Being "open and honest" after covering her tracks.
Giving you full access to her phone well after she deleted all the damming evidence, leaving discussions with her mother that have no bearing on what she actually did behind your back.
The matching words of both of her known affair partners, after she has had time to talk with them to get their stories straight.
Talking a lot and acting like she is sorry after treating you like shit as her initial tactic, then finding out she would be fucked upon divorce.
I guess I am less impressed with the current state of affairs than others.
I would be incredibly surprised if she were telling you the truth about what she really had been getting up to with these 2 men.
Now she is throwing her mother under the bus. Maybe her mother is a bad person. Don't focus on her mom.
Your wife was the one who was cheating, lying, then deleting, not her mother.
***
Roverguy, what seems pretty obvious to me is you want to keep your marriage and to reconcile with your wife.
Unfortunately, you are rugsweeping your way to this goal.
Every day you don't proactively seek the truth is another day for the truth to degrade, another day for it to slip away.
When one is early in the betrayal process, sometimes the desire for the old life is stronger than the desire for the truth.
But as time passes, the romance and intense desire to get your old marriage back fade, but the feelings of betrayal remain.
And the desire to know what really happened, who you are actually attempting to reconcile with, grows.
This is called limbo and it is incredibly painful and draining.
I believe this is where your current course of action is headed, limbo.
With a wife who wants to keep her comfortable life and is not truly remorseful.
Sorry for the negative take, but that is how I see it.
Good luck.
[This message edited by faithfulman at 11:52 PM, Wednesday, December 7th]