Some background. WH's original A was on a porn website. A website where you can interact with the "amateur" pornographers. Basically a site where desperately pathetic women post naked pictures in hopes that online creeps will comment on them. He met his AP there and I guess his creepy comments were "amazing" enough that they struck up a relationship and had a year-long affair over the internet/text/skype/calls. It was a constant thing for a year - messages and pictures sent practically 24/7.
When our original D-Day happened, I saw his screen with their chat loaded up. I then proceeded to find out all about his porn habit and how he enjoyed engaging with these people online.
I never had a problem with porn before. But when I found out how much he was watching and abusing himself (before I woke up, after he got home, after I fell asleep -- multiple times daily all while complaining to me that we didn't have enough sex. 
). Anyhow, I never had a problem with that. Before D-Day, we enjoyed watching porn together. But he kept so much secret that I had no idea that what we shared was just the tip of the iceberg.
He cried that he had a problem with porn. His A was a symptom of his porn problem. Blah Blah Blah. Nevermind how heartbroken I was by his love affair, it was all his porn problem. The AP meant nothing, it was all lies and fantasy.
So 10 years later.... He's been talking about how different he is. He's ready to talk, he's trying to be open. He's answering some questions and trying to show empathy. He wants to rebuild, he wants to make amends. It's coming up on Christmas, it's coming up on my 50th birthday.
We work from home and share an office. Our desks face each other so we can chat.
Yesterday I was getting ready to look at our finances. I went to pull up the credit card statement and he was worried that it might spoil my birthday present. So I pop up and offer him my PC to check -- He pops up to check and I walk to the other side of the room. Out of the corner of my eyes, I see he's got an incognito browser open. My first thought was to look away, I kid you not. But then I looked back and he was on reddit. Interacting with the amateur porn posters.
He's also got a secret pornhub account. He's watched over 1400 videos in the past year. WTF.
The porn I can deal with. Interacting with whores... the slippery slope right back to his affair, or as I call it, fishing in the affair pond. What a fuckwit.
