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Reconciliation :
Honesty and Transparency

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 Tanner (original poster guide #72235) posted at 4:30 AM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2024

TMI

One thing I have told here before is after Dday and implementing the 180 i always present my best self. That includes farting in front of my W. To this day almost 5 years later, I do not fart or burp in front of my W. Honestly it鈥檚 her loss, she is missing out but things are lost in infidelity.

Rule number one in R is honesty and integrity. We just had a discussion today about a couple of active threads here I was telling her about. I was telling her the bottom line issue is a lack of honesty and transparency.

Well tonight I was in the room alone and let fly. She was outside or something. Comes in immediately and says "OMG did you fart?" I panicked and immediately said "no!!" I lied and tried to TT but it was obvious. I confessed.

She said "isn鈥檛 honesty and transparency number one?" Then said "when are going to confess on SI?

In a fun and lighthearted manner, here I am, confessing. I did it!!! I farted, I lied about it, I feel shame. She forgave me 馃榾

[This message edited by Tanner at 4:32 AM, Tuesday, August 13th]

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3540   路   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   路   location: Texas DFW
id 8845725
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 4:54 AM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2024

LOL! Great transparency story, Tanner. My mom was one married to a man who didn't know that women farted. She schooled him very well. She had a lactose problem and loved ice cream.

I commend you for your honesty and transparency.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3725   路   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   路   location: Washington State
id 8845729
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 Tanner (original poster guide #72235) posted at 5:08 AM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2024

My mom was one married to a man who didn't know that women farted. She schooled him very well.

I have always said my W is one of the most proper Ladies I know, my Mother is the other one. I don鈥檛 think they do that.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3540   路   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   路   location: Texas DFW
id 8845731
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BraveSirRobin ( member #69242) posted at 8:20 AM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2024

Somewhere, a fart signal is going out to notthevictem.

WW/BW

posts: 3643   路   registered: Dec. 27th, 2018
id 8845733
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Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 2:51 PM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2024

馃槀馃ぃ馃槀

GOOD for MRS.TANNER for holding your feet to the fire Coozann grin !! I am just happy it wasn't while you were "doing the deed" or something could have been caught on fire!!

馃ぃ馃槀馃ぃ

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6665   路   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   路   location: Southeastern United States
id 8845748
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SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 10:32 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2024

HAHAHA! This is awesome!

Before DDay, I would never admit that I farted. Now we rate each other for volume and quality. laugh

Remove the "I want you to like me" sticker from your forehead and place it on the mirror, where it belongs. ~ Susan Jeffers

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1445   路   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8845855
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hikingout ( member #59504) posted at 11:29 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2024

Sometimes you have to let go of the outcome and let 鈥榬e rippppp!!!

I will say that now that we no longer live in our RV there is more space to get away from those stinky situations :-) In a camper you basically Dutch oven anyone who dare enter.

7 years of hard work - WS and BS - Reconciled

posts: 7479   路   registered: Jul. 5th, 2017   路   location: Arizona
id 8845859
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 5:59 AM on Thursday, August 15th, 2024

One time, my youngest and oldest were watching a movie. DS3 fell asleep in my lap. Oldest DS was on the floor. All of a suddeb, this horrible stench wafted my way. My eyes watered and I was choking, reaching behind me to open the window. Oldest DS was smiling, and youngest woke up crying. "What's that smell?" It was so bad that I remember the smell nearly 25 years later.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3725   路   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   路   location: Washington State
id 8845889
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 Tanner (original poster guide #72235) posted at 3:51 PM on Thursday, August 15th, 2024

LoL, I have enjoyed all the responses. I do want to add that denying a fart is an instinctual response and does not reflect on a person鈥檚 overall integrity. It鈥檚 a free pass IMO 馃ぃ

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3540   路   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   路   location: Texas DFW
id 8845919
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InkHulk ( member #80400) posted at 4:01 PM on Thursday, August 15th, 2024

Tanner, out of curiousity, what is the underlying goal or belief of keeping a polished version of yourself front and center? No judgment here, I鈥檓 genuinely curious. You said this is a new reality born out of the affair. What is its purpose for you?

I鈥檒l say that I am now doing far more self care than I ever have before in my life. Shaving more regularly, dressing nicer, added a cologne to my daily hygiene routine, getting fit. Is it in that spirit? I could definitely see the appeal of retaining the mystery in a relationship with things such as flatulents laugh

People are more important than the relationships they are in.

posts: 2289   路   registered: Jun. 28th, 2022
id 8845921
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 Tanner (original poster guide #72235) posted at 11:33 PM on Thursday, August 15th, 2024

Tanner, out of curiousity, what is the underlying goal or belief of keeping a polished version of yourself front and center?

Thanks for asking I have thought about this and the best answer is, when I made positive changes, my life changed for the better. I fixed so much I'm not sure what one thing is working, so I choose to wake up every day and present my best self to everyone.

I give zero credit to infidelity and all the credit to the 180. After Dday 2 my self esteem was shit. I took a hard look at myself and I had let so much of myself and my life get away from me. I was so numb that I only ate because I had to. During this time I tried new food, I cleaned my diet, and started exercising, I split my company and went on my own, I went changed everything, including growing a sweet beard.

I am very proud of where I am today, I look ten years younger and am in the best shape of my life. I don't want to ever go back to pre 180 Tanner, so I continue to maintain my personal standards.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3540   路   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   路   location: Texas DFW
id 8845969
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InkHulk ( member #80400) posted at 1:23 AM on Friday, August 16th, 2024

Makes sense. Thanks for sharing. Keep on keeping on, brother. 馃槑

People are more important than the relationships they are in.

posts: 2289   路   registered: Jun. 28th, 2022
id 8845980
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 Tanner (original poster guide #72235) posted at 2:23 AM on Friday, August 16th, 2024

Makes sense. Thanks for sharing. Keep on keeping on, brother. 馃槑

What if one day I fart in front of her and suddenly loose all my hair and gain 50 lbs? I can鈥檛 take that chance 馃ぃ馃ぃ馃榾

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3540   路   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   路   location: Texas DFW
id 8845983
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