SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Not been on here for a while guys,

Just been plodding on , or well at least trying to!

Been feeling real low the last few weeks!

Divorce is about 4 weeks away, i filed and im glad about that! so why do i feel so shitty?

I have never felt so lonely and unloved in all my life ..... it’s unbearable now

And to put the final nail in my coffin, tonight parked up at the supermarket who is in the car next to me?.... The cheating lying piece of shit i was married to!!!!.... with wait for it the old trollop he cheated on me with!!

The hardfaced creatures just stared at me like i was the bad one here! baring in mind this is the first time ive aeen them together 😢

I just feel he has everything,hes happy driving round living his new life with his replacement

whilst im here trying to keep shit together, look after the kids which he has also walked away from by the way

And i feel nobody cares if i wake up each day or not

its so lonely this whole situation and all because he was a cheating lying scumbag

Sorry to rant guys but any any advice would be so welcome x

(((Andnod))) Glad you dumped the cheater. I know it looks like he won, but cmon. He didn’t even want his kids. What a F’n loser.

What are you doing for you? Are you in IC?

You a really are the prize, and the upcoming finality to D I’d probably not helping. Neither is a pandemic. You are important, your kids love and need you, and you make this world a better place. Please get some IC to help you see your value. This world is a better place with loving kind wonderful mom people like you. ((Hugs))

Thank you so much

just feel worthless atm and yes i do feel he has won

Im just the mug who didnt know what he was doing

Now he has a great new life and im here scraping round in the tatters he left behind

Andnod, I'm sorry you're feeling so low.

I just feel he has everything, hes happy driving round living his new life with his replacement

whilst im here trying to keep shit together, look after the kids which he has also walked away from by the way

And i feel nobody cares if i wake up each day or not

its so lonely this whole situation and all because he was a cheating lying scumbag

I care.

Your kids care, they love you & need you. Without you, they'd be lost.

He's no prize & neither is she. Given enough time, they'll be miserable with each other because at the core they're both rotten, broken people. Honestly, he has nothing of any value.

You're a thousand times better than that, you can hold your head high because you have integrity & a loving heart. You matter.

Adira and Barely Breathing

Thankyou for your kind words they mean so much.... more than you will ever know

Im that low currently ive considered ending it all!!

somedays it just doesn’t seem worth carrying on alone unloved and lonely

Whilst he shouldnt be my concern its always there in the back of my mind that he has moved on and is living his best life

The 16 yrs and children i gave him seem of no significance to him anymore

im 48 and feel washed up ugly alone and that life has nothing left for me

i hate he had the power to do this , even 12 months after my finding out! 😢😢

(((Andnod))) I’m sorry you are struggling right now. I know what you mean some days I don’t know when I will be thriving but I guess it takes time. I don’t think they are living their best life especially if it’s with the same AP. That’s just more of the same broken and skankiness. He’s still the same selfish shallow person he always was. Really that is what these WS’s and AP’s are the same level trash finds same level trash. You deserve better even if it’s just you and the kids.

Im that low currently ive considered ending it all!!

PLEASE DON'T. HE'S NOT WORTH IT. Call someone you trust when you feel hopeless or call a support helpline (not sure what services you have available where you live).

The 16 yrs and children i gave him seem of no significance to him anymore

im 48 and feel washed up ugly alone and that life has nothing left for me

His loss. One day he'll realise he threw away diamonds & picked up a turd. Andnod you have immeasurable value, unique gifts & purpose, only you can give your children the gift of their mother's love. I totally get it, I've been there, in that horrible dark place but you have to dig deep & find the tiny light in yourself to keep moving forward x

Do not — Please do not — let this lowlife lying cheater of a person who has abandoned his family influence how YOU feel about yourself.

Get some professional help ASAP.

Keep posting here. We have all been through the trauma of infidelity.

Your children do care and NEED you. If you are not here they will have to live with your cheating STBXH. Do you want that???? Hell no you don’t!!!!

