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My D-day was seven years ago and we are definitely recovered. This morning I got an instagram request from ow. At first I just thought it was a scam so I really didn’t think much of it. After thinking more about it I checked my husband’s instagram and she sent him a message saying "I love you ". They aren’t friends and he doesn’t really use instagram so he didn’t even know it was there. What do you think I should do? We both blocked her but I’m pretty pissed 😤

If you block someone on Instagram they can’t find you unless they create a new account under a new name. How did she find your husband to send a private message?

OnTheOtherSideOfHell,
Truthfully it’s been so long I don’t even know. My FWH has only been on instagram for a few years and and I don’t think he even thought of it (he never even uses it) and I never blocked her because she’s been out of our lives for years.

She's fishing for attention. Don't give her any.

Block her and ignore, she is just trying to stir up drama. Or, it could be someone else trolling you.

Our neighbors / friends are going through some tough M issues. They were separated for a couple of months, the H and W were getting texts from an unknown number telling them what horrible people they are. Saying awful things, after some investigation it turns out it was one of her best friends and confidants. Some people are desperate for attention.

I would re-block her and not respond. In my mind, she appears very pathetic and lonely and desperate to still be pining. Knowing she’s still stuck in her own self inflicted misery would be enough for me to keep it silent and keep it moving. I mean seriously, 8 billion people in the world and her worth is so low that she is STILL reaching at scraps from someone else’s husband? Years later too? What emptiness and misery. No thank you.

On the flip side, your feelings are so valid. I’m sorry that this happened and that you are feeling this way. A question I would ask myself if I did find it was getting to me is, "what feeling is this bringing up within me?" I would sit with that, breathe, journal, and let it out, take the time to process it. Find what her reaching out is triggering in you so that you can work through it and she holds less power over you in that regard. ((((Sammi))))

[This message edited by maise at 2:20 PM, Sunday, November 5th]

OH yes...WH LTAP just won't go away.

She's throwing spaghetti to the wall to see what will stick, while letting you know she's still there and trying to make herself relevant again. Pathetic.

Do not engage/respond. Re-block and move on.

BUT - make sure you take screenshots and document. Keep in a safe place. You may need the evidence because if she keeps this up you may need to have an attorney send her a Cease & Desist. We had to do that back in 2021 as LTAP in our case kept this up with various profiles and it helped the attorney determine what approach to take.

You are fabulous. She is just pathetic.

Sounds like OW got drunk and started creeping.

I think ignoring her is the best solution. She was trolling for a response - any response - and will be most affected by not getting one.

Why would you do anything? She's nobody and nothing. Block and ignore. She wants attention and she wants to be relevant. By doing anything other than blocking her, you give her what she wants. If she does anything else that directly affects you or your family, i.e. calling or physically stalking, then do something. If you are concerned she make take this route, speak with an attorney. But otherwise, there's nothing more to do. Be pissed for a day or two, and then move forward. She's really not worth the headspace.
Xhole's mistress did this shit for years. The first time I was pissed, and rightfully so, because I wasn't even with the cheater anymore. She "won" by default because I kicked him out and divorced him, so why cyberstalk me? But by the second go around, it just made me realize how pathetic she was. I don't know if she still cyberstalks me, but I don't really care either.

Sammi,

Is she still married or SO then unblock her and take screen shots.....forward to anyone in her life that matters

Remind your WH that he put his family at risk from the OW, this is always a potential consequence, and it's on your WH.

Tell him this is a serious warning not to get emotionally entangled with people and to maintain appropriate boundaries.

Your WH bears some guilt in what just happened.

I think you should go out some nachos and a few margaritas. I mean, if she keeps it up, you could even turn it into some kinda drinking game.

Then, whenever you get bored of that, and decide to respond to her in 20 years or whatever, you can tell her 'I feed on your desperation, bitch', and actually mean it.

Err... I apologize.

That's not a nice thing to say or do. You should totally just ignore her like everyone else is saying.