trustedg ( member #44465) posted at 7:38 PM on Friday, October 25th, 2024
Your wife sounds like a real piece of work. I suggest seeing an attorney ASAP, just to make sure you, your finances,and the kids are protected.
You might want to keep a recording device on you to document her physical abuse, she may try to claim you are abusive.
Then tell OP, but chances are he has been a repeat offender and she knows.
Hang in there
Me BWHim WH DDay 12/2012Married a long time, in R
Jazzparis3726 (original poster new member #85365) posted at 9:10 AM on Saturday, October 26th, 2024
OK, good comments/suggestions.
You're correct about not confronting the AP: he is an arrogant asshole and it would make life hell at the home.
Getting in touch with his wife is a little different: apparently, also an MD, she lives in another state and from what I can see they see each other on just weekends.
I would suspect the relationship is not all that deep between them and so informing her of his tryst might amount to very little. Hell, his flings might be the reason they live apart.
Anybody been in this position, or any thoughts on whether information the AP's spouse under these conditions might be counterproductive?
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 1:30 PM on Saturday, October 26th, 2024
You can inform the AP’s wife but be prepared for backlash from your wife.
You may want to consider telling the other betrayed wife after you have started the D proceedings and are no longer living together.
Your wife sounds crazy and manipulative. I suggest you have a variable activated recording device on you at all times. I fear she may level domestic abuse charged against you to have you arrested.
Be very careful.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 10 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
ThisIsSoLonely ( Guide #64418) posted at 6:52 PM on Monday, October 28th, 2024
I would suspect the relationship is not all that deep between them and so informing her of his tryst might amount to very little. Hell, his flings might be the reason they live apart.
My WH and I lived apart for a long time due to his and my work before I moved to where he lived. It did not mean that our relationship was not that "deep" - it was. My WH's A occurred years after we lived in the same place. My WH and I are now divorced and we live in separate places but we date. If someone reached out to me and told me he was in a relationship with them now I would not be cool with that and while my reaction would be much swifter than last time and our relationship is not as "deep" as it once was, that is information I would want.
But, you do not inform the OBS because you are hoping for some outcome for you (IMO) - you inform them because you feel they deserve to know. If your only purpose for informing is that you hope it will stop their relationship or otherwise help you then I have no advice.
[This message edited by ThisIsSoLonely at 6:54 PM, Monday, October 28th]
You are the only person you are guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with. Act accordingly.
Constantly editing posts: usually due to sticky keys on my laptop or additional thoughts
