SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Nice attempt to flip this around on me again. People here will try literally anything to avoid admitting they suck at listening and that they’re not being helpful. "Oh, you just can’t accept help unless it’s offered in the specific way you want it!" No, motherfucker. You’re NOT helping. You are actively hurting people.

Like imagine if you’re sitting down to lunch with somebody else (SO) and they suggest to you the shrimp scampi.

You: Oh, thanks for the suggestion but I’m allergic to shellfish.

SO: You should really try it; it’s delicious.

You: I’m sure it is, but I can’t have it because I’m allergic.

SO: No you’re not. Just try it.

You: What? If I eat that, I will have an allergic reaction. I’m pretty sure I know my own body and medical conditions better than you do…

SO: Nonsense, of course I know better than you. You’re not allergic. Why are you being so resistant to trying the dish?

You: I AM ALLERGIC TO SHELLFISH. I literally cannot eat that; it’s not that I don’t want to try it.

SO: You know, extreme resistance to trying new dishes can be a sign of autism, more specifically ARFID…

You: I don’t have ARFID; I have an allergy!

SO: ARFID sufferers are usually in denial of their issues; this is a typical response… Once you get over the denial, you can enjoy the shrimp scampi…

You: Please stop trying to convince me I have ARFID instead of a shellfish allergy. This is ridiculous. I can’t understand why you’re even doing this. Are you trying to make me have an allergic reaction ?

SO: Wow, you obviously have trauma if you suspect someone would do that to you. You need more help than I can give you…

You: You’re clearly the one with the issues dude. Nobody should be eating with you; it’s not safe.

And then when you’re trying to leave the restaurant, a mob of others who overheard the conversation are shouting after you about how unreasonable you’re being, and if you’re not being understood it’s definitely because you haven’t clearly expressed yourself...

That is how this place feels.

But sure, it’s all my fault, right?

I’m working on getting the site shut down.

[This message edited by TreadingWater1592 at 4:44 AM, Sunday, December 7th]

If a web is tangled, it’s because other, hapless insects have been ensnared

Do you mean like how your BH has been tangled up in your web of deceit?

Your betrayal regarding him, matters much more than any game you try to play with people that don’t even know you in real life. Is he just a "hapless insect" ensnared in your web?

How is any of this really helping you to deal with the harm you have caused your BH, by betraying him, helping you to heal just for your own sake, and helping you try to repair the damage done to your marriage, if your BH is even willing to try to reconcile?

Those are questions you just need to ask yourself, I am not suggesting that you need to answer those questions here.

You can lash out and cuss me out, I really don’t care.

I’ve done a lot of work, with the help of therapists and counselors, to be a better person than I use to be, even before I had reason to find this message forum. And I have worked with professionals to sort some things out, even after I found these forums. I fully admit that I am a work in progress, and always will be, until the day I die.

Are you in IC? If you are, does the professional that you are working with, know about what you do here? Just asking.

I typed my last post before I saw the latest post from Ghostie.

Ma’am or sir, you really need more help than you can get from anyone on this forum.

You seem to think that you are the puppet master, pulling the strings, but the not funny joke is really on you.

Because you are clearly and obviously troubled in ways that nobody here can help you with.

I sincerely suggest you seek help in real life, and be completely honest with whoever ends up trying to help you in real life.

Because what you are doing here, is way past "just" being a wayward spouse.

And that is probably the last thing I will try to say nicely if you are allowed to continue with your shenanigans.