Topic is Sleeping.
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 6:41 PM on Monday, May 20th, 2024
can't move on until the betrayal is resolved. I guess it's about a desperate attempt to make some sense out of the mess in my head. TT is responsible for most of that mess. I had to adapt to so many realities, that I've started to experience difficulties in determining what is real now. I don't know how to explain it. It's causing serious problems, and I can't live like this anymore.
I'm on the other side of this as I am divorcing my xWS (should be final any minute it takes forever) it ends when you leave it behind. If R is not possible the only other way to get out of this is by leaving. I am no longer plagued by my xWS's many A's. While I was with him I was constantly triggered because he was the perpetrator. He also is a narcissist and not remorseful.
I wish I had not been so fearful of D on my first D-Day, I would have left then rather than go through all that mess of trying to R and constantly getting triggered. For myself it was a whole hell of a lot easier to heal from infidelity once I decided to leave and wasn't around him anymore.
[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 6:43 PM, Monday, May 20th]
fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24
BluerThanBlue ( member #74855) posted at 9:59 PM on Monday, May 20th, 2024
I think that quotes goes into the WS Bullshit Hall of Fame, second only to OlderAndHappier's WW:
"What did you expect when you married a beautiful woman?"
[This message edited by BluerThanBlue at 10:00 PM, Monday, May 20th]
BW, 40s
Divorced WH in 2015; now happily remarried
I edit my comments a lot for spelling, grammar, typos, etc.
Stillconfused2022 ( member #82457) posted at 3:03 AM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2024
I am so sorry. Same here. Same story. Seven years of creeping worse story. And then one day for no reason at all, comes out with the fact they were hooking up many times.
The sickening part—or one of the most sickening parts to me—was him acting like he wasn’t the cold-hearted liar that he was. Saying…well you knew. when i most definitely did not know. Having suspicions and KNOWiNG are two vastly different things. Both horrific in their own way. And by taking this TT approach with you it subjects you to BOTH. The horror of it hanging over your head all these years and then the horror of that final disgusting story, which you will never feel is really final.
The pain did mostly stop and get better in my case, 2 years ago. It all tumbled out like one final nauseating pile of excrement, after seven years. At that moment I could tell, it was at least 90% of the truth. and there has never really been any more.
whether you stay or go I hope you get to the point where you feel you have at least 90%. It is enough to move on, with or without them.
Topic is Sleeping.
