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Newest Member: chickenchicken

Just Found Out :
Needing Some Help, My Wife Cheated

Topic is Sleeping.
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WonderingGhost ( member #81060) posted at 8:23 PM on Friday, February 10th, 2023

How are you doing @CameronL?

posts: 110   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2022
id 8777167
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Popshack ( new member #82854) posted at 1:50 PM on Saturday, February 11th, 2023

BS ONLY

[This message edited by SI Staff at 4:14 AM, Sunday, February 12th]

posts: 15   ·   registered: Feb. 9th, 2023   ·   location: Minnesota
id 8777279
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ChamomileTea ( Moderator #53574) posted at 3:09 PM on Saturday, February 11th, 2023

Have your paternity results come back, OP?

[This message edited by SI Staff at 3:12 PM, Saturday, February 11th]

BW: 2004(online EAs), 2014 (multiple PAs); Married 40 years; in R with fWH for 10

posts: 7073   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 8777290
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SI Staff ( Moderator #10) posted at 3:12 PM on Saturday, February 11th, 2023

PM for you, Popshack.

posts: 10034   ·   registered: May. 30th, 2002
id 8777292
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emergent8 ( Guide #58189) posted at 7:45 PM on Friday, February 17th, 2023

You still around CameronL? How are you holding up?

Me: BS. Him: WS.
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
Happily reconciled.

posts: 2169   ·   registered: Apr. 7th, 2017
id 8778307
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englishname ( new member #80553) posted at 9:33 PM on Sunday, February 19th, 2023

As a Christian, you may already know that adultery is one of the few, if not the only, reasons that would allow you to divorce. A hint of that can be found in Matthew 19:9. There must be a very good reason why God allows a divorce in cases of adultery but nothing else (at least in light of this verse).

Your relationship with her will never be the same, as many people have said here. This is because the past can't be erased. You could forgive her and decide to try again but it will never be the same relationship, but a new one, a forever tainted one.
From what I've read over the years, it seems that in many cases reconciliation doesn't work well, yet sometimes it does even though, again, it's not the same relationship that it used to be.

I can't tell you what to do, that's your decision to make. But at least I'd like you to ask yourself... do you really want to spend the rest of your life with not only a cheater, but a liar?
I'd be much more at ease with it if she came clean straight away but she didn't, she lied to you until caught and then kept lying until you pressured her enough. Do you really think that will never happen again, based on all the things she said and how she handled the whole situation?
I personally, wouldn't even think of reconciliation in this case. Another reason for what I just said, is that, at least from how you wrote it, you were the first to tell her what you wanted her to do if reconciliation was an option, it wasn't her (correct me if I'm wrong but your writing suggests that). She couldn't even give you an answer right then when you asked her a very simple and straight question. Yes, she was in the fog so there's that, but still... there was a long time for her to think of what she was doing, it wasn't just one single drunken episode.

I wish you the best as someone who has been there as a BS, I hope you'll make the right and best decision for yourself. God bless.

posts: 3   ·   registered: Aug. 14th, 2022
id 8778514
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CommonLeadership48 ( new member #79928) posted at 2:08 AM on Monday, February 27th, 2023

Brother, your wife is not simply cheating; she is betraying your trust and your marriage. You KNOW she's having sex with this man, coming home and showering to wash away the sin. You also know that baby is not yours. You may continue to threaten her with lie-detector tests or other forms of tests, but you already know the facts. The one indisputable fact is she has walked away from your marriage and she continues to lie about almost everything. Why? The only reason I can see is that she needs you to support her new life. The longer you support her, the worse it will be. Do you really want to do this to yourself?

posts: 18   ·   registered: Feb. 13th, 2022   ·   location: TN
id 8779544
Topic is Sleeping.
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