SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I respect the viewpoints of other members of the group and thought I would post about this current event and see what people think about posting?
I am considering breaking the silence. I have somewhat of a growing social media presence around rather mundane pictures and videos that apparently tens of thousands of people view.
I think it would be healthy for me to break the silence but I am sure there are some downsides to it.

It’s the hand over the mouth post I am thinking of doing.

Thoughts?

Also mods if you think this belongs in a different thread my apologies.

  Moving to General

Shehawk

Let me start by stating that you did nothing wrong by posting this in Off Topic, and that as one of the "staff" of this site I really appreciate your comment and thoughts in posting this in Off Topic rather than possibly break some site-rule by posting this elsewhere. After all – is this an infidelity issue?
I also want to personally THANK YOU for bringing this subject to the table and YES – I 100% support your thought of being active and vocal about domestic abuse.

I decided to use my authority and move this subject to General. Both so it get’s a wider audience, and also so it gets the attention it deserves.

This site focuses on "traditional" infidelity – the sort where a spouse has a sexual or emotional attachment to a third person, outside the boundaries agreed on or expected of by the betrayed spouse. Yet there are so many other ways someone can be unfaithful to the marriage or the expectations of a relationship. You can be financially unfaithful, emotionally unfaithful, unfaithful with your time… and by being physically and/or emotionally abusive.
Domestic abuse IS infidelity.

This strikes close to my heart. I come from a loving family where there was so much clear and obvious mutual love and respect between my parents. They had their ups and downs but there was never any abuse. As a young man starting in law enforcement what surprised me the most was the frequency and how common domestic abuse was. All of a sudden, I was exposed to a world I didn’t know existed.
Furthermore – it wasn’t "only" the uneducated couple shacking up with substance abuse issues… I entered the homes of doctors, lawyers, carpenters, contractors, nurses… mansions to hovels, drunk, drugged or sober… underachievers and overachievers… and the average Joe next door.

At the time – over 30 years ago – we police officers were so powerless… The sanctity of the home, the unwillingness of the victim to press charges, the lack of witnesses… Way too often we had to leave the premises knowing that within the next couple of hours the wife (and yes – it was usually a man beating a woman) would get "what she deserves" from her fuming husband.

For years after leaving Law Enforcement I volunteered at a domestic abuse center. Managed their IT system and helped with accounts and administrative issues. I have the greatest respect for the work done at these places, and don’t hesitate in referring those abused to their hotlines and guidance.
I have also talked to by kids (at the appropriate age) and my sons-in-law about abuse and it’s damage.

I think it’s a key issue to be aware of domestic abuse and to recognize it’s prevalence.
If your voice can make a single victim reach out, or make a neighbor call the police, or make a teacher aware of the bruises on a parents face, or make the coworker reach out to the colleague with a black eye… that is IMHO a good use of whatever influence you might have.

I think it would be a great thing if you participated. The more people who can be reached & saved, the better. Sometimes, it's the simplicity of the delivery that has the widest-reaching effects.

There will always be those with negativity to spread. As long as you can ignore them, I think you'll be ok.

Thanks Lea
Working up my courage still but thanks for the encouragement.

I'm very fortunate to not have dealt with this in my life personally.
But when I think about the people I love, the people I care for, there is little more that makes my angrier than the thought of them enduring abuse.
Wishing you the courage and clarity to do what is best for you to do.

Thanks for the comment SerJR

I have peace in my life now, which is such a blessing.

Post an update when you have one.

Yes! Do it. The best way to get people to see the light and be more comfortable talking about their own experiences and seeking help is to hear others do the same.