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Divorce/Separation :
Divorce Coach, did you use one?

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Iwantmyglasses (original poster member #57205) posted at 4:23 PM on Monday, April 4th, 2022

Good morning,

Please let me know if you used a divorce coach and if you would recommend one.

Every week his emotions are all over the place. I am getting very nervous and upset. Last week he was cutting me and kids off financially. "We would have an EPIC, EPIC EPIC divorce" "YOU lit the fuse".

Today that conversation last week occurred because I had a tone about going to my Moms.

"Things are going to go well as long as Glasses is nice". Plus other odd conversations.

This is not a matter of two people getting a divorce and saying how horrible the other person is. I have spent twenty years catering to his mood swings and I am feeling very nervous.

I do have a wonderful IC

Thank you!

[This message edited by Iwantmyglasses at 4:24 PM, Monday, April 4th]

posts: 3053   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2017   ·   location: USA
id 8727947
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keptmyword ( member #35526) posted at 10:04 PM on Thursday, April 7th, 2022

I’m not sure what you mean by a Divorce Coach.

I’ve never heard of that.

From what you have described, it sounds like your STBXWH is emotionally abusive and trying to intimidate you into accepting everything on his terms only.

Whatever a divorce coach is, I wouldn’t worry about it.

It sounds like you need an aggressive, bull dog divorce lawyer who will aggressively represent and defend you from your husband’s threats and intimidation.

Your STBXWH needs to feel some major pushback from you and know that you are not going to accept being pushed around or intimidated.

A good divorce attorney will know how to deal with your husband’s bullshit and give you some power and peace of mind.

It has nothing to do with you.

Filed for and proceeded with divorce.

posts: 1230   ·   registered: May. 4th, 2012
id 8728555
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 3:05 AM on Friday, April 8th, 2022

I haven't heard of a Divorce Coach, but imagine it's like a Life Coach but specializes in helping people through divorce. If so, it may be helpful because they'll have knowledge you don't have or give you pointers on things you didn't consider.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3735   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8728597
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 4:11 AM on Friday, April 8th, 2022

I have heard of a divorce coach.
I had one session a friend arranged with someone like that and it helped me a lot.

I could have used a divorce doula (if there was such a thing). There are things that a ws can make so hard like getting financials together or just being subjected to blame. And I was previously so shattered that if I could have had access to someone to actually help me it would have been a blessing.

I have some things to do this week and am considering looking on fiver to get some help.

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1712   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8728608
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 4:15 AM on Friday, April 8th, 2022

I also have gotten help from a life coach my insurance company provided as well as resources from the domestic violence network. Not a divorce coach but they believe me and are there for support. (In the past, I catered to wh s moods to attempt to prevent abusive blowups.)

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1712   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8728610
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Minnesota ( member #50615) posted at 2:48 AM on Tuesday, April 12th, 2022

One of my classes for my masters degree was "coaching and consulting" but should have been called "coaching."

I have been thinking of starting a coaching business with an emphasis on getting past/through infidelity.

Me: BS Upper 40's
Her: XWW younger 30's
Married Sept. 2010
DDay Thanksgiving 2015
Dday2- Jan28ish, 2016 -new affair
One child (Big Mister) born in 2012
Divorced Sept. 2, 2016

posts: 2120   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2015   ·   location: Minnesota
id 8729306
Topic is Sleeping.
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