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Help/request

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Hippo16 (original poster member #52440) posted at 3:29 PM on Wednesday, September 18th, 2024

Does anyone have/remember the poster who came home a day early to find his wife getting bare-backed in their bedroom by the "pool-guy?"

I think he was a police detective. Went straight to divorce with her (as best I remember)

Thanks

There's no troubled marriage that can't be made worse with adultery."For a person with integrity, there is no possibility of being unhappy enough in your marriage to have an affair, but not unhappy enough to ask for divorce."
It’s easy to ignore eve

posts: 962   ·   registered: Mar. 26th, 2016   ·   location: OBX
id 8848889
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KitchenDepth5551 ( member #83934) posted at 3:54 PM on Wednesday, September 18th, 2024

Maybe that's Bigger and his fiance? If so, he's often around and will likely reply.

posts: 94   ·   registered: Sep. 27th, 2023
id 8848893
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Bigger ( Attaché #8354) posted at 5:59 PM on Wednesday, September 18th, 2024

No. Not me.
Remember that story from +5 years ago…

"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

posts: 12761   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2005
id 8848907
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KitchenDepth5551 ( member #83934) posted at 6:44 PM on Wednesday, September 18th, 2024

Sorry Bigger.

I do remember the story. He said he brought home a gift or flowers, and he just set it down on the table and left without confronting her. There are times I wish these stories were made up.

posts: 94   ·   registered: Sep. 27th, 2023
id 8848910
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 6:50 PM on Wednesday, September 18th, 2024

I often wish that too Kitchen

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1809   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8848912
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 12:16 AM on Thursday, September 19th, 2024

That story rings a bell. But can't remember the details or the poster.

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades-2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same LAP until I told OBS 2018- Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3939   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8848938
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 Hippo16 (original poster member #52440) posted at 5:20 AM on Thursday, September 19th, 2024

I remember his going into the house after arriving and noticing the "pool-cleaner-guy" car/truck in driveway.
Went into house and heard sounds coming from direction of bedroom. He drew his pistol thinking his wife may be in trouble (?!) and gets to see "pool-guy" doing her doggie style and her saying "**** my ass!" - he backs away and leaves after dropping flowers on table/counter.

Came home a day early from a trip as I remember.

He had another LEO get his "police stuff/clothes/equipment" later and I don't remember much after that other than he filed and never looked back.

Another thread (recent) or two - triggered the memory.

For those who DIDN'T see with their own eyes - count your blessings.

There's no troubled marriage that can't be made worse with adultery."For a person with integrity, there is no possibility of being unhappy enough in your marriage to have an affair, but not unhappy enough to ask for divorce."
It’s easy to ignore eve

posts: 962   ·   registered: Mar. 26th, 2016   ·   location: OBX
id 8848953
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lrpprl ( member #80538) posted at 1:35 PM on Thursday, September 19th, 2024

For those who DIDN'T see with their own eyes - count your blessings.

Hippo...

What I am about to relate happened 50 or so years ago.

When I was a teenager I used to pal around and get in harmless trouble with another guy. He was a clown, outgoing, and always joking around... a real prankster. He married a local girl and stayed in our small farming community. I went into the military after graduation and moved on. We lost touch.

Anyway, sometime back in the 70s I was visiting my widowed father who still lived there. He told me a story about something that had happened a year or two prior. He said that my pal and another guy had been hunting in some woods. When they came out of the woods my pal saw his own car parked at the edge of the woods nearby. He wondered what his car was doing there so far out of the way. He and the guy he was hunting with walked over. When they got close they saw both back doors opened. They walked upon my pal's wife and a local man going at it. (This guy she was f**king had a local reputation of having a huge package). I am suprised no one got shot since he and his hunting buddy had their hunting rifles.

My pal and his wife were members of a small local church. The church leaders convinced them to stay together. Told him that since God had forgiven his sins, that he should forgive his wife's sins, etc. So they remained together the rest of their lives. I am sure back then there was no counseling. Being raised back then the way we were, where we were taught to be self-sufficient and take care of our own problems, I am sure that even if counseling was available, it would have been viewed in a bad light... as being mentally incapacitated in some way.

I saw my pal 3-4 times after that when I would go back there to visit... the last time in 2005. Each time we would visit I would try to get him to smile or laugh by reminiscing about some of the stupid stuff we used to do. But I never saw him smile. His eyes always looked sad.

His so-called reconciliation after that egregious betrayal, which he viewed with his own eyes, was the epitome of Rug-Sweeping.

Last week I was speaking with my younger sister who still lives in that area. I told her what I remembered Dad telling me and if I was remembering that correctly. She said, "Oh Yes, that happened". I asked her about my pal after that. She said after that happened he was "pitiful". He always walked around with his head down... like he did not want to look someone in the eye (from shame???), and never seemed to smile again. He passed away about 5 years ago.

Anyway that is the story of someone who viewed the cheating with their own eyes and never got couseling with a qualified counselor who treats PTSD victims. A really sad story.

[This message edited by lrpprl at 8:29 PM, Thursday, September 19th]

posts: 309   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2022   ·   location: USA
id 8848965
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Vomitousmass ( member #62687) posted at 3:45 PM on Friday, September 20th, 2024

Wasn't his screen name "Fife"?

posts: 98   ·   registered: Feb. 12th, 2018
id 8849082
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SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 4:50 PM on Friday, September 20th, 2024

Yep, Fife!

https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums/?tid=595381

Gasping for air while volunteering to give others CPR is not heroic.

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1578   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8849111
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 Hippo16 (original poster member #52440) posted at 6:36 PM on Friday, September 20th, 2024

Vomitousmass & SacredSoul33


Bingo!

Thank You both smile


I searched via Google advanced and could not find the thread.


I re-read the thread and so sorry to read about so many having the experience in their memory.

There's no troubled marriage that can't be made worse with adultery."For a person with integrity, there is no possibility of being unhappy enough in your marriage to have an affair, but not unhappy enough to ask for divorce."
It’s easy to ignore eve

posts: 962   ·   registered: Mar. 26th, 2016   ·   location: OBX
id 8849130
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SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 8:09 PM on Friday, September 20th, 2024

I can't imagine actually SEEING it. Hugs to all who did.

Gasping for air while volunteering to give others CPR is not heroic.

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1578   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8849157
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RealityBlows ( member #41108) posted at 11:18 PM on Friday, September 20th, 2024

Bigger wrote a good piece on Unthoughtknown’s thread in JFO, that really makes sense.

In summary, Bigger says that our embellishing imaginations are more horrifying than seeing the act in reality.

[This message edited by RealityBlows at 1:00 AM, Saturday, September 21st]

"If nothing in life matters, then all that matters is what we do."

posts: 1335   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2013
id 8849168
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Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 4:13 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2024

I am thankful to rely on my imagination vs seeing it with my own eyes.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3616   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8849184
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SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 2:14 AM on Sunday, September 22nd, 2024

I am thankful to rely on my imagination vs seeing it with my own eyes.

Me too. At least with my imagination I can tell myself that what I’m seeing is not real.

Gasping for air while volunteering to give others CPR is not heroic.

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1578   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8849251
Topic is Sleeping.
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