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General :
What Is This Behavior Called?

Topic is Sleeping.
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 MarjiLann (original poster member #82631) posted at 3:40 AM on Friday, November 10th, 2023

My husband, Jerry, and I had new neighbors, a 50ish woman and her 30 some year old convicted child-molesting, just-out-of-prison son move in next door.

They had to move because the old house faced a child's area.

She also is a new widow.

I met her for the first time the week before they moved in. I did not know their history when I met her because the police had not yet informed the neighborhood of the sex offender to be moving in. I had never seen her before and did not know my husband had BRIEFLY spoken to her over our fence in the back yard. I only knew the house was sold and she was our new neighbor.

This meeting did not go as I expected it would or should. I thought she'd ask how long we lived in the neighborhood, what the neighborhood was like, things like that.

I was in back on our deck and she came to our wrought iron fence on her side and introduced herself.She said she had to put up a fence because she had a small dog. She was quite gleeful when she said, "What a beautiful fence, pity I have to ruin it. Pity!" (with a smirk).

Then she said Jerry is so happy I'm putting up a fence. I knew this was a lie. I was also surprised because I did not know my husband had talked to her. She saw the look on my face, which was all astonishment. I knew how badly my husband did not want a wooden fence like that next door. (Although we understand it's perfectly her right to do what she wants on her property.)

She looked my right in the eyes and said, Jerry is so happy I'm moving in. Jerry and I talked and talked and talked. Jerry is going to help me... Jerry wants to do this other thing... Jerry and I plan to... Jerry and I are going to decide to do... Jerry and I... Jerry and I... Jerry and I... Jerry thinks I have GOOD ideas. All with a smirk and really in my face.

I knew at the time none of this was true. All Jerry, my husband, said to her was some generic welcome to the neighborhood, good to meet you and if there's anything we can do, don't hesitate to ask.

So what do you call this kind of behavior and what on earth did she hope to accomplish?


edited for identifying info.

[This message edited by MarjiLann at 5:36 AM, Friday, November 10th]

posts: 280   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2020
id 8814638
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Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 4:49 AM on Friday, November 10th, 2023

This behavior is a big red flag. She is trying to drive a wedge, we have seen this type come and go in our community.

We have a community pool, one day my W gets there before me and this neighbor snubs her, ignores her. When I get there it was "Hey Tanner!! She is all chatty with me and I was nice to her, not knowing what had happened. My W was pissed!! this woman deliberately did this to us. It turns out they were just nasty people, spreading rumors of me making a pass at her, then her H claimed my W sat on his lap when no one was around. Total bullshit, they never came to us with the allegations, just told everyone else. Keep your distance, this is a trouble maker.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3540   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8814647
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SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 3:09 PM on Friday, November 10th, 2023

Keep your distance, this is a trouble maker.

I agree. She isn't right in the head. I'd refrain from any communication with her other than what's absolutely necessary, and then do it as a united front. As "we." And maybe in front of cameras.

Remove the "I want you to like me" sticker from your forehead and place it on the mirror, where it belongs. ~ Susan Jeffers

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1445   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8814732
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 MarjiLann (original poster member #82631) posted at 3:52 PM on Friday, November 10th, 2023

Thanks Tanner and SacredSoul33. I'm really struggling with this. I want to move. She's already wandered on our property when my husband was out in front and started simpering and trying to engage him alone. Two weeks ago I caught her in my driveway trying to blow our leaves towards her property.

I'll never forget the feeling I had when she just kept throwing it in my face about her plans for my husband. So I went out and said, "GET OFF MY PROPERTY." She decided to play stupid with me and said she was just being a good neighbor. I said, "Not on my property." She said, "But I'm just..." So I said again, "GET OFF MY PROPERTY!" She said, "You mean just leave it (the leaves) here?" And I turned away and went into my house. She did leave then.

I *am* documenting all our interactions with her.

[This message edited by MarjiLann at 3:53 PM, Friday, November 10th]

posts: 280   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2020
id 8814752
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 4:24 PM on Friday, November 10th, 2023

Look like it's time to set up a few Ring cameras. I'd watch out for porch pirating too and document, document.

