SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I’m just afraid to set him off.

Gently - he's a powder keg and anything could and will set him off. The sky not being blue enough, or today being Tuesday. If/When he does. Please call 911 and let a professional handle it. You can't nice him into not going off, act "normal" enough for him not to go off, agree to anything enough for him not to go off. And - if he's one that uses his powder keg temper as a form of manipulation - that's bat shit crazy there and it will only continue to escalate.

I get what you're saying,but you better pull that money before he does. Because he will. I'm shocked that he hasn't.

Nope. Not Jekyll and Hyde. He was faking it. He never cared about any of that,other than himself.

You would do very well to start carrying a recording device on your person at all times. A VAR (voice-activated recorder) would be great because he doesn't know it's there. If nothing else though, use your phone to video any further rages. Don't hesitate to call 911 if you feel threatened. You can also use the National Domestic Violence hotline if you're scared of him, 800-799-7233. They can help you find local resources if you need help.

If he's just pissy, whatever. His pissy mood is no longer yours to manage. It's takes practice to maintain one's own equanimity when inundated with other people's toxic negativity, but the more you work at it, the better you'll be.

In the meantime, I would consider moving the money. You might need an attorney of your own if this keeps up. With any luck, he's having a temper tantrum and will start wrapping his mind around the reality of the situation. Remember to B-R-E-A-T-H-E.

((hugs))

I would love to give an update but believe WH is monitoring this, maybe spyware on my phone. We live in a big city but the surrounding area is a small town and people have given me info. Not that important, I was done based on what I already knew but when things settle down here and we get some orders in place I’d love to hear your feedback.

In the meantime, all the info I have has made me realize that a lot of people around me knew more about what was going on in my life than I did. I feel like I am living in the Truman Show, and it’s an unsettling feeling. I don’t know why they were all covering for each other but that may become clear.

As far as the topic of telling the kids-I don’t want them to feel the same way. Everyone in my family and WH’s family know about his LTA before. They all wanted me to leave but respected me for staying with the kids. WH’s family often asks why I’m still with him, so when the news hits about our divorce everyone will know why. I don’t need to say anything. I don’t want my kids to be the most affected and the last to know. I don’t want a relative saying something in front of them ( and I can imagine it happening).

This Truman Show feeling is sickening. The "code of silence" to protect the cheater that his friends were trying to maintain keeps me up at night. My kids don’t need details, they still need a dad but they don’t need to be lied to or shielded from what’s going on in their life.

I’m so sorry you now have another issue to face regarding the cheating. Finding out people knew — and hid it from you — is even more devastating than the affair.

Same thing happened to my good friend. Everyone knew her H was a serial cheater except her and her family and her close friends.

The neighbors knew. His work colleagues knew. The work colleagues wives knew. All of her H’s friends knew.

She dumped all of them and D the idiot serial cheating H.

Maybe that is what will happen to you.