ThisIsSoLonely (original poster guide #64418) posted at 5:21 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2024
It happened again - I forgot my double d-day.
D-day 1 - when I confronted and got confirmation from WH about the A was 10/1/17...D-day 2, when I discovered, confronted, and got confirmation that the A had never stopped and was firmly underground while WH was pretending to try to R, was 10/1/18 - 1 year later to the day.
I recall posting on here about it and some well meaning person commiserating with me said that I should prepare myself for the trauma October 1 will likely bring every year, that it will likely be burned in my head for a long time, and to try to give myself some space for that to happen. Well my friends, apparently burned in my head it is not (and I think I forgot it last year too). If you would have told me back when the A was ongoing and in the aftermath that I would completely disassociate October 1 with two of the most horrible days of my life I would have never believed you. Never. But, I was wrong!!
So please take some comfort in this little victory of mine - especially if you are in the early days...things can get better, even if you have false-r like I did...even if you divorce like I did...even if you move far away to a place you know no one, like I did...even if you end up casually dating your WS after you divorce, like I did. Even if......
You can make it. This too shall pass. If I am any evidence of this, you too are stronger than you think.
[This message edited by ThisIsSoLonely at 10:42 PM, Thursday, October 10th]
You are the only person you are guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with. Act accordingly.
Constantly editing posts: usually due to sticky keys on my laptop or additional thoughts
Lostwings ( member #79902) posted at 6:02 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2024
This is encouraging .
Thank you for posting positive thought after such painful experience .
I am a romantic , hoping that you are still dating your exWH.
I am 3 years on after Dday and I still get painful mind movies daily . Reading your thread gives me hope !!
I thought it was love at the end of the rainbow , but a banshee came and almost destroyed my pot of gold . In R.
EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 8:33 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2024
Tisl I'm so happy for you! You and I were on similar timelines (my dday 1 was nov 2018) and I remember your struggles in those early days. It's so good to see you doing so much better these days 
For any newbies reading, do take heart. I promise it will get better, even if that feels absolutely impossible in those early days.
[This message edited by EllieKMAS at 8:33 PM, Friday, October 11th]
"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger
"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park
Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 7:29 PM on Saturday, October 12th, 2024
Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years
Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 8:26 PM on Saturday, October 12th, 2024
Wishing you much peace and happiness
"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!
fareast ( Moderator #61555) posted at 1:57 AM on Monday, October 14th, 2024
Thanks for sharing this TISL! It’s a valuable message to remember! I remember your early days and the horrid situation your Ex-WH’s infidelity put you in with your M and your career! You were blindsided and left with awful choices. You preserved by dint of your character and excellent (IMHO)attitude no matter the devastating revelations and false R. Here’s to not remembering for years to come!
Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.
Groot1988 ( member #84337) posted at 3:03 AM on Thursday, October 17th, 2024
Thank you for giving us hope and coming back to share your journey! I’m sure coming back isn’t always easy But hearing your story really gives me hope. Wishing you much happiness!
Married 5 years (together 11) Four children Me Bs 36Him WH 35- 4 month PA Dday Oct 6- lots of TT final disclosure Jan 16.
"If we walk through hell we might as well hold hands, we should make this a home"- citizen soldier