It sounds like she's got no boundaries and is aggressive. Maybe take a look into her prior living arrangements and ask the neighbors there how things went down. Nextdoor is a good resource for that- look for her old posts and posts in her neighborhood.

It stinks you have this hostile person living next door. I'd discuss this with your neighbor on the other side of her and across the street. Not in a gossipy way, just, "Hey, this person seems a bit off to me" and describe the boundary (literal) crossing behavior. It might help them keep an eye open and not get pulled in.

I had a horrible neighbor right behind me too. Stressed me out for years. I hate that you have to have such a stressful situation show up on your doorstep.

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

posts: 1189   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8814766
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emergent8 ( Guide #58189) posted at 5:30 PM on Friday, November 10th, 2023

Yikes. This woman seems unhinged. I agree with others who are suggesting you keep your distance, and maybe even invest in some cameras. I'd be particularly concerned if I was your husband.


As to what it's called precisely, I obviously cannot say with any certainty, but (at the risk of pathologizing) it certainly sounds like she is exhibiting some pretty obvious Cluster B personality traits - possibility histrionic and/or antisocial personality disorder. Histrionics thrive off attention and drama (and don't necessarily care if it's good or bad attention) - they can be incredibly manipulative and absolutely hate being ignored.

Me: BS. Him: WS.
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
Happily reconciled.

posts: 2169   ·   registered: Apr. 7th, 2017
id 8814785
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SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 5:54 PM on Friday, November 10th, 2023

I want to move.

I hope she didn't harm your property value by moving in her pedophile son. Is moving a possibility?

Remove the "I want you to like me" sticker from your forehead and place it on the mirror, where it belongs. ~ Susan Jeffers

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1445   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8814790
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 MarjiLann (original poster member #82631) posted at 7:15 PM on Friday, November 10th, 2023

Yes SacredSoul33, the day they moved in, the value of our house dropped 10 to 12%. Worse, the house lots are only 6 feet apart. Thankfully she put up a tall fence so nobody can see her pedo son out in back without his ankle bracelet on.

posts: 280   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2020
id 8814800
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HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 9:42 PM on Friday, November 10th, 2023

I think she just lost her husband, and is looking to replace him with yours.

That being said..you're on this site, so you're here because of infidelity. Are you completely sure your husband hasn't flirted with her?

But you are what you did
And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive
The smallest man who ever lived..

posts: 6787   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: The Midwest
id 8814825
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 MarjiLann (original poster member #82631) posted at 10:47 PM on Friday, November 10th, 2023

Hellfire, you may be right. There has to be a reason she's on him like glue. Today he raked the leaves, so she did too. But he started in the back and she was in the front, so she had to pretend she didn't know how to use the lawn mower to take up some time. She'd mow one row, stop, and wait for 20 minutes to let him catch up and do the front.

What really sticks with me is she's been raking her leaves to the curb, but not today. He always fills the back of his truck and goes to the dump. I think she did too. She left before him and came back a few minutes before he did. I mean, it's obvious where he goes; the dump is about 3 miles away. But I can't see her lifting a barrel of leaves because she pretends to not know how to do things/pretends to be frightened of doing outside things. Yes, it's obvious she's looking for a married man to come along and help her. The MM across from her has a boat and she started walking her dog in front of his house more after he parked it in front of his house.

She also talks baby talk,does a Marilyn Monroe accent and simpers to men, and seems to disparage the older women in the neighborhood, rolling her eyes when older women are brought up.

To tell the honest truth, she's not his type, although pretty enough, but she's so just off, really off, that I truly think he's horrified that she even looks at him.

That's funny. My serial cheating husband seems to be running from this one.

posts: 280   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2020
id 8814841
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HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 11:22 PM on Friday, November 10th, 2023

rolling her eyes when older women are brought up.

She sounds awful. Maybe her husband ran off? (That's terrible of me. But..still laugh )

But you are what you did
And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive
The smallest man who ever lived..

posts: 6787   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: The Midwest
id 8814843
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 MarjiLann (original poster member #82631) posted at 12:30 AM on Saturday, November 11th, 2023

She is truly awful. Her husband died in a work accident. However, we recently looked at her FB and she has not updated since her manbaby was arrested a few years ago. The only pictures she had were of her dancing with her pasty-white, fat, dull-looking, child-molesting son. No pics of her husband. You can tell she doted on her baby and he was her whole world.

