SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hope everyone is finding some peace today.

Could anyone suggest the best academic/research articles describing the rewrite of marital history by a WW?

Or a book that is the gold standard as a reference?

Need it for court.
Thanks.

I really doubt you will find exactly what you are looking for.
However there is a lot that has been written about moral disengagement – and IMHO that’s the behavior that a WS (wife or husband) tends to show when "justifying" their affair.
You can find some documentation on moral disengagement and infidelity, but I’m not so sure about moral disengagement research specifically aimed at cheating women.

I have shared this numerous times: As a young cop my mentor pointed out how nearly everyone – like probably 99% - would explain why they "had to" break the law or do what they did to get our attention: The driver exceeding the speed limit would tell us how he was only following the flow of traffic, or how the roads were empty anyways, or how he was only putting himself at risk. The drunk driver how it was actually flu and not the alcohol that diminished his driving abilities. The burglar who insisted everyone was insured so they would get a new TV anyways. The brawler that said his victim didn’t show him respect. The rapist who said she led him on and liked it rough. The wife-beater who told us he had no option but to beat his wife to near-death...
Basically – people used all and every excuse to "explain" how they "had to" do something that they KNEW was illegal, immoral and/or wrong.
It was extremely rare that someone simply raised their had and admitted to their actions and the immorality or "wrongness" of it.

I can't answer your exact question. Getting access to peer-reviewed studies looks pretty expensive to me, so I never looked hard for them. Besides, most articles are based on such small samples that I have a hard time drawing conclusions about anyone but the people in the sample.

If you haven't read NOT "Just Friends" by Shirley Glass, I think you might fond some info there.

It's pretty normal for folks to misinterpret each other. It's easy to turn a 'no for now' into 'never or 'yes' into 'yeas, always'. It's easy to let assumptions get in the way of what a person really wants. It's easy to turn almost any behavior into 'they never loved me', if the rewriter feels bad enough.

My reco is to ask a different question or answer this one: What do you expect academic studies will give you?

I don't think you'll find anything academic on it.

It's obvious on the face of it that a proven liar and deceiver will also lie and deceive about the past. Not sure if that is enough for "court".

Thanks Bigger and Sisoon.

A Pubmed search of moral disengagement + infidelity was close enough,thank you. The search wasn't specific for what I hoped and like Sisoon said there are flaws, but useful. I think posting links is a violation.

I'll look up the Shirley Glass book too.

I've got a bit of an Amber Heard situation where I want to suppliment my VAR files. I want to pose an accepted and studied explanation for why my WW's account should be viewed with some skepticism. Seeing some of the dark triad descriptions in the papers I found was interesting as well.

Suggest you use google advanced search

"rewriting marital history"

should keep you busy for some time!

This0is0Fine, right?! Hopefully a court can recognize the lying nature of the A's in a broader sense.

Hi Anonymous,

I'm assuming that when you refer to "court" you are talking about some sort of divorce hearing. Am I correct? I don't want to rain on your parade or anything, but before you go pouring your energy into into something that may or may not actually be helpful for you, I wanted to ask 2 important things:

1. Do you have a lawyer helping you with your case? I'm guessing no if you are the one doing the research. I say this because the fact that an article is academic or not does not necessarily mean it will be admissible at trial or in a courtroom for the purpose you are hoping, particularly without expert evidence establishing its reliability.

2. Are you in a no-fault jurisdiction? If so, I don't think the court is going to be bothered much by the details of the A or how your wife viewed the marriage (whether she is lying or not) or even that she had the A. In a divorce case, the court is going to be more consumed with things like division of assets and custody issues. If those are the matters you believe she is lying about, you'd be better off providing actual evidence that her 'version' is inaccurate.

** obviously none of this is legal advice and should not be construed as such**

Thanks Emergent,

I do have a lawyer and haven't sent the articles or talked about it yet.

I don't think the court is going to be bothered much by the details of the A or how your wife viewed the marriage (whether she is lying or not) or even that she had the A.

This would be nice

Anonymous,

This is likely a sub-topic in psychology someone has studied.

You might want to look up the psychology of dictators who erase people from photographs, create legendary stories about their origin and youth, eliminate or discredit all opposition, etc.

Or multiple personality studies.

Or Con men and what makes them tick.

Or Gaslighting

Or Histrionic Personality Disorder

Let us know what You find.....

Would be interresting if someone did studies with PET or Functional MRI...