SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Christmas is forever tainted. This, my eighth holiday since D day and 5 years divorced. I am so far making a go with minimal triggering. The first since, where I have not burst into tears at some point. The first where I, maybe, (I'm here writing),don't dwell in the trauma. My sons, early twenties, live with me still. They went to their mothers for Christmas eve. I almost broke ,alone at home, booze waiting in my truck , rage tingling just under my facade. I managed to abstain from losing myself.
So. Today with family ,our 94 yr old mother gone now too, I will glean some little joy, yet the relief of it being over can't come soon enough.
Life is what it is now. Idealistic delusions ripped away. The wounds throb with contempt, at times. But I will never surrender.
Fuck it all.
Peace to all.
Happy New Years be damned.

Good work. Sounds like you’re moving forward with your trauma even if the road is slow going. You’re better off without a cheating wayward. Progress is progress.

Life is what we make it. I hope you do find the little joy and peace today and enjoy seeing your sons now as young men seeing Christmas through a new lens. You deserve MORE joy. I hope you find that under your tree today and all through the year.

(And congratulations on making it this far. The loss of idealism is not unlike learning Santa is not real. A loss, but the magic is not completely gone.)

Every day that you hang on to negatives is a day she has stolen from you. Let 2024 be the year you don’t care any more. It will free you up to find some joy, so that is what I wish for you, and all of us on this site.