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emergent8 (original poster member #58189) posted at 11:39 PM on Friday, February 11th, 2022
Today is the 5 year anniversary of D-day for my husband and I. 2-5 years seemed unimaginable back then, both because it was SO LONG, but also because the hurt was so bad I couldn't imagine it ever not being there. I think I was 50 % healed at a year. Maybe 75% at 2. By 3 I was 95% of the way there. At year 4 I forgot entirely. I'm not sure when I healed, but I'm healed. I wouldn't think about the A most days if I wasn't regularly posting here. It doesn't hurt me the way it used to. Now it's just a thing that happened.
I texted my husband to remind him when it occurred to me this afternoon. His response:
Ugh... f*ck. I'm so sorry honey. I love you so much. How are you feeling? Sometimes I can't believe I did that. I mean, I know I did, I am just ashamed to have caused you that much pain. Thank you so much for sticking with me. I didn't deserve that and I am so, so grateful for you and our family.
When I didn't respond right away he called to make sure I wasn't upset. I wasn't - I was busy with work. I told him he was right, he didn't deserve me back then. I'm glad I stuck around though. He does deserve me now.
Me: BS. Him: WS.
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
Happily reconciled.
Repossessed ( member #79544) posted at 12:19 AM on Saturday, February 12th, 2022
If he's as earnest as he appears to be, fancy yourself among the lucky. It's rare. Cherish it.
Here to keep myself mindful that I don't always see what actually is. I certainly didn't when I married her.
Ladybugmaam ( member #69881) posted at 12:26 AM on Saturday, February 12th, 2022
EA DD 11/2018
PA DD 2/25/19
One teen son
I am a phoenix.
Oldwounds ( member #54486) posted at 1:14 AM on Saturday, February 12th, 2022
Married 36+ years, together 41+ years
Two awesome adult sons.
Dday 6/16 4-year LTA Survived.
M Restored
"It is better to conquer our grief than to deceive it." — Seneca
Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 4:13 PM on Saturday, February 12th, 2022
I LOVE THIS...thank you so much for posting 
!! Thank you also for posting what your husband replied...KUDOS to him!!
Your post really should be in another thread too 
. What HOPE this post will bring to the new people on here...BOTH Betrayeds and Waywards...in the "Positive Reconciliation Stories" thread on this Forum!
All you have to do is copy your post and paste it into that thread 
.
A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.
With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)
I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!
From respect comes great love...sassylee
hikingout ( member #59504) posted at 6:31 AM on Tuesday, February 15th, 2022
Great update! Very happy for you!
8 years of hard work - WS and BS - Reconciled
ISurvivedSoFar ( member #56915) posted at 10:39 AM on Tuesday, February 15th, 2022
How great that you can overcome such a difficult time. So glad you and your H are great now and you are happy. Happiness is good. :-)
DDay Nov '16
Me: BS, a.k.a. MommaDom, Him: WS
2 DD's: one adult, one teen,1 DS: adult
Surviving means we promise ourselves we will get to the point where we can receive love and give love again.
Luna10 ( member #60888) posted at 10:59 AM on Tuesday, February 15th, 2022
That is a great update, I’m sure your healing came with a lot of work from both you and your WS and I’m glad to see a success story!
Dday - 27th September 2017
ThisPainIsReal ( new member #79814) posted at 10:39 PM on Wednesday, February 16th, 2022
Congrats on 5 years! It's uplifting to see that people do actually manage to crawl out of the whole situation and be happy again together. I can't see myself being in that position right now but I'm hoping very much that I heal either way, whether I stay or go. Most days I spend being suspicious of him and angry, just trying to hold it in and not crying. Looking at him just reminds me of what a loser he is. I just called him pathetic yesterday too. I trudge slowly on a daily basis. Although I can't get back to being my normal self yet, I need to for the sake of my kids. It's a very tough position to be in. Most days I just want to disappear.
So 5 years... that just seems like an eternity to me. I wish you and your H all the happiness in the world. I can't imagine how much work you've put in to be there today.
BW. DDay - 3 years after A.
Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 3:19 AM on Thursday, February 17th, 2022
Great update and thanks for sharing the progression. I’m at about 2.5 years and feel about 70% healed.
Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 33 years
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