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Newest Member: Opacaro

New Beginnings :
Good opportunity - but may be around some of Xwh's family

Topic is Sleeping.
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 timestandsstill (original poster member #29921) posted at 4:20 PM on Thursday, January 27th, 2022

A community college recently opened up in my area. They're offering a 2-year degree in the area I'm interested in (IT), and the first year would be free to me as a resident.

The problem is, some of XWH's family are involved. Our separation goes back 10 years at this point. I'm actually still in occasional contact with some of his family who were sympathetic or neutral during our divorce. However, the family members on the board of the school and pictured in some of the ads are the ones who tried to interfere in court and called me at work to harass me (again, a long time ago now.) I've had no contact at all with them or XWH for years since the divorce was nasty and custody is now done.

These family members wouldn't actually be teaching any courses there and I don't think they could do anything to jeopardize my standing; however, I assume since it's a small area that I might run into them along the way.

My heart tells me to just keep going forward with plans to move somewhere I'd like to live, stay for residency there, and then go to another community college if I still need schooling to achieve my goals. I was wondering if you all would feel the same or would tell me to suck it up since staying here for two more years and getting a free year of school makes more sense financially.

Sorry for the long post. Life has been so complicated since this all started.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt

posts: 175   ·   registered: Oct. 22nd, 2010   ·   location: PA
id 8712100
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TurnedTurtle ( member #65603) posted at 9:47 PM on Friday, January 28th, 2022

So I am wondering what roles in the college these members of XWH's family have, how big the college is, and how big the community is? What, really, are the chances that you would run into one or more of these people simply by taking some classes there? Is there any reason that they would even know you were enrolled?

"Secrets have a cost, they're not free, not now, not ever!"

posts: 178   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2018
id 8712485
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grubs ( member #77165) posted at 11:33 PM on Friday, January 28th, 2022

If it is a public college, communication between board members faculty and staff are subject to FOI/Sunshine/FERPA laws. That will limit their access to information and willingness to use their positions for petty purposes. Ferpa is very particular that people only access student records for legitimate purposes. e.g. if a student is 18+ you can't discuss a students grades/schedule etc with parent without a students permission. Ferpa violations can lead to the loss of federal educational funds. Even private institutions aren't going to willingly risk that. Boards are also generally just advisory or big picture roles. The president/chancellor works with them for guidance/direction. Seldom do they have detail knowledge or control. There is a risk, but there are protections that should cause any board member, faculty, or staff cause to avoid any appearance of impropriety. Don't know if that's enough to put your mind at ease but it's unlikely that a board member will even receive a list of students from which individuals can be identified by name if they ask. At least they shouldn't.

[This message edited by grubs at 11:34 PM, Friday, January 28th]

posts: 1621   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2021
id 8712508
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 2:53 PM on Saturday, January 29th, 2022

I'm on an an advisory board for a program at our local community college. We meet twice per year. I don't see a list of students or know their names. Discussions about students focus on how many new students are being accepted for the year, how many are finishing the certificate classes and how many are continuing on to get their AA degree.

If their on the board for the entire college, discussion would be about overall performance of the program. Doubtful that individual names would be mentioned. May be a slight chance they could see you on campus, but may not be much chance.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3898   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8712583
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EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 2:08 PM on Monday, January 31st, 2022

I think you should go for it!

As others said, I think the chances of them knowing or being able to jeopardize anything for you would be minimal.

The way I look at this is. College credits are banked. Meaning, if you go for a semester and decide not to pursue further at this point, most times those credits transfer. I used old credits from decades ago when I went back. So you are investing in you. Don't let them take that from you.

Go get em!!!

posts: 6935   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2009   ·   location: Pennsylvania
id 8712874
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twicefooled ( member #42976) posted at 6:56 PM on Monday, January 31st, 2022

Go for it!

May 29 2021 ***reclaimed myself and decided to delete my story with my ex because I'm now 7 years free from him and mentally healthier than I've been in years.

*********When you know better, you can do better*************

posts: 492   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2014
id 8712934
Topic is Sleeping.
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