Just a question do all WS have to run on empty filling BS cup and have nothing ever?
Absolutely not. Your job is not to fill the BS cup. If they are demanding you to do so, that is not a healthy relationship dynamic.
Are WS not allowed feelings?
Disclaimer: I'm only generalizing here to make a point about feelings.
Quite the contrary, one of the most common cheater traits is avoidance, which includes avoiding feeling those feelings. Cheaters will suppress the feelings of guilt and shame that they have once the start their affair. Before their affairs, there is a tendency to stuff feelings down which leads to resentments and can manifest as cheating. If anything, you should be expressing your thoughts and feelings to your BS, as sharing that is a form of intimacy with your BS.
Do WS have live on empty forever?
It sounds like you are doing a lot of, if not all of, the emotional labor within your marriage. While as WS does have to do heavy lifting and a lot of extra effort/work post affair, it is not all on you and you cannot sustain yourself on empty.
I'm not happy and it reflects in our sex life. BS is not happy because less of a sex life means BS thinks about the A more.
I try to make our sex life more active but currently can't cause of birth control and period issues. We have 6 kids and they come first and after all that I'm exhausted. I just want to sit down and veg out. I now know that I'm not allowed to do that. My cup is running on empty and BS says his is too.
I'm a BH/WH (madhatter) and the BH in me understands your BH's perspective, speaking personally, physical acts of intimacy are important to my feeling of connection to my wife, so again, I understand where he is coming from. However, you have 6 children together, meaning that he absolutely has had his share of physical intimacy with you in the past as your children didn't just get delivered by a stork. I cannot imagine taking care of 6 children together, as it sounds exhausting, but you guys may do well to look at planning time for sex. Setting aside a time during the week where you guys can spend time together and see where it leads. I am speculating now, but it seems like from the tone of your post that you do a lot of the emotional labor in your relationship and even though you are a WW, that is not fair and it may seem unfair to your BH, but he has to bring more balance to the relationship.
May I ask, with 6 kids, that is a lot of cooking, cleaning, appointments, soccer practices, dance recitals and laundry. What is your division of those sorts of labor around the house? Are you and your husband splitting those duties or are there areas where only you or him do things and why is that the case? My wife used to talk about how she was always too tired after cooking dinner, packing lunches for everyone the next day, feeding our cats, taking out the trash, helping with homework, helping with nighttime routine of our son, getting the dishes put in the dishwasher, etc. etc. My wife had a point there and I make a lot of efforts to make sure that she doesn't have to do all that stuff alone, which she never had to do, but we tag team and split the labor more than we ever have. It is never perfectly balanced, but more equitable split of household chores has improved our bedroom life. It is just a shame that it took two affairs and the possibility of a broken home for us to get there.
Do WS have to be miserable forever?
Is this our life now?
No, you do not have to be miserable forever. It is your life now because you guys are choosing to be in that spot. If this isn't working, you are always within your rights to throw in the towel. Just because you are the one who cheated does not mean that you must carry the burden of being unhappy and miserable. I think I'm a testament of a WH that is not miserable forever, quite the opposite, I'm content with where things are in my life and marriage.