SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

After 8 years I didn't think I'd be posting here again. There have been some good times but things seem to be unravelling again. This time, it could be that I'm pushing H away by not being the lovey dovey wife he wants. Sex is the big problem. He wants more and I get turned off by his constant insinuations. Maybe I just really can't get over everything that he has done. Not just to me but to his children too. My current health problems are not helping as I am constantly tired and going through lots of tests. I'm now 60 and H is 63 but he still acts like a moody teenager when he doesn't get his own way. He is in a mood now and won't talk.....says we'll talk after the holidays and decide what to do! Honestly, if he wants to leave, he can go. But I'm not the one who is leaving my home after all the hard work I've put into to it AND trying to forgive him and make this work.

Has your H changed from pre-d-day? If so, in what ways? If he's still a moody teenager who won't talk when an issue is fresh and who won't accept that a partner's health can impact their sex drive, I question whether he's changed from cheater to good partner?

The silent treatment is emotional abuse.

Being angry because your wife isn't in the mood,and having a tantrum about it is an attempt at coercion.

The fact that you are unwell, and he is choosing to act this way, rather than be loving,concerned, and understanding is abuse.

Infidelity is abuse.

Sounds like he's an abuser.

I'm sorry you're unwell. I'm dealing with health issues myself. I am in pain, and going through numerous tests to determine what's going on. We haven't had sex in almost 3 months. My wh has made a few comments, here and there,about how if I was feeling better, he'd like to..but he hasn't been pushy,or moody. If he was, it would make me feel so much worse. And I don't know if I even want to attempt reconciliation again. I'm leaning towards not. But,that's not even something I'm thinking about,until my health is better.

You deserve better. It's ok to not want sex when you are unwell. Your wh needs to grow up. And,honestly, if this is how he is treating you now..as we all get older..many people develop health issues. Can you count on him to take care of you,if you need it? Will he be empathetic, and loving. It doesn't appear so. That is something you need to consider.

Believenotfirst, from what I recall of your posts, your husband has never been remorseful and you've spent the last 8 years of your life rugsweeping.

I know you had a lot of reasons to stay (your family, your restaurant, your love for him etc) but as you enter this next phase of your life and are going through health problems, do you honestly see your husband as someone who will provide you with the support, love, and comfort that you need? Do you trust him to make life or death decisions on your behalf? Do you really want to put up with a petulant teenager for the rest of your life?