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Newest Member: M0771

New Beginnings :
I guess it's safe to update

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 Justsomeguy (original poster member #65583) posted at 2:41 PM on Thursday, April 13th, 2023

Well, some developments. Even though she kissed me, I got the "I'm just not ready" text. Looks like her rational mind prevailed, which is good. So hopefully back to friends, at least for now.

More importantly, I bit the bullet and ordered my appliances. Had to dip into my savings a bit, but I can begin to rebuilt my account this summer with my contract work. Kitchen is almost done!

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:55 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced 20

posts: 1831   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8786720
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 Justsomeguy (original poster member #65583) posted at 12:23 AM on Wednesday, April 19th, 2023

Well, I'll keep posting on the off chance this thread gets a read. Countertoos arrive tomorrow and appliances on Saturday. Very excited about cooking again.

Still texting with the woman I am interested in, and managed to have some phone conversations, which were really nice. I think we are going to grab a bite and a walk this weekend if all works out. Slowly getting to know each other. So good things I guess...

[This message edited by Justsomeguy at 2:21 AM, Thursday, April 20th]

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:55 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced 20

posts: 1831   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8787445
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 3:04 AM on Wednesday, April 19th, 2023

Glad things are going well for you. What are you going to cook first to christen the new kitchen?

I hope the weather is good so you can enjoy your walk.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3541   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8787459
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 1:36 PM on Thursday, April 20th, 2023

Absolutely keep your profile up. You’ve made no promises to anyone, and you want to go slow. Take your time, go on dates with different women, and just have fun.

Yay for new appliances!

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4519   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8787641
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 1:51 PM on Thursday, April 20th, 2023

Duplicate post

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 1:52 PM, Thursday, April 20th]

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4519   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8787645
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 7:33 PM on Friday, April 21st, 2023

New appliances !!!
So excited for you!!
What do you like to cook?

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1673   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8787962
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 6:15 AM on Saturday, April 22nd, 2023

Looking for an update after your work this weekend.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3541   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8788063
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1345Marine ( member #71646) posted at 8:30 AM on Sunday, April 23rd, 2023

Man, this is encouraging to read through. In the midst of so much pain and turmoil in my life and feeling like there's no hope no matter what path I go down, reading your updates is like a cool drink on a hot day. The way you describe the peace of sitting beside the fire, out of the storm of a troubled marriage haunted by infidelity, man it gives me a moment of peace just reading it. Thank you for the updates. I'm so happy you're finding hope and peace after divorce. So so encouraging.

posts: 104   ·   registered: Sep. 22nd, 2019   ·   location: Eastern US
id 8788172
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FindingaWayHome ( member #78829) posted at 8:46 AM on Sunday, April 23rd, 2023

Hi JSG,

I'm glad to hear that life has turned a corner and is moving in a healthy direction.
I hope that you are still slowly moving forward in your relationship with Just not ready girl.
Regards,
FAWH.

posts: 131   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2021
id 8788173
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 Justsomeguy (original poster member #65583) posted at 9:13 PM on Sunday, April 23rd, 2023

Well,I'm currently installing the appliances that arrived yesterday. I cantvwait to start cooking real meals again. I ghink my kids are more excited than me, as they miss my home cooking.

Are for my romantic life, it just heated up significantly this weekend. Funny thing,I feel good about it, so I'm taking it as an indication I am ready. Hell, it's been over 5 years, so if not now, when?

I took her out to dinner at this little Italian restaurant I know, that makes fresh pasta. She loved it as she has never had fresh pasta before. Afterwards we went dancing and then a stroll through downtown. It was just amazing to be with someone again. All during the night we talked and flirted. I felt things I haven't felt in years, so regardless of what happens, I'm going to enjoy the moment.

Thanks for listening everyone!

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:55 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced 20

posts: 1831   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8788217
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 12:39 AM on Monday, April 24th, 2023

Enjoy, JSG! Keep us posted.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3541   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8788229
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 1:39 PM on Monday, April 24th, 2023

Ooooooh, I love this update! The possibilities, healing properly, taking your time, and just feeling GOOD again! Go JSG!

