SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I took a swipe at my husband the other day in response to a comment he made. It just came out and I was surprised at myself how easily the words just formed. I was sarcastic. I suppose his comment hit my button.

He mentioned something about infidelity and I said sarcastically ´you tried that already, and it did not work out for you did it?´

Does anyone else have swipes to share?

SOOOO many times I wanted to fire away with a snarky comment but I just remind myself that it may make me feel good in the moment but doesn't help in the long run

So many have come out. And I have been surprised many times how crass and nasty I can be in the heat of the moment. Here are a couple:

1. ‘I have told you my number 1 requirement from you is better communication, oh other than fucking other women’.

2. ‘Maybe you would read my messages or emails properly if I attached pictures of boobs’.

3. ‘Do you like what I’m wearing? I mean I know it’s not the slutty dresses you usually like’

4. ‘What was your end game? Start dating her, go and meet her Mum and Dad, I mean at least you’d be close in age’

And I’ll stop there. I’m not proud of what I say sometimes but I know it must come from deep down rooted anger because I don’t usually go around talking like that 😂

Not a comment, but an action:

A couple of days after DDay, I turned onto our street and saw my H crossing to get to our neighbor's house. I threw the car into neutral and revved the engine. He almost shit himself. It was glorious! I still chuckle about that.

I don't think my swipes at xWS ever stopped. He was never remorseful though and put me through multiple D-Days and False R.

I also was not cut out for R.

In the beginning of the Reconciliation stage, I brought up every negative thing he told me about myself during his affair.

Not so proud moments include me saying things like "why do you want to Reconcile? You said XYZ".

I brought up how he said I never loved him, he’s been unhappy for years, I never apologize etc.

I did not make Reconciliation easy that’s for sure.

[This message edited by The1stWife at 5:50 PM, Tuesday, October 22nd]

Raises hand to admit guilt !

✋️

One of my favorites was early in the process she was still being defensive. She said "I know I screwed up". I said "No honey you definitely screwed down". 🤣🤣🤣

I haven't taken a swipe at her in a long time. Hard to remember the details of some of the swipes I took in the first couple years, but I definitely took them.

I admit I can be a real bitch when I am angry - no filter - I say the first thing that comes to mind. The first year there were a lot of swipes.

We were watching a show where a husband asks out a women shortly after his wife's death. My husband said "His wife has only been dead a week and already he is asking out another women." My reply, "At least he waited until she was dead to start dating."

Shortly after D-day a commercial came on for the restaurant where they would go on their "dates" and he commented that their food was crap. I looked at him like he was crazy and said "I guess it's not the food that's important when you know you'll get fucked after the meal."

Not proud - but c'mon - you'd have to be a saint not to say anything when they say something so absurd

@Nanatwo. Remind me to never get on your bad side :)

I absolutely take swings at any hypocritical judgement coming from him about anyone! (Except affair partner, F her). But, even when he says something negative about someone I don’t care for I can’t help but add "you have no room to judge considering you’ve behaved much worse". I don’t care who it is, actors, political candidates, world leaders, neighbors, etc…. He needs to STFU as he has behaved every bit as reprehensibly.

On the other side
So true that the people they used to overtly mock are doing the same sorts of things they were actually covertly doing…

"At least he waited until she was dead to start dating"

This ^^^ savage nana savage but so accurate

I don’t get within miles and preferably hundreds of miles or more of exwh. I never intent to ever see him again. That said, I did have someone say something to me about him the other day and I said that a lack of integrity is not gonna age well
I guess that’s the closest I will get to a verbal swipe from afar

There have been many over the years - but it's been so long I can hardly even fish out the context under which they were said.

I do recall once that my WH was lamenting how he now has zero social life and never does anything with anyone (the A was at the workplace and AP and OBS both worked there and all of his social group was also there - now he is a pariah - gets invited to nothing etc) - but this was early going after the A had been outed at his job and everyone was taking shit about him behind of and in front of him so the sting of his new reality was very fresh (as an aside at the time I was rather happy the consequences for him were so astoundingly harsh - but it's so freaking high school there - people would be petrified if I were to out his job based on these people's behaviors).

He was a bit drunk and having a woe is me moment and he was mad about this happening - the talk, the cold shoulder, the judgment of others - like somehow he hadn't done it to himself. He then blurted out that someone had a big party at their house a few days before and he was not invited, and no one even told him about it, and he only knew at all because he overheard someone talking about it. This was a party that he (we) definitely would have been invited to before. And he was looking to me as a shoulder to cry on or something - just completely ignoring the A and all that he had done - and genuinely believing that I was going to console him or talk shit about how unfairly he was being treated so something.

I recall looking at him in disbelief, like he had lost his fucking mind, that he was actually talking to ME and whining about how his A had ruined his friendships and fucked up his workplace, and saying:

Yeah, its too bad. Who would have thought that two years ago you were getting laid by multiple women almost every day and now you have to masturbate at home alone? Crazy.

I looked him straight in the eyes and smirked and walked off.

I'm sure I said a lot of other zingers but that one is the one that popped into my head first.

[This message edited by ThisIsSoLonely at 9:11 PM, Wednesday, October 23rd]

In a very difficult and hot discussion, he said to me "you always get so angry!"

Without blinking I said, "You always f*ck other women, so there’s that."

I've held my tongue over the years. But early on I just got tired of hearing how LTAP kept threatening [insert stupid bullshit here] and would respond "Oh...so you were fucking her to protect me?"

During the time of false reconciliation - before I knew the extent of his cheating, the serial cheating ex-WH was explaining to me that the reason he had his affair was because he was looking for love and happiness.

I paused, looked at him incredulously and said, "I’m pretty sure you aren’t going to find love and happiness between another woman’s legs".

He agreed. 🤷‍♀️

We were playing trivia with a group of friends at a local pub. One of our friends mentioned a team had been eliminated for cheating and we needed to be careful about perception and put our phones away. WH replied indignantly "I would never cheat! That's an insult to my integrity!" My eyes rolled back so far I immediately snapped "you won't cheat at trivia but you'll fuck a whore behind my back. Got it." Kinda ruined the night 😂

I never do this.

The nearest I got: my WW and I were watching a dating show, and she asked me which of the men I'd match her with. I told her I couldn't do it, and I like to think she understood why. Games like that are fine in faithful marriages, but not where there's been infidelity.

Wow, just so many responses that fit to a T.

My FWS has always been more judgmental about such things than I have.

I have had to bite my tongue on so many occasions that I have lost count. Someone who hit on her, that she didn't tell me about until she confessed her prior affair, died and there has been some family drama around his memorial service (his family, not ours). She mentioned this controversy yesterday as their children had recently invited us to the memorial. I was very diplomatic in my response.

What I want to say "Why would you think I give a shit about his family issues, whether he is dead or living?".

It's like she has forgotten that he tried to get in her pants and she didn't tell me for years and we continued to socialize with them.