Topic is Sleeping.
soconfused0314 (original poster new member #82535) posted at 2:59 AM on Wednesday, December 28th, 2022
My partner said it is over. She can not deal with all the damage caused by her emotional affair.
I thought we could figure it out. Put myself out there but it is done. I need to go no contact now. I have a trip planned to Amsterdam staring the 1st of January but it will be hard until then! (probably hard after).
Today it is really hard not to reach out and tell her "noooooooooo!" I know it is hopeless by my heart has not caught up yet.
so so sad today
[This message edited by soconfused0314 at 3:00 AM, Wednesday, December 28th]
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 7:48 AM on Wednesday, December 28th, 2022
I am so sorry. Some WS just don’t have it in them to do the work to be a good partner- they are cowards.
It will hurt, but I promise it gets better. It’s like the length of daylight. You don’t see the improvement day by day, but after a few months it suddenly light out in the evenings again.
Take care of yourself.
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
Justsomeguy ( member #65583) posted at 2:53 PM on Wednesday, December 28th, 2022
Keep your chin up and stay NC. If a partner says they don't want to Be with you, the only response is to help them pack. Begging just confirms their resolve that they do not see you as a desirable partner. You need to heal now and maybe, if that is what you want, find someone who really values you for who you are.
I'm an oulier in my positions.
Me:55 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.
Divorced 20
JammyWheel ( member #80828) posted at 5:31 PM on Wednesday, December 28th, 2022
Write on here instead if you are tempted to contact her
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 6:16 PM on Wednesday, December 28th, 2022
I am so sad to read this. However in the long run she’s done you a favor by bailing now.
It would only be worse if you were attempting to Reconcile and six months from now she bailed. Then you would add the additional trauma that "you weren’t doing enough during Reconciliation" which would be far from the truth.
She’s a coward IMO. Afraid to face what she did, not willing to put forth the effort to help you heal and not even willing to apologize and attempt any remorse.
It’s like "hey I cheated - goodbye".
I know how painful it is. I know how much it hurts. But please believe it does get better and you will survive this. We all do.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 10 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
Topic is Sleeping.
