Topic is Sleeping.
crazycatlady ( member #12849) posted at 6:45 PM on Thursday, July 21st, 2022
Tell her husband asap. It’s the BEST thing you can do. Trust me and all the other members. Blow up her world and crush his. Sit back and file.
Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none.William Shakespeare "All's Well That Ends Well"D-Day: Nov 30, 2006"For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright, who art as black as hell, as dark as night." William Shakespeare
TheEnd ( member #72213) posted at 10:50 PM on Thursday, July 21st, 2022
I agree on telling the OBS.
The two lovebirds want to carry on? Well, do it in the open with the consequences of that. Have a nice day!
Then, you, move forward.
I know the pain. Believe me, I f'in know. But at the end of the day you have two people willing to risk their entire lives and the entire lives of their families for.... an orgasm. Girl, you can order one up tonight if you want to. It is NOTHING special. In fact, the people who prioritize that over bonds, commitment, future ... are underdeveloped teenagers. You don't need that shizzle in your life. You're more evolved than that.
So speak your truth. Expose the cheaters for the underdeveloped, immature assholes they are and get yourself out of infidelity.
Much love and hugs to you.
BigMammaJamma ( member #65954) posted at 5:32 PM on Tuesday, July 26th, 2022
Hi Born-
Just checking in. You doing okay?
Me- born in 1984Him- born in 1979We both have 2 kids from previous marriages and we share a four year old. I might be a BS, but at this point, I don't know if I'll ever know.
Update: As of 5/8/2020, my WH confirmed I belong in this club
mblink ( member #52745) posted at 1:32 AM on Wednesday, July 27th, 2022
Put yourself in the other spouse shoes. Would you want to know?
BornYesterday (original poster new member #80421) posted at 4:21 AM on Tuesday, August 16th, 2022
Well look, I have no words appropriate enough to thank you all for your support and kindness. Apparently I’m on some self-destructive path I can’t seem to stop. I’ll admit that. While I’ve listened intently to your advice? I’ve not adhered to it and I suspect will regret that. 1) I’ve begged for counseling after he abruptly announced he wants to end the marriage, 2) my kids know (teens) about affair and told him he’s betrayed us all by not pursuing counseling 3) I’ve involved his family by telling my SIL and his brother what’s happened, 4) I’ve not told OBS….I mean, in honestly? I feel like I’ve been an Ask-hole with you all. I just 2 weeks out feel this strong urge to pursue my path and I’m ashamed, frantic, and sleepless because of it. I know I’ll come limping back to you. And I pray you’ll still be here. Should change my user name to RunawayTrain. Oh the shame….
ChamomileTea ( Moderator #53574) posted at 6:46 AM on Tuesday, August 16th, 2022
Dealing with a cheater can feel really counterintuitive at times. IME, firm boundaries work best. That doesn't mean you're required to follow the advice offered as some kind of prerequisite for staying with us. Never think that you'd be unwelcome for handling your life the way you think best. Yours are the boots on the ground and you'7 are the one who has to live with whatever decisions you make. Ours is to support you by offering our thoughts and experience.
You're still not so far off from dday. It's going to feel really messy for a long while. You're going to be okay though. Trust that you will.
((hugs))
BW: 2004(online EAs), 2014 (multiple PAs)
Married 40 years; in R with fWH for 8
nekonamida ( member #42956) posted at 1:47 PM on Tuesday, August 16th, 2022
Born, we absolutely will still be here. And we won't even say we told you so. Some of us had to do this the hard way too and go with what doesn't work first. It will be okay.
If you can, get yourself into counseling solo. It can help you break the destructive cycle and start putting yourself first.
Topic is Sleeping.
