First let me just ask a question, you can’t forgive a kiss, but can you forgive her for giving the guy a hand job?
How many adults do you know that have any type of relationship, that settle for just getting or giving a hand job to their lover?
I’m sorry to tell you, but no, they did not just stop at a kiss or a hand job.
If you want the truth, tell her that you have scheduled a polygraph for her. The expression on her face should tell you all that you really need to know. But I’m suspecting that sometime between the moment you tell her and the morning she walked into The office to have the polygraph, she will sit you down and tell you a few things to "clarify "a few of her previous statements. And I’m sorry, it’s not just going to be a kiss and a hand job.
I have said multiple times That a marriage or relationship is like a stool in. that it is built on three legs. If one of those legs were to break, the whole thing is trashed!!
Those three things are
Love
Respect
Trust
Love:
No one who loves another person could ever cheat on their loved ones. Do you think she was having lovely thoughts of you and your child as she is stroking this POS? Do you think that she was daydreaming of your honeymoon as she is making out with him?
Respect
She certainly doesn’t respect you at all. And the sad thing is is that the longer you allow her to stay around, the less she respects you. Because if you do let her stay around, and she has another affair, or, more likely, She goes back to this POS but they just do a better job of hiding the relationship, all she has to do is cry some tears, beg for your forgiveness, and tell you that it was a mistake that she never actually had sex with him, and that she’ll never do it again, and you will allow her to stay yet again.
Do you think she respected you by telling you all of those lies to hide the affair?
Do you think she respected you when she was intentionally distancing herself from you?
Trust
You will never trust her again.
Anytime that she is 5 to 10 minutes late for something, you will be wondering what guys backseat she is in giving a blow job or a hand job too. When you do make love to her, will you trust that when she closes her eyes, she is imagining images of you and her together and not her and her lover?
I’m sorry, but in your marriage those three pillars that are holding up a marriage are all destroyed, and they were destroyed by her.
If you had not discovered the affair, would she still be with him?
I strongly advise that you move forward with that polygraph, and get your child DNA tested. Your child probably is biologically yours, however just the fact that you demand that that test be given, sends a very strong message to the fact that you do not trust her at all.
Find out if this guy has a wife or girlfriend. If he does, you need to tell her, as she not only has a right to know the man that she is seeing is really like, but also she will be your best ally in finding out if the affair is still going on, and the extent of the affair.
As for your child, what is better for them? Living in a house where there is always tension and parents are constantly snapping at each other and making snide remarks, or living at two places, each with a living parent that has a lot LESS tension? Kids ALWAYS know when things are bad.
I wish you nothing but the best.
Good luck, stay strong, and do what you must to be able to look the man in the mirror in the eye every day.
And finally, refuse to be anybody’s Plan B.