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Newest Member: Elise1

New Beginnings :
I guess it's safe to update

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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 4:19 AM on Sunday, May 14th, 2023

Glad you're doing well, JSG. I'm so happy for you and enjoy reading your updates.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3460   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8790834
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 Justsomeguy (original poster member #65583) posted at 12:54 AM on Tuesday, May 23rd, 2023

Kitchen is in and I'm cooking again. It feels great to be able to make proper meals again.

And speaking of cooking again, the dating is going well. I'm really enjoying this phase of my life. It seems that my GF has reaped the benefit of my having done the work on myself. One of the major factors is my being emotionally literate and mature, something that I have really grown with.

One thing that I appreciate about her(actually two) is her ability to be present in the moment and to bring peace into my life. Speaking of being present, this has allowed a part of me to emerge that has been hidden. I am a deeply passionate man and spent 27 years with a dispassionate woman, so I was never fully allowed to be me. Well now I am so is she. Well, not to get into detail, it is very satifying, in a rip-the-fabric-of-space/time sorta way. Yeah, gotta spring in my step and a song in my heart.

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:55 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced 20

posts: 1824   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8792104
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 5:23 AM on Tuesday, May 23rd, 2023

So happy for you, JSG. Great update showing you can come through the other side and be happy.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3460   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8792127
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 6:21 PM on Tuesday, May 23rd, 2023

"I haven't experienced any of the panic attacks and feel very relaxed, though there is a part of me that is cautious. Been burned too many times I guess. One day at a time.

Feeling happiness again is quite foreign to me. I'm a bit suspicious of it. Thank you EXWW! The gift that keeps on giving..."

I feel every word of this. I understand 100%. Amazing how feeling HAPPINESS is such a foreign thing. It really puts in perspective just how low the infidelity shit sandwich drags us. I have recently begun to feel happiness and hope, and I am mentally checking myself, so I am not blindsided when the rug is pulled out. WTH. Like you, we all must work on living in the moment.

I am thrilled to hear that things are progressing in a healthy way with your GF (GF!!!!Eeeekkk so happy for you!!!). Day by day, and just enjoy every moment. Taking the time to yourself that you did has most certainly benefitted this new relationship. Keep doing what you’re doing, JSG. There are folks here whose stories have spoken to me differently, and have made me root for them just a little harder. Yours is one of them. Please keep updating us! We are invested.😉

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 6:23 PM, Tuesday, May 23rd]

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4516   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8792190
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 Justsomeguy (original poster member #65583) posted at 5:16 AM on Monday, June 12th, 2023

Well, I think another update is in order. Things are going quite well. We now each have a dresser drawer in there other's place. We see each other regularly on Wed and every other weekend.we would bothblikecit to be more, but thatvis how it is. I probably won't meet her daughter until the fall or winter, as she needs time to adjust. I did buy her a book though. It was one I loved to read to my Littles. It's about a mouse and a cookie (don't want to get the no soliciting slap). I told hercthat she could just give city to her DD without letting her know where city came from.

She has moved into my space comfortably and it is as if we are old friends. Since we are both givers, it has added an interesting dimension to the relationship. Gone are the tension and eggshells of my previous sojourns into romance. Now it just feels right.

She is very complimentary towards me, something I have a hard time with as my EXWW was never one to say nice things. I've explained how difficult this is for me, and she is determined to try and reverse the damage. Best of luck to her...

Anyway, I'm happy, she is happy, so all good so far. Who knew that I'd be here 5ish years post Dday?

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:55 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced 20

posts: 1824   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8794893
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 3:40 PM on Monday, June 12th, 2023

What a wonderfully positive update. Thanks for sharing!

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3460   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8794933
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 3:43 PM on Monday, June 12th, 2023

"Thank you EXWW! The gift that keeps on giving"

I wish you peace and happiness. I think we arrived here about the same timeframe? Anyway I am considering my situation as can't be ex soon enough to suite me WH actually gave me the gift of being free of him....as in not my monkey not my circus free of him.

WH was a nasty piece of work who caused me to experience so much anxiety. Now there is so much peace on the other side of infidelity. I am glad you found it.

