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Jolene - Beyonce

Topic is Sleeping.
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 SacredSoul33 (original poster member #83038) posted at 8:29 PM on Monday, April 1st, 2024

Man, I hate to see whoever she is feeling SO powerful and important to Beyonce. Beyonce! Still talking about her? Hating on her all these years later? Rewriting the lyrics to 'Jolene'? Talk about feeling like you are really hot sh$t in this world because you can get Beyonce so...focused on you and your "good hair," singing to you. Cringe. Geeze. I bet this Becky is strutting around and flipping her hair all over.

I hate seeing Beyonce give her power away like that. The opposite of mattering is, "I'm sorry, but who are you again???? No recollection."

This is why I see it as such a gift of authenticity. Doesn't matter if you're Bey or a regular ol' person, you still have the same experience when betrayed. To admit that to the whole world is brave AF, IMO. She got raw and real for her art. She let us in. Fuck Becky and what she thinks. We're told to not care about Becky, right? So let's really not care. Let's be real.

Gasping for air while volunteering to give others CPR is not heroic.

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1578   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8831686
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Grieving ( member #79540) posted at 8:45 PM on Monday, April 1st, 2024

What Sacred Soul said. I’m honest enough to admit that my husband’s AP hurt me deeply and angered me greatly. I’m not going to waste my time confronting her about it or dwelling on it because that’s not productive, but if she knows that and is out flipping her good hair feeling powerful instead of ashamed of her behavior, that says a whole hell of a lot more about her character than it does about me. Same for Becky.

Also, just because an artist writes/sings a song doesn’t mean they’re feeling what they’re singing about right in that moment. They can draw on past experiences, made up experiences, other people’s experiences, their imagination. . . It’s the nature of art.

Husband had six month affair with co-worker. Found out 7/2020. Married 20 years at that point; two teenaged kids. Reconciling.

posts: 672   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2021
id 8831689
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crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 9:02 PM on Monday, April 1st, 2024

Yeah this song rubs me the wrong way too probably because I felt that way at some point and it didn't matter that I felt that way. Silly me here I thought I was more important than MOW, but when False R hit 2 years later not so much.

I will probably never feel that emboldened again over whoever it is that I am with and I know who is to blame in an A now. Yes the AP is partly to blame but the bulk of the blame is for the WS IMO.

fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24

posts: 8925   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8831693
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Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 10:14 PM on Monday, April 1st, 2024

My theme song is "I can buy my own flowers" BY Miley. Love it! I like Beyonce a lot but I don't like the Country Carter stuff.

"Because I deserve better"

posts: 3731   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2005
id 8831709
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emergent8 ( member #58189) posted at 8:37 PM on Tuesday, April 2nd, 2024

I hate seeing Beyonce give her power away like that.

Nah. Beyonce is the same woman who wrote "Sorry", and "Don’t Hurt Yourself" to her husband when he cheated. Who was publicly ASKED by Dolly Parton to cover the song, and changed the words because she refused to beg. She aint giving away shit. I actually think her willingness to show the slightest hint of vulnerability and relatability (things she is not generally known for, and has not historically been "allowed" for black women) is brave. Vulnerability is powerful. It is the antidote to shame. It helps us relate to one another’s shared experiences. It should be encouraged and we should encourage it.

Also, just because an artist writes/sings a song doesn’t mean they’re feeling what they’re singing about right in that moment. They can draw on past experiences, made up experiences, other people’s experiences, their imagination. . . It’s the nature of art.

For sure. In light of the "I’m still a Creole banjee bitch from Louisiane" lyric, there is actually a theory that she’s actually singing the song from the perspective of her mother (Tina Knowles is actually is from Louisiana, while Beyonce was born in Texas). Beyonce’s father has his own history of infidelity and Beyonce has written about it before. She might also be writing the song in a more general way.

I bet this Becky is strutting around and flipping her hair all over.

It’s unclear whether there was ever a specific "Becky" (with the Good Hair), or whether that line was just a stand in for a "side chick". In another song she wrote "I see them boppers in the corner, they sneaking out the back door" which to me suggests that Jay-Z may have cheated with groupies/status-climbers rather than one specific AP. Regardless though, after all the rabid speculation by her fans in 2016/2017 after Lemonade was released, if I was actually the real Becky and I was publicly told I’m as unimportant as any other desperate groupie, I’d be tucking my ponytail into a cap and donning a disguise hoping that this doesn’t reignite the public witch hunt.