You are right about her being truly awful. She wrote a letter to us neighbors how her manbaby was really acting as a police officer and was trying to keep these pics off the web by uploading them. She wrote that it was a victimless crime and said even if you buy a laptop with pics like this already on it you are liable and will be arrested.That we should compare her son's arrest to buying a used laptop.

She seems to be truly delusional because in the court records which are public, the DOUBLE DIGIT victim impact and restitution statements were read into the record. The youngest was 8, one was 16 and the rest were 10 and 12 years old. He was sexting with them and making them send pics to him. There were whole series of emails and porn for each child victim.

Yeah, she's something else. Plus there's all her men friends. She sits in these mens' trucks with them on the street for about 20 minutes to a half hour three times a week. Why? My H and I wouldn't do that because it's uncomfortable. We have a house right there, why sit at the curb? This is a sedate, heavily wooded area. What she's doing is odd and out of place.

posts: 280   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2020
id 8814849
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Cooley2here ( member #62939) posted at 6:43 AM on Saturday, November 11th, 2023

My husband had a man who worked for him have to leave employment because his sociopathic wife acted just like this. The word NO means absolutely nothing to them. I assume, based on your description, that both of them have a screw loose. You need to keep your interactions very precise. I had to tell our employee’s wife to stop calling and when she did not stop I hung up on her until she did. After that she started coming to our house. I said the same thing to her you did.

Do not ever engage in a conversation. Your husband needs to go in the house the minute she comes outside. He should not say anything to her.

Cameras every where. Keep track of when packages are due. Because the cops know this family it might help to let them know about her bizarre behavior. That might shut her down but don’t count on it. Our pain in the a** called off and on for a year.

When things go wrong, don’t go with them. Elvis

posts: 4322   ·   registered: Mar. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8814866
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 9:54 PM on Sunday, November 12th, 2023

What she is called is TROUBLEMAKER

Her life is in the toilet. Widowed and left alone with a Pedo Son w/an ankle bracelet. And she's trying to make herself "feel better" using the oldest method in the book.

While I'm sure she's "casting a wide net" in your community -she sees your WH as "low hanging fruit" due to proximity.

I am glad to hear your WH has her number. IMHO he still needs to take precautions and make sure he's never around her alone because she will set something up for you to see [even it he's 100% innocent in her scheme]

Ring camera is a good idea. As is documentation.

Sadly, if you aren't friends with your local LEOs now might be the time to change that. I have a funny feeling you may need them one day soon. People like her are pros. And know just how to trap.

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades - Children (1 still at home) Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBS 2018 Cease & Desist sent spring 2021"Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3836   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8814973
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OnTheOtherSideOfHell ( member #82983) posted at 2:14 AM on Monday, November 13th, 2023

I am so sorry. Your story reads like the beginning of a Lifetime network movie. Maybe keep records and write a screenplay for them. I apologize if my attempt at lightening the mood doesn’t induce a chuckle. But, seriously, be careful. 😬😢

posts: 214   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2023   ·   location: SW USA
id 8814991
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 MarjiLann (original poster member #82631) posted at 3:30 AM on Wednesday, November 15th, 2023

I have an update of sorts. Turns out she's (older than 65/under 70) years old not 51 as I read somewhere. I could have called that one.

On Friday my H went out and mowed/raked the lawn so did she. She tried so hard to slow down to try to meet up with him where our two front lawns meet. The problem was H started in back and she put up such a tall wall in back, we cannot see each other. (She needed to put up a tall fence with no way to see through it, because her pedo son will be on an ankle bracelet for over a decade. This will allow him to slip it off and be outside without anybody knowing.)

It was sickening to see her mow one strip and sit there for 15 minutes before she'd do another. The great thing was H started at the far, end away from her and when he had to come back to our garage close to her, he would not look at her. She noticed this and just looked deflated and defeated. This was her big chance to flirt with him and he obviously did... not... want... Yay! Little victories!

posts: 280   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2020
id 8815185
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Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 4:15 AM on Wednesday, November 15th, 2023

She's a creepy stalker, she raised her Son to be the same way.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3540   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8815193
Topic is Sleeping.
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