Topic is Sleeping.
WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 10:00 AM on Wednesday, November 8th, 2023
My soul sister, Maggie May, had a grand mal seizure a couple of hours ago. I got her to the emergency vet, and they filled her with all types of medication’s. But nothing would quiet her. I guess I was right about her sleep disturbances… She would kick her feet and cry out but I thought it was dreams, because when I would reach over and touch her and talk to her she would take a deep breath and go right back to sleep
The vet told me that it was a bad sign that she had such a high fever and a bad sign that they couldn’t get her to stop seizing, even with propofol, and anti convulsive meds. She told me it would be $4500 for her to stay overnight. She told me that she was very concerned about her and assumed that it would take a neurologist, MRIs, and all types of intervention to even diagnose what is the cause of the seizures. She said that her recommendation was to put her down.
I just don’t have that kind of money. I don’t know if they could’ve helped her. But I just didn’t have that kind of money, especially with my H’s health situation being so precarious. I felt so helpless. So they put her down. She was so miserable. So very miserable. I made sure she could smell my hands and feel me and hear me when it happened.
Now I don’t know where to sleep, because Maggie slept with me every single night at my feet and sometimes around my shoulders. Sometimes she would sit up and lean on the back of the couch, and lay her head to the side on the back of the couch. So I would sit up with her and I would lay my head off the back of the couch and we would just sit there and stare at each other.
There have been some really tough times lately, and she was the one that was getting me through it. Just before her seizure hit, she pooped in the floor and I fussed at her really bad and sent her outside. When I went to the door 10 minutes later to let her back in, I noticed that she was shaking all over. She could hardly walk and she was hyperventilating. I wonder if my fussing at her triggered the seizure.
We rushed her to the emergency vet, but they just could not quiet the seizure.
Honestly don’t know what I’m gonna do without her. She would’ve been two years old on Valentine’s Day.
"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt
I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy
Superesse ( member #60731) posted at 12:11 PM on Wednesday, November 8th, 2023
Oh No, WhatsRight. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling about this, and only 2? Sad, sad. Not sure if she was a canine or feline, but I think the pooping was a symptom of whatever was going on within her body, not a random act (I know you have been picking up poops from pups but...)
Not long before we lost our old boy he would poop in the house without even asking to go out. Very unlike him and it happened a couple times. At that time, I thought it was due to old age but looking back, it was nearing the end of his journey; he had a tumor we didn't know about.
I am so sorry for your new loss. ((((WhatsRight))))
DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 12:35 PM on Wednesday, November 8th, 2023
I'm so very sorry for your loss WhatsRight. My heart aches for you. Please don't feel badly for fussing. You had no idea this would happen and anything could have triggered the seizure.
She's at peace now.
Hugs
Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.
zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 12:44 PM on Wednesday, November 8th, 2023
I'm so sorry you lost your little buddy.
(((WR)))
"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."
D-day April 2010
MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 1:27 PM on Wednesday, November 8th, 2023
I'm so sorry about your beautiful girl. I don't know what I would do without mine, you must be hurting terribly.
Please don't beat yourself up about the poo incident. She knew your love and loved you to the end. You did your best for her and there was nothing more you could have done.
Sending hugs.
WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 2:55 PM on Wednesday, November 8th, 2023
I am so so very sorry. This is one of the most difficult things we go through, losing long-time pets. You did the right thing because it sounds like she was in a lot ofo pain. We never want them to leave us but we also do not want them in pain.
((((((((( Whatsright )))))))
"Because I deserve better"
SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 4:36 PM on Wednesday, November 8th, 2023
I'm so very sorry, WR. Not even two yet - she was just a baby.
I'm sure you didn't trigger her seizure. I bet pooping on the floor was one of the first signs that a seizure was imminent. And like others have said, she knew how much you loved her.
Big hugs.
Gasping for air while volunteering to give others CPR is not heroic.
Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.
WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 4:52 PM on Wednesday, November 8th, 2023
Thank you all.
I depended on her for so much. I don’t know how I’m going to get through the days without her.
Tonight my granddaughter will be coming to spend the night and I will take her to school tomorrow. Her mom has to take someone to the hospital really early tomorrow morning. I really hate for her to see me so upset, I don’t know how to avoid it. She has been through so much lately… PHAPA flareup, RSV, impetigo, and a stomach flu. Now having to see me like this.
"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt
I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 5:03 PM on Wednesday, November 8th, 2023
WR— I am so so sorry. My last cat was only 4 when I lost her — a huge growth on her adrenal gland. I spent $5000 I didn’t have trying to keep her alive and I ended up having to put her down. With hindsight, I see I should have let her go sooner. That week was torture for her. I hope you find peace in your decision with time. You did the right thing.
There are pet grief support groups online — look for one. It’s true grief and it hurts for a long long time. Be gentle with yourself for your pain and loss and grief. RIP Maggie May.
