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Dog update (sad)

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 tushnurse (original poster member #21101) posted at 3:49 AM on Saturday, September 30th, 2023

For those of us that have participated in the however many pages of dog stories we have going currently I debated adding this update there or making my own thread. To not bring down the positive feeling in that thread I made my own.

As you all may know I have labs. 3 of them to date. My old girl Lucy has been living past an expiration date since July 4th 2022. She had a rapid decline this past week and we had to say good bye yesterday. It sucked. It was the most humane thing to do and it was clearly time.
The passing was peaceful and easy for her. She lived a great life. She would have been 15 on 1/1/24. So for a bigger dog she had a long life.

I was most concerned about my son. She was his dog and yah he's an adult and left home but I knew his sensitive soul would take this hard. He has to work this weekend which is probably good. He actually did better than I hoped. He was a mess but an appropriate mess. He made a beautiful post to Facebook with photos I had not seen in a long time.

Anyway this sucked on manyevels. Saying good bye to a pet is never easy. Even when you have had more than a year to prepare. It extra sucked because my H was in Canada on a bucket list trip. So he wasn't here to say goodbye and I have been home alone since as the pup is at sleep away camp until next weekend. My middle boy is with H on the Canada trip. So having a 3 dog home go to zero is really jarring.

Anyway I know my fellow animal lovers know what I'm going through and I honestly feel silly posting about feeling the loss and being alone with loss. Of all places I know you all understand.

Anyway cheers to a long and wonderful life for my Lucy girl.

Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 22 & 25
Married for 30 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 19976   路   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   路   location: St. Louis
id 8809996
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Superesse ( member #60731) posted at 5:30 AM on Saturday, September 30th, 2023

(((((Tushnurse Mommy))))) 馃槩馃槩馃槩

The tears I'm crying for you right now are because Lucy had to leave you alone, right when your H was away on a fun trip and your other dogs are out and about, too!! Poor Momma...you have my permission to go ahead and sob, and your H won't hear it. Let it OUT!!

I know I did when we lost our old boy on Thanksgiving Day, his favorite holiday, and we'd just lost one of my brothers earlier in the week! My sudden sobbing sessions went on for weeks....they'd come unannounced, too, for a long time. And my H and Missy grieved too. I think I told you all the Christmas story of her howling at me when I was starting to wrap presents last Christmas Eve and the crinkle of wrapping paper told her it was that special time of year but the pack was incomplete, so how could we celebrate Christmas without him, she seemed to be yelling at me!

We just took her this week with Mink on a 2 day camping trip to celebrate her 10th birthday at the ocean, just the same as we did last year. Do you know soon as we set up, she went around the RV living room, and sniffed just where our old dog used to lay, even with her 'bratty baby brother' right there in his crate, looking at her?! The new pup and she are still working it out, but that girl dog truly still longs for her old companion and I felt he was with us on this trip, because she showed me she was remembering him. I walked the puppy out to Lookout Point just where I had stood with the frail old dog a year ago and H got a photo. (Mink still has no idea how big a set of paws he needs to grow into - although right now he is all paws, rubber legs and long tail.)

The hurt still lies beneath the joy on days like we had this week. I can only imagine it will be a while with you, too. All that TLC you gave her, fixing her food and all. Are you able to bury her on your property? We found that very therapeutic, as he had lived so many of his happiest times patrolling this place.

Again, I am soooo sorry!! You gave her the max life!

posts: 1864   路   registered: Sep. 22nd, 2017   路   location: Washington D C area
id 8810000
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 7:34 AM on Saturday, September 30th, 2023

When my previous cat died, it actually put me back in therapy. I was an absolute mess. The bond we have with our animals is real and the grief we feel when we lose them is just as real don鈥檛 apologize for posting this and don鈥檛 apologize for feeling heartbroken.

Me: BS 55 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 5711   路   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   路   location: Northern CA
id 8810007
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 9:12 PM on Saturday, September 30th, 2023

Oh (((Tush))) I'm so sorry. Having a house without a dog is so hard. I hope your H and pup will be home soon. Lucy was a lucky girl to be loved and cared for by you.

You all that love and care deeply for your animals are my people. 鉂

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 3420   路   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8810056
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DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 9:36 PM on Saturday, September 30th, 2023

((((((Tush)))))

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's heartbreaking. But it brings me comfort to know that our pets leave us sooner than we go becauze they don't need to learn to love unconditionally. They already do it.

