I called my girlfriend to let her know I was heading home and that I intended to drop off our daughter at my brother's place. I explained that we needed to have a talk once I returned. She asked what it was about, to which I responded, "You know what it's about. I'll be back home soon, and we can discuss it then." She attempted to play dumb and tried asking more questions, claiming she didn't understand, but I chose to end the call at that point.
I arrived home and had a conversation with my daughter, letting her know that we wouldn't be doing anything that evening but reassured her that I'd make it up to her this week. I mentioned that I was planning to take her to my brother's place, and she agreed.
However, my girlfriend asked why our daughter needed to go. I explained to her that there were certain things we couldn't discuss in front of our daughter. Her face turned white, and I assured her that I wouldn't be away for too long.
When I returned home, I asked her if there was anything she wanted to share about anything from the past nine months. She responded, "Why are you behaving like this?"
I then mentioned the name of the OM involved and said I knew that she had been seeing him for the past nine months. I explained that there was no reason for her to deny it since I already knew everything.
She became emotional and continued to deny much of what I was saying. She even offered me her phone to check for evidence of an affair, but I declined, explaining that it wasn't the phone she had used. My response took her aback, but I told her that I already knew the truth and told her not to waste her time because I didn't care, as I knew all I needed to know and we wouldn't be staying together.
During the next few hours, we went in circles, with her telling me she hadn't done anything and me telling her that I didn't care and I knew she had and we wouldn't be staying together. She eventually admitted to the affair, not fully admitting it, as I know she is still lying; she said that it had ended and that she hadn't seen or spoken to him in two weeks. She was crying, begging for a second chance. She also attempted to explain that I had been away frequently and that she had been lonely.
I pointed out that I had also been away from her but had remained faithful. I emphasised that I didn't want this separation; it was her actions that had caused it, and she had destroyed not one but two families for what she had done. I told her I loved her and explained that she had hurt me, but we couldn't stay together.
She broke down, and I couldn't make out her words. Eventually, she told me she was willing to do whatever it took to keep us together. She suggested returning to counselling and promised to answer any questions I had. I responded by explaining that I'd wasted enough time talking about it because I didn't need to know everything and had made up my mind to end our relationship.
I made it clear that I wasn't the one responsible for this; it was her actions that led us here. I told her it wasn't me who did this; it was you, and you think this is what I want; you think I want to tell you these things; do you really think I want to separate? I love you, and you did this to me. You knew this would happen if you ever cheated, and you did it anyway.
I asked about our daughter and if she intended to prevent me from seeing her if we separated. She was surprised, asking why I would even think that. She told me she would never keep her away from me.
I told her she knew exactly what she would be making me feel, and yet, despite all the pain and suffering your ex-husband put you through, you chose to repeat the same choices with me. I cannot and will not forgive you for what you've done to me. The sooner you come to terms with this, the sooner we can both move forward.
I had no choice but to leave; she wouldn't hear me out. She just kept repeating the same things over and over again. I called my brother and asked if he would take my daughter home and make sure my ex-GF was okay. I would be staying at a hotel for a few more nights until I felt like going back.
Maybe I sound cruel in this post and seem like I don't love my girlfriend, but I assure you, I still do, and I believe I will for a long time, but I can't stay with her.