I agree with DAYDREAMBELIEVER.
Not a lot of control do you have over that side of the family. Just be observant and intervene-legally, if you notice abuses, neglect or discover anything about this dude that poses a danger to the kids.
“That side of the family”. Sounds pretty weird doesn’t it? I know. Your Wife suddenly just introduces a total stranger into your kids lives.
Be the adult in the family, be the anchor-as mentioned, don’t exacerbate the situation, reduce drama, toxicity and maintain as much stability and normalcy as possible…as possible under these absolutely whacked circumstances.
Let your WW go. She’s gone. Mourn the loss with dignity in front of your kids, then go out into the woods and break some shit in private or, hang out with us here and lament all you like. Kindred souls here will totally understand.
Get the divorce rolling while she’s in her affair fog, take advantage of her current state of mind, and get the best terms divorce you can without too much drama. Her current state of mind will probably be to dump you quick and dirty so she can get on with her hysterical honeymoon. Take advantage of this. Let her feel sorry for you-if there’s any pity in her, milk it for all its worth. Don’t antagonize her until you get that divorce inked.
Think pragmatically, not emotionally, move quickly and decisively, don’t wallow-yet, until you’ve stabilized your side of the family. Kids will be needing this and will appreciate this when they grow up. Set a good example and be an inspiration for your kids should they ever face such adversity in their lives.
Coparenting. Good luck with that. Try and make it as less of shit-show as you possibly can.
How old are your kids?
[This message edited by RealityBlows at 1:05 AM, Saturday, September 30th]