Rereading my posts, I see that that I haven’t painted the best picture of my situation. I was really pissed and in a bad place yesterday.
The A ended about 14 months ago with DDAY2/WW confessing to everything. DDAY 1 was about 20 months ago where I discovered evidence that her and AP had been way way to close. Truth was it was full blown A by the time I found evidence and had been for about 4 months prior.
For the most part everything has been laid out, but there have been a few inconsistencies. She admitted to making vids and what they were back on DDAY 2, but it was framed as it all happened prior to dday 1. Some other things didn’t add up and I asked her again about when/where yesterday and that is when I found out that when she restarted the PA (and I know she restarted that aspect) was filmed by AP. And
To give her credit she is trying to make this right and be a safe partner, I was just really angry about the new information, especially this late past dday2.
I have no evidence that she has contacted AP after 2, and we have moved since then so I know she hasn’t seen him. Plus she did the whole tracking/360 thing and I have few other things in place so I know she hasn’t seen him.
As far as trying to R, she really has been trying hard to fix herself and fix this mess she put us in.
I built my own timeline off of everything I put together, which at the time I thought was good enough, but now I’ve demanded that she gives me a full detailed breakdown.
Sission,
D isn’t ideal, i have made peace that it may happen, and I have made many plans and have everything in place if I do. I do well enough that it won’t be the worst thing financially, but I sure as hell will be sad about not being with my kids plus the effects it will have on them. I am not in R for my kids, but they are a huge factor.
Crazyblind,
I’m not letting my guard down, as she already did the whole false R once and said all of the right things, cried, told me she would never hurt me again etc. words are meaningless still, only her consistent actions have made me less wary. I have many tools in place so that if she strays again I will know.
Truthfully I made this post because I was in a bad place and just needed to vent to people who actually understand this awful situation