Sorry for the long delay, after speaking with my wife and addressing things I wanted to just step away from everything for awhile. I needed to give myself time to re-adjust a little, re-focus and settle, I appreciate all the feedback on here it has helped tremendously.
Since our talk things have been going pretty good I would say. A few days after our talk my wife must had spoken with her mother and filled her in on some details to everything that's gone on in the past year with us, I ended up getting a text from her mother just kind of making sure I am alright, and she did make mention that my wife hates everything she has done and feels horrible about it. She also stated that she had been unfaithful in the past, and if anyone would have given her a second chance she would have gladly taken it and proved how sorry she was. Either way it was a good conversation with her, made me feel better and seemed my wife was showing others remorse too about what she did previously to me.
My wife since the talk has been very forthcoming and understanding of my needs, for example when she does go into the office she keeps me filled in on everything, she doesn't go out on jobs anymore, and basically keeps me posted. I do have access to her location as well through find my, sometimes though the cell service in the area isn't great which leads to the location not keeping updated. There is a few spots in the office where she loses cell service. One time about two weeks ago I checked the location on and it hadn't updated in 20 mins on the people section of find my, which usually means she lost signal in the building, but when I checked a couple minutes later on the device section it showed a ping of her phone at the gas station near her work but the people tab still showed no ping in 23 minutes and her office building. Is this typical of just spotty coverage or something fishy? I am just looking to confirm, maybe I need a better GPS solution instead, but the find my is just easy.
My wife has been forthcoming though when asked about anything, there has been a couple times where she told me she was packing up and about to leave her office building only to not leave till 30-40 minutes later. When she gets home I obviously confront her about it and she told me that every time she's about to leave everyone wants to talk, one time a girl co-worker wanted to chit-chat, the other time it was a girl co-worker and a manager that wanted to talk about some issues at work. Most times everything is good though, how much thought should I be paying this? Should I be asking for something from her?
Also after the talk we had my wife said that she was fine removing AP off Facebook if I wanted, I just haven't made a decision on it yet, I don't want to seem petty and low by having her remove him, because in all honesty there is millions of other ways that a person can communicate unknowingly, but in the past week I did notice he followed her on TikTok (she did not follow him back), I brought this to my wife's attention and she said she didn't even notice he did, and she also said she try's not to think of that low point in her life anymore after I jokingly said man he's stalking you. Should I have any concern here? My wife actively watches TikTok in front of me its not like she's hiding her TikTok account from me or her FB.
When I say everything has felt good between us I mean it, I have asked her how she is doing and feeling about us. She tells me everything has been just about perfect. She goes out of her way to reassure me and make it so I don't overthink things or explains herself without me even needing to ask.
I have left her devices alone for almost a month or two now. I did happen to check things the other day and noticed in her photos that are hidden she has a bunch of quotes saved from Facebook in there as images some from back at the beginning of Sept, and others from recently. Some of the quotes make me ask more questions though, and why are they in your hidden photo album? I will list some of the quotes below
"my favorite kind of pain is the last straw, the last wave of hurt before i finally let go, the kind of ache that cleanses my soul. the loudest of woes, mourning past versions of me, forgiving each one of them, for not knowing any better"
"there are people you meet, who become impossible to forget. They were not sent to you by accident, but instead destined to open a doorway to a different version of your life"
"you steady me and stir me all at once"
"I never wanted perfect love, i wanted yours. whatever flood, whatever drought, whatever windstorm, whatever sunless dreary days, chosen. bloodied. broken. bruised. i wanted yours"
"one day whether your 14, 28, or 65. you will stumble upon someone who will start a fire in you that cannot die. However, the saddest most awful truth you may ever come to find, is they are not always with whom we spend our lives"
"my mistake: i trusted you and loved you truly
my problem: i continue to keep committing the same mistakes"
"I guess it isnt fair to blame you, I kept pouring myself into your palms. Even as i watched all that, I was leaking through your fingers"
I know in the past she says she likes quotes just to like them because they are pretty, but as me seeing these and them being in a hidden album, my question is just why? What's the purpose and what's their significance?
On a last note, About three weeks ago I heard her work phone ding and told her, now mind you I checked before hand and it was AP, I asked who it was and what did they need, she says oh it was just a service tech and they needed this, mind you she didn't specifically tell me it was AP, but he is a tech. I feel like this is a gray area. Also last week my wifes work phone dinged, its AP. I tell my wife hey AP texted you, she goes and looks at it said it was something for work and explains to me what it was, proceeds to ask me if I wanted to see it or not. I said no that's fine and I'm glad you were up front with me. A day later after she offered to show me the text message, I checked the work phone, AP's text messages were deleted and they were deleted from the deleted messages too.. All other messages were seemingly left from other male co-workers, etc. Where do I go with addressing this in a way that doesn't paint me looking through her stuff? What's my concern level here?
Also, weekly I am checking in with her on how she feels, is doing, feels about us. Everything she has said depicts she overjoyed with our relationship and is madly in love with me... I guess I am confused and looking for advice and guidance.