You will heal. You will get to a better place. It takes time snd hard work. But you will feel better about everything — you just cannot see it now.

And....stop thinking he’s living the good life. It may APPEAR that way but he has to do something to deal with his guilt. He cannot run from himself and his poor choices. He’s a loser who abandoned his family and has been a jerk to us chimdren.

Your children need you to heal. They have been abandoned too and really need your love and support.

Don’t let a lowlife’s opinion affect you. You are better than that. He only dismissed you b/c HE is not good enough. And he needs to find other losers to prop him up in his house built in sand.

The 1st Wife

thankyou.... its just so hard trying to be positive when the scumbag is parading around with the horror that is his AP

I dont know what’s worse,the fact that they are still together or the fact that i let it affect me so much

Maybe he was right maybe he is in love with this woman (who was also married when they met)

Maybe i was the joke all along huh

Trust me, that grass just looks greener. It's really just crabgrass painted green. And, as for winning, all he won is perpetual guilt that you won't ever see but resides in his head constantly. Guaranteed that the trollop really is that and eventually that crow will come home to roost with a vengence. For now, focus on yourself, your well-being, your mindfulness, your kids and your future. NONE of that is linked to him. When you get to a good place, all on your own, you'll look back and wonder what you ever fretted about, why you were depressed and enjoy your new life. DON'T LOOK BACK, LOOK FORWARD.

Andnod. Look at my profile. You'll see that there is always someone in a worse way. Mine situation went on for years, STBXW abandoned me and three kids (9, 16, 21), and walked out to go live with a married man (He's STILL married cuz he doesn't want to leave his wife). She tossed out a 25-year marriage to do that. AND I SURVIVED. DIVORCE IS NEARLY FINAL. I CAN'T WAIT. I DON'T CARE WHAT SHE DOES AND WITH WHOM. My future is bright, I have my kids with me (now 15 and 25, the 21 y.o. is on her own. IT WILL GET BETTER. GUARANTEED.

i'm in a very similar situation. If you need to chat one on one, please message me.

The people here are the wisest comforting souls. Listen to them.

Baby steps for now and get some sort of counseling. Do one nice thing for yourself daily and focus on your kids. They need you since dbag is gone.

Message me anytime. You are loved and they are lowlife pieces of crap.

Andnote, I don’t know you but this alone tells me that you are extremely strong: I filed and I am glad about that.

I couldn’t file, I can list many reasons, but I couldn’t yet. I am having a hard time even with separation as he refuses to separate. It is a horrible situation and I admire your strength.

You will be free of feeling disrespected in the most horrible way. You will be free of anxiety of betrayal. You are demanding that you deserve respect, love, you deserve to laugh and be happy. Love doesn’t need to come from a romantic relationship. But I also believe that there is no reason for us, betrayed spouses, not to meet with a special person, especially when we least expect it. But I know that we first need to recover, feel stronger, start doing things that make us happy.

We will get better and stronger. Time will heal everything.

Hugs

[This message edited by Merti at 11:19 AM, March 22nd (Monday)]

Andnod – there have been a number of surveys done over the years regarding divorce and recovery from divorce. One thing has been measured in several surveys with comparable results:

When asked 12 months AFTER divorce a vast majority state that they could have worked things out and are not certain divorce was the correct step.

When the SAME group is queried at the 18-month mark a vast majority is happy and content with their decision to divorce.

I know D isn’t finalized, but I guess you are experiencing what the survey indicates. Give it time and who knows how you will feel in 2-4 or 6 months from now.

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words and advice i genuinely appreciate it☺️

Dont know why i feel like this sometimes.... i mean its not as though i would take him back ever 🤮

Its just sometimes i get so lonely and down and him bouncing round our small town with the TROLLOP in tow just gets to me!

Making out i was the issue in our marriage.... not the fact he was playing away!!!

Hopefully one day i too can be happy again n eh xx