I am the cliched husband whose wife had an affair with the electrician
Just an observation
After my EXWW affair I was 100% convinced that she would never cheat again. It was so out of character, and she saw what it did to me and us, but after reading so many "I’m back again" stories recently makes me question that. I hate to say it, but it reinforces my decision to divorce that it was the right one. I still think it was unlikely, but not having to suffer the pain I am reading here from so many, I’m glad even the slightest possibility was taken off the table.
I really feel for those here "back again" after thinking they thought things were good again
23 comments posted: Saturday, December 2nd, 2023
The reason I am bringing this topic up is on one of the threads I commented that I could have probably through lots of work, forgiven a one time sexual act.
The reason is that I confess I came close a few times after I found out about what she did.
I had a very high profile job in a very social field. Lots of parties, conventions, dinners etc. On a few occasions I was heavily flirted to by much younger women. I know it’s commonly thought of that older guys in positions of power prey on younger women, and have no doubt that is the case. But on the flip side, it’s almost as common for younger women to be attracted to the power of an older successful guy and they are the aggressors.
Prior to the affair I had really good boundaries and when getting the signals, although flattered, I always deflected leaving no room for anything to happen. On a danger scale, probably a 1 out of 5
After her affair things changed. I actually was doing even better work wise, and lost a lot of weight and got into really good shape. I don’t think I was conscious of it, but the number of women who now were sending out signals increased exponentially. Part of it was the job, and being in better shape, but if I take an honest look at it, I’m sure I was sending out a different signal after her affair and my self worth was in the toilet.
Instead of shutting things down when women were flirting, I began to enjoy the game and the feelings that it gave me. The feeling of being special and wanted by a younger attractive women was intoxicating. I came very close on more than one occasion to giving in. On the danger scale I was a 4.9 out of five. On a few occasions the women asked me to go back to their hotel rooms and made it clear that they wanted to have sex with me. I never did it, but had to self reflect that for it to get to that point I had to have lowered my boundaries to let it get to that point.
It also became clear to me I enjoyed it and wanted to have sex with these women which among other things factored into my reasoning to get divorced. My ex actually offered to open up the marriage on my end, but it wasn’t something I wanted. But I can see how easily a one time thing could happen
Clearly my boundaries went to shit after her affair. Just curious if this is something that other BS have experienced after their partner cheated?
36 comments posted: Wednesday, October 18th, 2023
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1 comment posted: Sunday, April 23rd, 2023