Hugs.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25657   路   registered: May. 10th, 2011   路   location: Canada
id 8810058
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whatisloveanyway ( member #66450) posted at 1:30 AM on Sunday, October 1st, 2023

tushnurse,
sending condolences for your loss. It is like losing a friend or family member. This is the one year anniversary of the loss of my almost 15 yr old golden doodle. I miss him terribly. He was such a great companion and helped me so much during the loss of my dad and the relationship trauma that brought me here to this site. His last week was both heartbreaking and heartwarming, a mix of awful and lovely. I had covid, he was suffering from autoimmune disease and heart failure, but those last days were a gift for me, and I hope for him too. I didn't want to let him go, but it was time. When I look back now at the photos of his last days, I see more clearly how sick his body was. His spirit never flagged, so the decision was harder to make.

I'm sorry you had to be alone for this, and that your husband had to be far away on his dream trip when you lost Lucy. The silence in the house was the hardest for me those first few weeks. I hope your house is full of people and your new pup soon. I don't know why you would feel silly posting about this - losing a pet is heartbreaking and it's clear yours are deeply loved. Cheers to Lucy and hugs to you.

BW: 63 WH: 63 Both 57 on Dday, M 37 years, 2 grown kids. WH had 9 year A with MOW, 7 month false R, multiple DDays, years of trickle truth and so many lies. I got rid of her with one email but she still haunts me. Reconciling, or trying to.

posts: 516   路   registered: Oct. 9th, 2018   路   location: Southeastern USA
id 8810077
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 4:39 AM on Sunday, October 1st, 2023

((Tush))
So sorry for your loss
They are family. Fur family is family.
Sorry for the series of events.
I can鈥檛 even imagine how hard it is.
Sending positive thoughts.

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1476   路   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   路   location: VA
id 8810092
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SerJR ( member #14993) posted at 4:26 PM on Sunday, October 1st, 2023

(((tushnurse)))

I'm so sorry for your loss. Lucy was a lucky girl to have the wonderful life and love that your family provided her.
Losing a loved one is never easy, but we can always carry them forward in our hearts.

Me: BH - Happily remarried.
Hope is never lost. It exists within you - it is real. It is not a force in and of itself - it is something that you create with every thought, action, and choice you make. It is a gift that you create for yourself.

posts: 18627   路   registered: Jun. 15th, 2007   路   location: Further North than South
id 8810131
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deena04 ( member #41741) posted at 6:10 PM on Sunday, October 1st, 2023

Big hugs to you. I鈥檓 so sorry. It sucks they can鈥檛 live as long as us.

Me FBS 40s, Him XWS older than me (lovemywife4ever), D, He cheated before M, forgot to tell me. I鈥檓 free and loving life.

posts: 3309   路   registered: Dec. 22nd, 2013   路   location: Midwest
id 8810143
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Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 11:50 PM on Sunday, October 1st, 2023

So very sorry for your loss. Too many of us here know the feeling and what you are going through.

"Because I deserve better"

posts: 3578   路   registered: Feb. 1st, 2005
id 8810173
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NorthernMSB ( member #69725) posted at 9:12 AM on Monday, October 2nd, 2023

I am so sorry. My lab girl is laying on my legs right now. I have three BIG dogs and the older two are 11 and 10 which is very old for Newfoundlands. My little (75 pound) lab is recovering from a total hip replacement (7 weeks into 12 weeks)and when she is healed; we start the same thing over again late November with the other hip. These wonderful creatures are family, mine have saved my life and sanity.

Dogs make life worth living and it sounds like your Lucy had a wonderful life. I know you already know that and it isn't much comfort even when it should be. I will be thinking of you and sending as many kind thoughts as I can.

Take care.

And as a Canadian, I hope your husband's visit is everything he hoped it would be. It is so beautiful up here now (in Ontario) with the leaves changing.

Me: BW-54
Him-WH-58

Too many Ddays now to count, all with the same LTAP ex-girlfriend (or I guess current) except the brief fling November 2018-Christmas Eve 2018 with another ex-girlfriend

I'm tired

posts: 488   路   registered: Feb. 10th, 2019
id 8810208
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SackOfSorry ( member #83195) posted at 10:49 AM on Monday, October 2nd, 2023

You took her pain and made it your own. I'm sorry for your loss. Been there way too many times...

Me - BW
DDay - May 4, 2013

And nothing's quite as sure as change. (The Mamas and the Papas)

posts: 85   路   registered: Apr. 11th, 2023
id 8810219
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 1:30 PM on Monday, October 2nd, 2023

I'm sorry to hear this tushnurse, It sounds like you gave her a beautiful life and she loved you guys with all her little doggy soul.

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

posts: 1137   路   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   路   location: Michigan
id 8810228
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WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 2:46 PM on Monday, October 2nd, 2023

Oh, tush, I鈥檓 so very sorry.

This is just so sad. Just sad.