Me: BS. Him: WS.
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
Happily reconciled.

posts: 2169   ·   registered: Apr. 7th, 2017
id 8831833
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 SacredSoul33 (original poster member #83038) posted at 2:55 AM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2024

emergent, would it be weird if I just follow you around and nod in agreement with everything you say? laugh

Gasping for air while volunteering to give others CPR is not heroic.

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

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id 8831890
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emergent8 ( member #58189) posted at 5:33 PM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2024

Sacred, I would be insufferable. laugh

Me: BS. Him: WS.
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
Happily reconciled.

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id 8831957
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 SacredSoul33 (original poster member #83038) posted at 6:15 PM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2024

laugh laugh laugh

Gasping for air while volunteering to give others CPR is not heroic.

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1578   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8831964
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Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 7:06 PM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2024

Wow, I just listened to it and it’s great!!! I don’t not have much hatred for the AP (a stranger in a bar) he reached out and apologized to me after Dday and promised to never speak to her again, he kept his word.

I know my W is remorseful, hates infidelity, and has helped others that stood at the slippery slope. But, what I have a hard time with is knowing she had EA’s with married men. When I see the BW’s here struggling to survive infidelity I can not forgive her for hurting other women, it’s not mine to forgive.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3616   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8831971
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 SacredSoul33 (original poster member #83038) posted at 7:33 PM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2024

That's one thing I never had to deal with: An OBS. I don't know if H picked single women deliberately to reduce his chances of discovery, or if that's just the way it worked out.

I don't know if I've ever thought about that before - how I would feel about the OBS.

Gasping for air while volunteering to give others CPR is not heroic.

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1578   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8831976
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Vocalion ( member #82921) posted at 9:13 PM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2024

To Tanners point regarding lack of hatred towards his WW's AP, I can only state that I cannot be that phlegmatic about the actions of my WW's AP who was a suave " player " from a privileged background who enjoyed routinely identifying and taking advantage of vulnerabilities in attractive younger women, nurses under his charge as a senior surgeon at a hospital where HR were either afraid of challenging doctors or were asleep on the job.Yes..my anger and indignation were directed against my cheating wife, but if you realize that infidelity is a form of emotional and potentially physical aabuse, then the AP is by definition a co-conspirator in the abuse you suffer and consequences should at the very minimum include the professional and societal opprobrium, not limited to informing the OBS. None of which I was able to do since her AP died of an aggressive form of prostate cancer at an early age. Karma did an effective job, but would I have preferred to put a big stick in the spokes of his lecherous this.. Sure.. but I'll settle for the outcome that occurred.

When she says you're the only one she'll ever love, and you find out, that you're not the one she's thinking of,That's when you're learning the game.Charles Hardin ( Buddy) Holly...December 1958

posts: 382   ·   registered: Feb. 22nd, 2023   ·   location: San Diego
id 8831989
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HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 9:38 PM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2024

I love Dolly,but never could get behind "Jolene." No wife should ever beg a woman to stay away from her husband. She should never empower the OW.

Not a fan of Beyonce. Her husband is a serial cheater, and there are rumors that he had one of his mistresses killed.

But, Miley's "I can buy myself Flowers?" That's a great song, with a great message.

But you are what you did
And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive
The smallest man who ever lived..

posts: 6819   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: The Midwest
id 8831992
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 SacredSoul33 (original poster member #83038) posted at 9:57 PM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2024

there are rumors that he had one of his mistresses killed.

That's some Illuminati type stuff right there! Color me skeptical. It's hard to know what's real and what's made up to garner attention, launch careers (I'm looking at you, Kim K), and get clicks. It's pretty clear that he cheated, but it also seems like they've had some therapy and reconciled well. Who knows. I don't really care a whole lot about the backstory. I just like the song.

[This message edited by SacredSoul33 at 9:59 PM, Wednesday, April 3rd]

Gasping for air while volunteering to give others CPR is not heroic.

