Topic is Sleeping.
Beagle (original poster member #79560) posted at 4:19 PM on Saturday, May 21st, 2022
So if you read my posts you know my story is ugly. I was trying to R with my WW and gave it about 6 months and wasn’t satisfied and couldn’t come to terms with what happened. Asked for A D on April 23. So far we have split our finances , came to many agreements and are working with a mediator.
I learned today that my WW has opened a dating profile on match. account. I was kind of taken a back but it reaffirms to me that I made the right decision.
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 4:36 PM on Saturday, May 21st, 2022
Yeah, it sounds like you made the right decision for you.
Sounds like she's not interested in healing or working on herself to be a better person. She's going to take all of her stuff into whatever relationship she has.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
TurnedTurtle ( member #65603) posted at 5:40 PM on Saturday, May 21st, 2022
Less than one month, wow!
Are you two still living together, or have you physically separated already?
I guess some people, when they know it is done, it's DONE...
"Secrets have a cost, they're not free, not now, not ever!"
Beagle (original poster member #79560) posted at 7:18 PM on Saturday, May 21st, 2022
Beagle (original poster member #79560) posted at 7:19 PM on Saturday, May 21st, 2022
ChamomileTea ( Moderator #53574) posted at 8:36 PM on Saturday, May 21st, 2022
How did you find out? If she told you up front or made it easy for you to find, it could be that she's testing your resolve regarding the impending divorce. You know, checking to see if you still get jealous so that maybe you'll think twice.
BW: 2004(online EAs), 2014 (multiple PAs)
Married 40 years; in R with fWH for 8
Beagle (original poster member #79560) posted at 10:37 PM on Saturday, May 21st, 2022
Browser. I wouldn’t say I am jealous but you are probably right. She is also friending s lot of random men on Facebook . It hurts a bit but I know that the show must go on. I can’t believe that she is already looking and the divorce isn’t even done. It is what I wanted though and what I need. For me I know I am not in a place to even consider dating as I am so damaged and trying to work on me.
DailyGratitude ( member #79494) posted at 5:33 AM on Sunday, May 22nd, 2022
It baffles my mind how some people (mostly cheaters) can move on so easily.
Beagle: I think you are doing the right thing. Your spouse doesn’t sound like she was deeply attached to you. I wish you strength, resolve, and hope for a peaceful future.
Me: BW mid 50’sHim: WH late 50’sMarrried 25 yearsDday: EA 2002 PA 9/2021Divorce 10/2021 (per wh’s request) WH left to be with AP
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 8:19 AM on Sunday, May 22nd, 2022
She will soon be someone else’s problem. Poor guy.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 10 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
barcher144 ( member #54935) posted at 3:24 PM on Sunday, May 22nd, 2022
This might seem harsh.
You need to detach. Your marriage/relationship is over and she can do whatever she wants and you have no right to have an opinion about what she is doing any longer. I know that it's difficult to shut off those feelings and the hurt, but that's what you need to do going forward.
In the meantime, I would consider it good news that she is moving on and trying to find new guys. You want her to get her attention from people other than you. You want her distracted.
You need to focus on yourself, your new life (without her), and your healing.
Me: Crap, I'm 50 years old. D-Day: August 30, 2016. Two years of false reconciliation. Divorce final: Feb 1, 2021. Re-married: December 3, 2022.
devotedman ( member #45441) posted at 5:15 PM on Sunday, May 22nd, 2022
Beagle, she's not like you and I. When we have a need like hunger or sleep we sate the need by eating or sleeping.
She has a need for attention, approval, control, something... that requires male attention to fill. That's what she's doing. Filling that need.
That's who she is. That isn't what you want.
Me: 2xBS b 1962 xWW after 2 decades, xWGF after almost 1.
Amelia Pond: Who are you?
The Doctor: I don't know yet. I'm still cooking.
ENFP-A. Huh.
Beagle (original poster member #79560) posted at 5:56 PM on Sunday, May 22nd, 2022
Yeah I really just need to not worry about it at this point. She wasn’t the person I thought she was which is a hard pill to swallow. I feel naive in a way. I always try to find the good in people and I am starting to realize how fucked up some people are.
I need to focus on me, my healing , and being the best person I can be for myself and my children.
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 9:53 PM on Sunday, May 22nd, 2022
She’s just someone you used to know. She’s NOT the person you married. She has be one something else.
Insecurity and fear may be her driving factors / she’s not able to live in her own without a BF blah blah blah.
I can tell you something even worse. My friend was married to a serial cheating narc. They had a very unfortunate death in the family. Devastating death. Found out 2 days after the death the spouse was putting up Profiles on dating websites. Posting as "single" while still married.
It’s no reflection on anyone but the cheater.
As I said - your STBXW is now someone else’s problem. Poor guy.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 10 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
Topic is Sleeping.