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4519   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8788280
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 Justsomeguy (original poster member #65583) posted at 2:52 PM on Thursday, April 27th, 2023

Okay, I feel like there's two plot lines at play here. First the kitchen.just hooked up the dishwasher and running a test load. I find myself just standing in my new kitchen for no reason other than to look at it.

The other plot is the romantic one. Things are really heating up as we explore our feelings for each other. We text good mornings every day and have a phone conversation every night. She even brought me a surprise package and left it at my door just to say she was thinking of me.

Because of her co-parenting schedule, we can only really spend time together a couple times a month, but that is forcing us to really get to know each other. I think I'm going to buy two bottles of wine and drop one at her doorstep on Friday, so we can have a virtual date after her daughter goes to bed.

She brought up the fact that we are both givers and how being with another person who was kind was very refreshing for her. Anyway, I'm just living in the moment and no matter where this goes, one thing has need confirmed for me, that I CAN still feel things. My EXWW did not perminantly extinguish my capacity to love.

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:55 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced 20

posts: 1831   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8788678
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BluerThanBlue ( member #74855) posted at 3:18 PM on Thursday, April 27th, 2023

OK... I giggled like a teenage school girl at your last post! Leaving surprise gifts for each other at your doorsteps? So friggin' cute!!!

BW, 40s

Divorced WH in 2015; now happily remarried

I edit my comments a lot for spelling, grammar, typos, etc.

posts: 2002   ·   registered: Jul. 13th, 2020
id 8788681
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 11:07 PM on Thursday, April 27th, 2023

What an awesome update! I can just imagine you standing with your arms crossed in front of you, you leaning over & propping yourself on the counter, just to listen to the dishwasher run. I guess that is projection because it's what I'd do.

Good idea on the virtual glass (or two) of wine. I play a game on my tablet with a bunch of folks in our group that are all over the place. We'll sometimes have a glass of wine or other beverage of choice during the evening.

I hope you're enjoying yourself, JSG. You deserve it.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3541   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8788751
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crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 11:10 PM on Thursday, April 27th, 2023

I loved reading these latest updates. So happy for you Justsomeguy you deserve to feel good and feel these amazing feelings again.

fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorcing

posts: 8827   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8788754
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 3:23 AM on Friday, April 28th, 2023

JSG, you are giving me hope! I’ve been asking myself the past couple of days if I’ll ever be able to feel anything or open myself up again. I was thinking the answer is no… until I read your last post. You and I were in similar head spaces for a while. I’m thrilled to see you on the other side, FEELING again. Yay! Regardless of what happens here, you are going to be just fine.

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4519   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8788776
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 Justsomeguy (original poster member #65583) posted at 8:00 PM on Saturday, April 29th, 2023

Well, even though we had the intention of taking it slow, things have begun to heat up significantly. She said she finds me attractive and is very drawn to me, as I am to her. This has been a real balm to the self image my EXWW drilled into me during our M. It's nice to know I'm desirable and not some thing my EXWW cast aside. So no matter where this goes, I'm living in the moment and enjoying each one of them.

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:55 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced 20

posts: 1831   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8788998
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 10:35 PM on Saturday, April 29th, 2023

Enjoy your moment by moment living, JSG. So happy for you.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3541   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8789013
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 Justsomeguy (original poster member #65583) posted at 3:40 AM on Sunday, May 14th, 2023

Well, I guess I should update. We are dating. She is very much into me as I am into her, so all seems to be good. We text every

Morning and have a chat every evening for a bit. It's nice. We don't get to see each other much at this stage, but I'm sure after sufficient time has passed, she'll introduce me to her daughter. No hurry though, as I want what's best for her daughter.

I haven't experienced any of the panic attacks and feel very relaxed, though there is a part of me that is cautious. Been burned too many times I guess. One day at a time.

Feeling happiness again is quite foreign to me. I'm a bit suspicious of it. Thank you EXWW! The gift that keeps on giving...

[This message edited by Justsomeguy at 3:41 AM, Sunday, May 14th]

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:55 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced 20

posts: 1831   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8790832
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