SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I apologize in advance since I only read about half the responses before I hit reply.

You've done a good thing. Despite what everyone thinks, feels or hopes, you cannot control your sister. Don't bother trying. Not a single BS here was able to control their WS. You are no different. You could have played this like chess and been steps ahead of her and you know what? You still wouldn't have one bit of control over what she does.

You did what you felt was right. And it was the right thing to do.

I do worry about your parent's and the business. It might have been more strategic - from the business side of things - to tell your Dad and let him protect his assets. You can still do that.

But otherwise, you have handled an extremely sensitive, crazy situation as best you can. You love your sister and you are giving her the opportunity to do the right thing. What she chooses to do with that is in no way within your control (no matter how strategically one might think they would have handled this emotionally devastating situation) and in no way reflects on you. You acted with love and integrity.

What she chooses to do with that gift is on her.

I hope you are doing ok.

Just wanted to Echo TheEnds post.

I know from experience how intimidating this place can be, even if what everyone is saying is "right".

None of this is OPs fault, however, and coming on here was very brave. If it takes her time to do anything that I don't feel she should be badgered for it. This is the fault of her sister and POSOM, so even though she now has knowledge of it, should not beat herself up if anything untoward happens. She is caught in crossfire.

I fear she may have been scared away, but I hope not. OP - please continue posting, take what you need and leave the rest. I hope you are doing OK in what must be a very difficult time.

Ozzy, no one is tell OP it's her fault if something horrible happens. The sister is trying to minimize her own actions and manipulate OP into thinking the consequences of OP telling BIL and her father about the affair are worse than the consequences of the sister having the affair in the first place. We are simply giving OP the reality of the situation.

Also, the phrase "take what you need and leave the rest" is used on this forum often, but my interpretation was always "follow the advice that's most applicable to and useful for your situation." It doesn't or shouldn't mean "ignore all the comments with which you disagree or that make you slightly uncomfortable."

Doing the right thing is often much more challenging and painful than doing nothing. But that doesn't mean it isn't worth it.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I know no one is saying that, but reading this thread I was just concerned that OP might read it that way. Subtle difference I know, and hopefully OP isn't taking it that way, but just her absence is suddenly noticeable.

And I certainly agree with your other points.

T/J..

Ozzy...I was thinking of you this morning, and wondering how you were doing. I said I wouldn't post on your thread, so I didn't bother looking for it, to ask you. I hope you give an update soon.

@HF appreciate the thought. I have been lurking in the background, making the occasional comment, but mostly reading other people's situations and applying the advice given as it would apply to me.

Plan on a full update in the new year but think we are out of the woods after a rollercoaster ride.

Hope you are doing OK.

Apologies for t/j OP.

Any updates Blove?

Blove - are you still lurking here? I am interested in how this all panned out. Was thinking about this thread and feel you may have felt intimidated. You were stuck in an impossible situation that was not of your making at all so I hope you are doing OK.