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1660   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: VA
id 8794938
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 Justsomeguy (original poster member #65583) posted at 6:54 AM on Tuesday, June 13th, 2023

Shehawk:

Peace cannot be overvalued. After the trauma of infidelity, just to be able to settle into that feeling of "everything is going to be OK " is amazing.

Right now, I'm on my rooftop balcony, surrounded by candles, drinking a glass of wine, thinking, shit, I'd be miserable right now if my ww were here...

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:55 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced 20

posts: 1824   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8795034
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 3:50 AM on Wednesday, June 14th, 2023

If XWW were there, would you even be on the roof? The amount of growth you've had in the last 5 years is incredible. Great job, JSG.

[This message edited by leafields at 5:47 AM, Thursday, June 22nd]

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3460   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8795166
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 Justsomeguy (original poster member #65583) posted at 6:14 AM on Tuesday, June 20th, 2023

Well, I'm going to met my GF's mother this week. She's in town so I asked if we could get together to meet if my Gf felt that was appropriate. She said it was and I'll be taking them out for a nice dinner at a special restaurant I frequent. I'm hoping it goes well as I am rather fond of her daughter.

As far as the relationship is going, things are well. Although we don't see each other as much as we would like, we stole away for a 2 hour walk this evening. It was really nice to have her all to myself for even a little while.

I'll post an update after the dinner...

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:55 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced 20

posts: 1824   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8796065
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 9:52 PM on Tuesday, June 20th, 2023

What wonderful updates. Looking forward to the update after dinner…

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6007   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8796159
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countrydirt ( member #55758) posted at 3:42 AM on Thursday, June 22nd, 2023

Fantastic update Justsomeguy!

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021
Life is Good!

posts: 527   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8796389
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 4:08 AM on Saturday, June 24th, 2023

I have been looking forward to your updates. So encouraging to hear that you can thrive after all the excrement you've gone through.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3460   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8796720
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 Justsomeguy (original poster member #65583) posted at 2:36 AM on Tuesday, June 27th, 2023

Quick update. Dinner went well. She's cautious about me, which is good. She's gone back home and will be out again in the Fall. So that's it. Just moving forward and being in the moment.

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:55 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced 20

posts: 1824   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8797029
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 12:50 AM on Saturday, July 1st, 2023

I was wondering how dinner went. Glad you're enjoying life.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3460   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8797740
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 Justsomeguy (original poster member #65583) posted at 6:49 PM on Friday, July 7th, 2023

Well, we are going for our first weekend away together. Nothing fancy, just heading to the coast to visit my best friend so she can meet him. We are going out on a friend's boat to hit an artsy island, have some Persian food, and just relax. We are both very excited.

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:55 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced 20

posts: 1824   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8798612
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icytoes ( member #79512) posted at 9:28 PM on Friday, July 7th, 2023

I love reading your updates. I am so happy for you. Have a great weekend.

posts: 62   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2021
id 8798631
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 Justsomeguy (original poster member #65583) posted at 4:54 PM on Monday, July 10th, 2023

So the weekend was an absolute blast! My best friend and girlfriend got along very well.

We arrived late on Friday night, had a few drinks and went to bed. The next day, we did a short walk/hike to a suspension bridge and then went out on the ocean in a cabin cruiser a friend of my buddy owns. We anchored in a bay and chatted for a couple of hours. After, we took a short ferry ride to a local island and had lunch overlooking the marina. To end the evening, we went out for Persian food and then retired for the night.

We were both exhausted, but the smile on her face was priceless. It was just a fantastic day.

The trip home was great as well. Took the scenic route and snuck a short hike in. Came home, had a BBQ and took the dog for axwalk, just enjoying each other's company.

Strings are progressing well. I am almost starting to get used to feeling "happy" again. I must say, it is a very strange feeling.

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:55 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced 20

posts: 1824   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8798881
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 1:30 AM on Tuesday, July 11th, 2023

How fun! I'm so happy that you're feeling happy. You deserve it!

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3460   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8798956
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de.va.sta.ted ( member #22922) posted at 4:28 PM on Thursday, July 13th, 2023

So nice to read this update. Slow, steady, peaceful.

Me: BW Him: WH D-Day 1: February 2009 D-Day 2: April 2018 Divorced!

posts: 1049   ·   registered: Feb. 19th, 2009
id 8799250
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