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1578   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8831993
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HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 10:03 PM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2024

Oh, I'm not saying the rumors are true. Just that there are rumors.

When it comes to most celebrities, I don't really have much of an opinion on them.

But you are what you did
And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive
The smallest man who ever lived..

posts: 6819   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: The Midwest
id 8831995
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 SacredSoul33 (original poster member #83038) posted at 10:13 PM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2024

When it comes to most celebrities, I don't really have much of an opinion on them.

Smart policy. It's darn near impossible to know what's real. So many people went nuts with Princess Kate rumors and look how that went. tongue

Gasping for air while volunteering to give others CPR is not heroic.

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1578   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8831999
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OnTheOtherSideOfHell ( member #82983) posted at 11:40 PM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2024

I love Dolly Parton and Jolene. I hate that Beyoncé changed and butchered it. Of course I kind of loathe all things Beyoncé so 🤷‍♀️. The original Jolene song was written during a time when women had less opportunity and therefore choices when being cheated on. Divorce often would have left them poor without a career and frowned upon by society as a divorce’. It’s a great reminder of how far women have come. 👊

posts: 255   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2023   ·   location: SW USA
id 8832012
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HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 11:46 PM on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2024

Beyonce did give Dolly full credit for the lyrics to this new song..and from what I've read, that means Dolly will receive "any and all songwriting royalties will go to Dolly. "

[This message edited by HellFire at 11:48 PM, Wednesday, April 3rd]

But you are what you did
And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive
The smallest man who ever lived..

posts: 6819   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: The Midwest
id 8832015
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 SacredSoul33 (original poster member #83038) posted at 2:04 AM on Thursday, April 4th, 2024

Yes, Dolly made a comment a couple of years ago:

During a 2022 interview with "The Daily Show," Parton was asked about the hundreds of cover versions of her 1973 country classic "Jolene" and the one artist yet to record the song who Parton hoped would do so, Beyoncé.

"I don’t know if she’s even got the message, but wouldn’t that be killer? I think she’s fantastic and beautiful and I love her music." Parton said. "I would just love to hear ‘Jolene’ done in just a big way, kind of like how Whitney [Houston] did my ‘I Will Always Love You.’ Someone that could take my little songs and make ’em like powerhouses. That would be a marvelous day in my life if she ever does ‘Jolene."

Dolly also speaks the intro on the album. smile Shes got Bey’s back.

Gasping for air while volunteering to give others CPR is not heroic.

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1578   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8832041
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OwningItNow ( member #52288) posted at 3:13 AM on Thursday, April 4th, 2024

People should feel what they feel, but some things just don't line up for me personally.

Co-conspirator? Hellz no. They are not "co" anything. Yuck.

OW are nothings. Could-have-been-anyones. Place holders. Blow up dolls.

That being said, I have never been in a fight in my life and I'm 50. Never even made a real fist or hit anything. I win by living my best life every single time, so you can eat my dust. I will never let you see the pain you caused.

Miley's "Flowers" all the way. But whatever song rocks your feelings, you should embrace it. Music is a helpful outlet.

me: BS/WS h: WS/BS

Reject the rejector. Do not reject yourself.

posts: 5908   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2016   ·   location: Midwest
id 8832045
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 SacredSoul33 (original poster member #83038) posted at 3:29 PM on Thursday, April 4th, 2024

I will never let you see the pain you caused.

I ascribe to this too. I never let AP see me sweat, but I do have the thoughts that Beyonce has shared in the lyrics.

I'm making an assumption, but none of us commenting here are giant celebrities who had the effects of our partner's infidelity play out in front of the world. Bey did. Most artists use their experience in their art, and thank god for that vulnerability.

But whatever song rocks your feelings, you should embrace it. Music is a helpful outlet.

Agreed!

Co-conspirator? Hellz no. They are not "co" anything. Yuck.

I agree that that could have been anyone - in the beginning - but then they become the co-conspirator. They're participating in the deception against us. They're keeping secrets so that the A can continue.

I've never been in a fight either. Ever. I joke that getting in a bar fight is on my bucket list. laugh (I'm just kidding, universe!)

Gasping for air while volunteering to give others CPR is not heroic.

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1578   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8832091
Topic is Sleeping.
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