tjg - can you ask yourself if you are enjoying this drama at some level? Or is it rather causing you anxiety and stress?
If you want things to be different for you, you need to WANT to change. Everything can be looked at from multiple perspectives. Try to find a perspective that works for you.
You may get advice that you feel is more helpful to you if you come with not only vents (that we all have at some time or another) but also with questions regarding what you can say or change about yourself.
Change. Is. Hard. But if you are willing to put in some effort I think you will find it gratifying.
Have you tried keeping a journal or workbook? When one of these unpleasant instances happens, write down what it was, how you might have contributed to the situation, what you were trying to achieve, and how you might have gone about things differently to achieve that aim. These will give you things to think about in your path toward a new, more satisfying life.
I agree with the others that you could benefit from IC. I'm not sure why you don't take advantage of that, but think about it.
You might also consider seeing a psychiatrist for therapy rather than a psychologist, since a psychiatrist is a medical doctor they can prescribe medication to you if appropriate (whereas a psychologist cannot).
Hang in there tjg, and keep us posted on your journey. I understand you feel like you keep getting slammed, but what I see is hard-won advice coming from a place of love and caring.
Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now