SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Has anyone done this. WH is trying to do all the right things. He had an EA and is trying to be incredibly supportive. We are in MC and IC. He has opened up like I've never seen in the 10 years of marriage. He swore it was just an EA, flirty texts and a few bar hang outs. This past weekend he really took to heart that I had questions and openly talked about everything. He is trying, but I still have questions. I was so hurt and angry when I found out that I wanted to explore all options so I did seek advice from a lawyer. Basically, because I'm the breadwinner and carry the benefits I could be the one that has to pay him alimony and he could kill my retirement because he doesn't have one. Yea for being the default parent and breadwinner! I'm just 2 months out from finding all of this out so I still have moments of sadness, anxiety and anger. In my angry stage I really want to pursue a post nuptial agreement. I won't deal with the lies again. I'm willing to try for the sake our our children and family but I also want to protect myself and my kids. Curious if anyone has gone this route.

There are some members who did a post-nup. They aren't legal in my state, so it wasn't an option for me.

I did a post nup. It states should we D for any reason I am entitled to X Y and Z.

It does not state if we D due to infidelity. This way it is always in full force and effect no matter what.

And should you decide to D him for any reason, even 10 years from now, the agreement is still valid.

Second you will not have to pay him alimony forever. While it might be challenging you could give him an asset close to the value of "alimony" and not lose out on the revenue side.

There are ways to make it Al work - if you can mediate and decide thing between you without lawyers involved.