SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Anyone went on this path?
Any thoughts on this?

In our state, adultery is not a "crime" so I cannot sue them for adultery. I can file divorce on the grounds of adultery though.

This might sound petty but I just want them, especially the OW, to know that this is just one of the consequences they can face for what they did!

I feel like they are just getting away with it like nothing happened and us, as a BS, are the ones who are suffering the most and paying the highest price of what they did.

Can someone smack me on my head so that I can think straight that. Im so frustated right now. Im tired of living in a limbo.

In a fantasy world, I love it.

But.

What if you lose? The smug look on her face will be horrible.

Add in..you live with your wh. In many cases where infidelity IS illegal, if a bs stays with their ws for any length of time after dday, the court looks at that as forgiveness,and the case is dismissed.

You would also have to tell a courtroom, full of people, your deepest pain.

Don't do it. There are other ways to bring consequences to the OW. Nothing,illegal, of course.

Edited to add..don't get me wrong. They are both 200% guilty of causing emotional distress. But the price you would pay,isn't worth it. You've paid enough.

[This message edited by HellFire at 12:07 AM, Friday, December 15th]

I definitely spent time thinking about this too. I think its natural to be livid about the AP not having any actual consequences. I know I certainly was.

That said, the legal requirements and things you'd need to prove for such a lawsuit differ from place to place. The requirements are high. There is often an element of intentionality required. In some jurisdictions, the humiliation needs to be public. You'll likely need to prove actual psychological injury (ie. not just upset), and hire a psychiatrist to do a complete evaluation of you. The AP could add your spouse as a third party to the action, after all, they also contributed to your distress - arguably more directly (and so AP would likely be entitled to contribution from your spouse for any amount they'd be responsible for paying). As part of the lawsuit, you'd be opening yourself up to AP and their lawyer having access to medical records and all sort of personal information about you - they'd get to ask you all sorts of incredibly personal, potentially humiliating, questions about your marriage and your personal life. And litigation is expensive. Really expensive. And can take years, with no guarantees of success. And if you lose you're on the hook for your legal costs and theirs too.

It's not worth it. I agree with Hellfire - the price you've paid is already too high. The best revenge is living well.

If you want revenge, live YOUR best life.

Be happy. Be productive. Participate in things that interest you. With our w/out the cheater.

Believe me I don’t care what the OW may or may not know. But my happiness is no longer dependent upon my H and our marriage.

I started a business a few years ago and it’s finally going to start paying off after 3 years of hard work. One of my satisfactions is being somewhat independent.

Thought about this too.

Great fantasy!

Reality-seeing her day after day in court.

Reality-if she has a OBS-he can sue WH. This can affect what you would get in a D, or your living standard if you stay married.

Hard as it is, let the OW go. She is just a broken piece of shit. If she is out of WH life for good, treat her like a bowel movement and flush her.

While she is far from innocent, it is your WH who betrayed you, not OW.

I am many years out from Dday, and I can tell you, hating AP is just not worth the effort.