Can't find the edit button... too tired. Sorry for the written diarrhea....
How many affairs did he have?
He's been giving, I estimate, in the low ten-thousands of comments to gonewild and nofan girls. Nice, sweet compliments, not gross. Weirdly nice and loving. Very strange. To see that as cheating is debatable. However I know that with 4 of them he had short pb-contact for a while. And one on KIK. The KIK one was about a month, then he was like shit I need to stop. The other Reddit ladies were mostly nothing much. He says. I cannot confirm; too much deleted. Except the last. I can see that since february, he was heavily involved with giving her compliments and from what I can find they had contact over messagers as well. I can find traces in google translate.
I contacted that lady. She confirmed what he told me: the sexual comments were (mostly) on her public posts. In the messages, it was more about hobbies. Him wishing her good luck restoring furniture. (While I was restoring out fucking HOUSE....) Plants. Gardening. And, and, and... that lady also politely informed me that 1) she considered him a friend (therefore confirming that yes. That was a real online affair) and 2) _he had not given me the right username, was I sure I had all the info, maybe dig some more because you are being lied to_.
So, there is that. Does it count?
Keep in mind also, that for years we had a dead bedroom (not of my choice) and I didn't get any compliments. At ALL. That also makes it cheating. He did online SO GENEROUSLY what he should have been doing live. (I like being done!)
mocking you and your appearance. Honestly, he doesn't sound like a good guy at all
I used to look like... well. Young, slim, small boobs. Fit. After the kids I looked different.
He saw mostly slim, small boobed ladies. On tv and on porn. I think he _genuinly_ thought for a while that I indeed was overweight. Because ...no reference material. And by that time, he already saw real women as uninteresting, and he probably had PIED, aka, turned himself into a pornosexual. I think he genuinly for a while believed I was weird looking _but that was because of porn_. Doesn't make it any better. But once I spoke out that I suspected this was going on he did shift to milf-porn and was able again to get it up with me.
God. That makes it sound even worse. But also... my god. Why was he so far gone?
He didn't used to be like this. He used to be quiet, kind, shy. He still is. Helps people. Is willing. Just horribly depressed and damaged. And so, so DUMB.
What happened? With him, to get so selfish over the last decade? To me, that I ....didn't stand up earlier?
What happened? My god. What did I allow to happen to me?