I am especially sorry that you are alone鈥 No humans or puppy dogs to give you comfort.

And I am very sorry for your son. I鈥檓 glad you feel good about his response. Isn鈥檛 it wonderful when our kids surprise us in positive ways like that?

Im glad you can be assured that you helped her through something that was going to cause her so much more pain and discomfort in the limited time she had left.

You are a great nurse in every sense of the word!

I hope the two precious puppies you have left will comfort you when they get back home.

Isn鈥檛 it wonderful to have been so blessed with such a sweet companion for so long?

[This message edited by WhatsRight at 2:48 PM, Monday, October 2nd]

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8089   路   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   路   location: Southeast USA
id 8810235
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 tushnurse (original poster member #21101) posted at 5:36 PM on Monday, October 2nd, 2023

Thank you all for the kind words. My H and adult boy dog returned on Saturday they were both totally exhausted.
I think the dog realized yesterday that his sister wasn't there and smelled her crate and blankets really thoroughly. I had cleaned and washed everything prior to them getting home.

My son worked all weekend and I think that was probably best for him. We all had dinner together last night and said a cheers to her.

Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 22 & 25
Married for 30 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 19976   路   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   路   location: St. Louis
id 8810268
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Bigger ( Attach茅 #8354) posted at 4:20 PM on Tuesday, October 3rd, 2023

We get posts like this every now and then.
What I tend to think is that if someone has the need to share their pain then it strongly indicates that the decision to let our furry friend get eternal rest is built on the only real and good reasons for that decision: love, care and a sense of responsibility.

Maybe the closes I have been to really hitting someone in the last decade was a former neighbor who got rid of a young dog because "it鈥檚 too expensive to put him in a kennel for our two week holiday".

I also find comfort in paraphrasing something I heard in one of these "Alaska Remote" sort-of shows on Discovery: No animal dies of old-age in nature. If they get old they either can鈥檛 hunt, or they can鈥檛 escape being hunted. At least we ensure our friends a few more good years, and a peaceful passing free of starvation or a violent death.

"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

posts: 11922   路   registered: Sep. 29th, 2005
id 8810380
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squid ( member #57624) posted at 8:21 PM on Tuesday, October 3rd, 2023

As I鈥檓 reading through this thread, I am currently waiting in my dog鈥檚 vet to have her seen.

She鈥檚 a 15 year old lemon beagle. Her name is Joely. She鈥檚 been declining in the last couple years. Earlier she had a health issue and I was ready to say goodbye then. But she rallied.

She鈥檚 going through something new now and it鈥檚 hard watching her struggle.

I鈥檝e gently told my kids to prepare themselves for potentially bad news.

We鈥檝e had her since she was a year old. When it鈥檚 her time, it鈥檚 really going to hurt to say goodbye.

BH
D-Day 2.19.17
Divorced 12.10.18

This isn鈥檛 what any of us signed up for. But it is the hand that we have been dealt. Thus, we must play it.

posts: 2597   路   registered: Feb. 26th, 2017   路   location: Central Florida
id 8810416
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 8:32 PM on Tuesday, October 3rd, 2023

(((squid and joely)))

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 3420   路   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8810417
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squid ( member #57624) posted at 8:54 PM on Tuesday, October 3rd, 2023

She鈥檚 leaking fluid internally. They could drain as much fluid as possible today. That might only make her a bit more comfortable and buy some time. But recovery outcome is very poor.

Fuck 馃挃

BH
D-Day 2.19.17
Divorced 12.10.18

This isn鈥檛 what any of us signed up for. But it is the hand that we have been dealt. Thus, we must play it.

posts: 2597   路   registered: Feb. 26th, 2017   路   location: Central Florida
id 8810421
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 tushnurse (original poster member #21101) posted at 9:07 PM on Tuesday, October 3rd, 2023

(((Squid)))

We had something similar with our girl last yrb4th of July weekend. She was sick and weak and not tolerating food. Which in turn made her kidney issues worse. She rallied but at that emergency vet visit we found out she had a softball sized tumor on her spleen too. Meds rallied her and she honestly was doing great by the following week.
Our home vet agreed with my understanding of what happens with a splenic tumor and was hopeful when her time came it would be fast and over before I realized something was up.
But her kidneys just started shutting down despite the homemade food that was carefully selected to get her the right nutrients and keep the wrong ones out of her . I made her food from scratch for more than 2 years. Initially because of corn and chicken allergies, but then switched it up when we got the kidney disease diagnosis.

Like her I'm sure your Joely is loved very much too. I hope when it's her time it is as peaceful and easy as it was for our girl.

Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 22 & 25
Married for 30 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 19976   路   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   路   location: St. Louis
id 8810424
Topic is Sleeping.
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