SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hi all, it's been years since I've posted here. However I needed to post today because the karma train has hit my ex and it hit him HARD. He's now 60, lost his job, is a caregiver for his very social adult daughter that has Down Syndrome, he and the AP had been off/on for years and now it's off big time and he's struggling emotionally. He's been calling me off/on this year so I asked him what's wrong and he asked why I asked him that. I explained that I typically only hear from him during our adult son's birthday, my birthday or mother's day and he only reaches out more when he's struggling with something. Anyway he's framing everything like he sacrificed so much for his daughter and he is now in this space of not having the right support system for her yada, yada, yada. Talking about how he really needs a female in his life that understands his daughter will come first and to "connect" with her IE: if the woman is doing social things for herself mani/pedi then why not ask his daughter to go etc, etc, etc. He even cried and mentioned several times he was single and never saw himself single at 60. I'm writing in because I'm actually at peace I mean really at peace knowing that he finally got his in the end. The women in our area now know exactly the type of man he is. Very good looking, keeps himself up etc but is a user BIG TIME!!! I'm like dude over the years you've had plenty of women (good) who have stepped in, wanted you 100%, helped you with your child but because you were young etc you felt you had time and cheated, emotionally abused them and was financially abusive. Now that he's been knocked back down again he's distorting his past (he sacrificed for his daughter and "I know I'm a good man" and refusing to admit that he put himself in that position based on his actions NOT because he put his daughter first. He always put himself first. I'm actually at work on a break and as I was sitting here I kept thinking I'm really feeling at peace today for some reason then I thought back to my conversation w/him last night. We stopped living together in 2010 but continued to see each other off/on (sporadically) till the beginning of 2013. Then in September 213 my grandmother died suddenly, my dad July 2016, several uncles, male cousins and my daughter's father in 2022 (auto accident). So, I've been "grieving" losses for 9 years. I realized that in 2023 we lost no one and I've been really working on myself and figured this fall I'd start working on my weight gain etc and get myself back on track before my 60yh birthday in March 2027. Anyway I say all of this to say I actually feel free just knowing he finally got his and honestly I don't even feel guilty. I've waited for so long and now it's finally happened. Thanks for letting me post this here, I simply needed to put it out in the universe so I can finally move forward. I hope and pray everyone is doing well.

[This message edited by krisdev at 7:30 PM, Thursday, September 19th]

Talking about how he really needs a female in his life that understands his daughter will come first and to "connect" with her…

Tell him gee sorry, but you don’t know any single woman that fits the bill…

Rewriting history - typical cheater behavior.

Sounds like he was able to manipulate people throughout his life and now he no longer has the ability to do so.

Too bad he doesn’t see himself as he really is. Because then he might have a fighting chance to make some changes.

@Bigger, I did the whole "well it looks like you're going to have to go younger, someone who has children and is looking for someone to help her. OR you will have to find a woman who has a disabled child that understands your needs". What I really wanted to say was you need to hire a companion that comes in when you need her to assist you. His issue is he belongs to a motorcycle club and like flitting around to their events and the women he's had over the years is tired of it. I'm still laughing.

@The1stWife you're absolutely correct. All of his life he's been able to manipulate and re-write history to suit his needs lying on past partners etc and now everything has come crashing down. I'd be willing to bet $100 that he's dusted off his "phone book" and is going through the rotation to see who will answer his calls and who he can manipulate. What he fails to understand is women in our age group (him and mine) who don't have kids to take care of and are independent aren't interested in going back into the "daily family life". We are in the position now to travel and enjoy companionship without living with a man and taking care of him daily unless we want to.

Krisdev

Spot on!

Isn’t indifference a lovely place to be? Congratulations on achieving that. And yeah, he f*cked around and found out. No small violins for him.

And great that you are turning your focus to YOU. You deserve it!

@BarelyBreathing thank you so much. I feel wonderful, like dark cloud lifted.

Karma can be a bitch and it's spelled HAHAHAHAHA

[This message edited by WB1340 at 5:44 AM, Friday, September 20th]

Send him a link to the Henry Rollins video "Liar" and tell him it can be a special couple song for he and himself when he and his ego are lonely

survrus - you made me spit my coffee!

But he is right - Henry Rollins sums it up quite succinctly. I also recommend listening to it while watching the video. He is spot on with his gradual facial expression changes as the song progresses.