Topic is Sleeping.
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 10:29 PM on Thursday, April 4th, 2024
Have you read Not Just Friends by Dr. Shirley Glass? She has a chapter on windows and walls that discusses boundaries for the M. I think it's a very good analogy. You put windows between you and your spouse, which is a metaphor for transparency. You can see into each other's lives. You build walls between your M and people outside of the M. They don't need to know what your M is about. They shouldn't have the ability to see what you and your spouse do, plan, etc. That chapter was one that spoke to me the most.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
HouseOfPlane ( member #45739) posted at 12:12 AM on Friday, April 5th, 2024
He is constantly telling me I have nothing to fear.
In a way he is right, just for a different reason.
You can let him know what your boundaries are and then watch him. You can accept who he is and make your choice based on that. Don’t hope for a different past, don’t hope for a different person. Take him as he is. As you noted you’re financially and materially well off enough so that you’ll do well either path. It would be sad to lose the relationship, but that’s not something to fear. It’s just something that may happen.
DDay 1986: R'd, it was hard, hard work.
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?”
― Mary Oliver
Topic is Sleeping.
