill, he'll have to go 9 hours to help out. That piece of it makes me sad.

I'm glad because now I won't be anxious about running into him in town. I already knew he would leave me to tell everybody about the divorce anyway.

How did I find out he was moving? Epic, really. I went to the coffee shop we've gone to for years. XH goes every day, so and I go 1-2 times per month. The barista says, "Hey! I hear you're moving soon." I said that I wasn't and gave her the real story.

Yes, XH is a covert narc & this is typical. Let people assume things by not telling the entire truth.

The important things are the kids see I'm working on healing and tying to move forward in a healthy way, and I'm not going to abandon them. As I saw mentioned on another thread, the size of his world is the circumference of his penis.

So glad to be out of infidelity.

9 comments posted: Sunday, June 20th, 2021

Torn Asunder

Has anybody read Torn Asunder and the workbook? How did you do with it - helpful/not helpful?

I started reading, but the first story is by the OW & I triggered badly. Don't know if I should continue or not.

Thanks!

0 comment posted: Tuesday, July 17th, 2018

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