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 11:29 PM on Wednesday, November 8th, 2023
And I love that she was named Maggie May.
There will be a huge void for a long time with her gone. I still feel that void from losing my big boy Golden Retriever. Sometimes I felt like he knew me better than I knew myself. I know this is a very tough time for you. Maybe the Granddaughter will help take your mind off your loss for a while.
"Because I deserve better"
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 11:32 PM on Wednesday, November 8th, 2023
I'm so sorry. Do t feel bad. Nothing you did caused this. The fact that she had an accident just before it was an indicator something was awry. She may even have had one prior to you finding the accident.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 11:42 PM on Wednesday, November 8th, 2023
I am truly sorry that you are going through this. Enjoy your time with your gandbaby. It will help you focus on something else. The grief when we lose our pets is real and hard. Cried over my Miss Lucy today when I was changing the cat box. Long story.
Anyway do not feel guilty. Fever and seizures was something not fixable. The vet gave you all the options and the most appropriate path was taken.
Hugs dear lady.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 11:49 PM on Wednesday, November 8th, 2023
Sometimes I felt like he knew me better than I knew myself.
This is exactly how I felt with Maggie. So many wonderful things about her.
She could go from big-time heavy duty rough and tough wrestling with a sister, and then be as gentle as can be with the mini dachshund.
She could get me in a better mood just by looking at me with her ears perked up, although they were still flopped over, And she would just stare at me like she was forcing me to lighten up and play with her. Then I would look back at her and I would squint my eyes a little and tilt my head and she would start barking playfully.
She also did this "Waaahhhoow when I would look at her certain ways or play a certain game with her. It was as if she were talking.
Whenever I left the room, she followed me. And if I couldn’t let her follow me, for example if I was going to help my husband, I would shut the door and I would have to block it. We have levers for all of our door knobs for my husband, and she could push the lever down and open the door.
Sometimes, especially if I was having a bad day, she would just start looking at me, and so we would just sit and look into each other‘s eyes for a little while. It was amazing. There is no real closeness with my husband at this point, and my two adult sons that live with me come and go, so no real comroddery there. So she was very much keeping me going.
It was just all so very fast. I can’t hardly catch my breath.
I won’t go on and on… You get the message. I’m sure all of your precious dogs/cats have the same kind of wonderful things that show their personality in their understanding / love of you.
Jeanie, what was your Golden’s name?
"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt
I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy
HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 1:37 AM on Thursday, November 9th, 2023
I won’t go on and on…
No. Tell us stories about her. Talk about how wonderful she was. Go on,and on. It's ok.
But you are what you did
And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive
The smallest man who ever lived..
Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 1:53 AM on Thursday, November 9th, 2023
Sending ((virtual hugs))
So very sorry about your loss.
Pet loss is such hard stuff.
"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!
deena04 ( member #41741) posted at 3:24 AM on Thursday, November 9th, 2023
Pets are our babies. I am so sorry for your loss.
Me FBS 40s, Him XWS older than me (lovemywife4ever), D, He cheated before M, forgot to tell me. I’m free and loving life.
Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 1:48 PM on Thursday, November 9th, 2023
Whatsruggt, my Big Boy Golden Retriever was named Otis. He LOVED the times I'd do yardwork. He had special shade trees he'd move to so he'd always have a view of me on the mower. I think he mostly liked the fact I was outside as he loved to be outside. He was so gentle with the outside barn cats. Once a stray cat showed up, very pregnant, and he seemed to watch over her and when the kittens were starting to get playful, they would climb all over him on the front porch and end up taking naps all in his fur. He was such a gentle giant. He passed away at home, simply of old age. He was 15 and had not had a lot of health issues. He is buried under his favorite shade tree and I have two chairs and a metal bench to mark 'his spot.' I often sit out there and just talk to him and feel like he's listening. It feels like he's still with me. He was the neighborhood 'ambassador' and all the neighbors loved him. He was my second big Golden Retriever and the one before him had the same personality. He lived to be 13 and his name was Tyler. After losing otis, I rescued two tiny doggies -- a miniature long-haired chihuahua and a small Chiweenie, a bonded pair. Otis would have loved these little dogs. I decided not to get another Golden. The loses of Tyler and Otis was just so sad.
"Because I deserve better"
Superesse ( member #60731) posted at 1:08 AM on Friday, November 10th, 2023
WR, how're you holding up?
Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 3:55 AM on Friday, November 10th, 2023
Whatsright, I went out to the resting place of Otis today and told him about Maggie May. He will look out for her at the Rainbow Bridge.
"Because I deserve better"
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 8:07 PM on Friday, November 10th, 2023
Aww dangit Jeannie now I'm crying. Ugly crying. Lucy girl will meet them there too.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
Topic is Sleeping.