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Newest Member: ConstantlyConfused

New Beginnings :
Relationship green lights

Topic is Sleeping.
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 4:54 PM on Monday, February 22nd, 2021

Jana meeeeeeee tooooooo OMG LOL

And then (get THIS) apparently part of the reason why he cheated on me was "because I didn't need him" and household chores were brought up as illustration of that fact. WUT. THA. FUCKETTY. FUCK.

I can laugh about it now, but that was just... wow.

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park

posts: 3915   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: Louisiana
id 8635201
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 JanaGreen (original poster member #29341) posted at 5:00 PM on Monday, February 22nd, 2021

They really have to stretch for their "reasons" sometimes.

posts: 9505   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2010   ·   location: Southeast US
id 8635207
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DevastatedDee ( member #59873) posted at 2:58 PM on Tuesday, February 23rd, 2021

I fixed a washing machine without asking for his help. Therefore I didn't "need" him and it affected him deeply. You two aren't alone in hearing that stupidity, lol.

DDay: 06/07/2017
MH - RA on DDay.
Divorced a serial cheater (prostitutes and lord only knows who and what else).

posts: 5083   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2017
id 8635529
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 4:46 PM on Tuesday, February 23rd, 2021

I fixed a washing machine without asking for his help. Therefore I didn't "need" him and it affected him deeply. You two aren't alone in hearing that stupidity, lol.

*GASP*

The audacity of you Dee! How actually dare you!

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park

posts: 3915   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: Louisiana
id 8635586
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DevastatedDee ( member #59873) posted at 5:46 PM on Tuesday, February 23rd, 2021

I don't know about you, but if something breaks and someone other than me deals with the aggravation of fixing it, I'm all grateful and stuff like I guess some kind of deranged lunatic, LOL.

DDay: 06/07/2017
MH - RA on DDay.
Divorced a serial cheater (prostitutes and lord only knows who and what else).

posts: 5083   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2017
id 8635603
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skeetermooch ( member #72169) posted at 8:52 PM on Tuesday, February 23rd, 2021

I like the concept of a green light list but honestly my SAXH checked all the boxes with a mild exception that was so vague and confusing I'm not sure I would've ever seen it as a problem.

He was faking being healthy and normal!!

Yes, and I got the I didn't need him because I could fix things and would fix things rather then let them stay broken for eternity. He was highly unreliable doing any chores and never proactive - after we were married.

Me: BS 56 on DDay 1 - 7/2019 DIVORCED - 1/2021

posts: 1272   ·   registered: Nov. 28th, 2019
id 8635695
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DevastatedDee ( member #59873) posted at 11:22 PM on Tuesday, February 23rd, 2021

I like the concept of a green light list but honestly my SAXH checked all the boxes with a mild exception that was so vague and confusing I'm not sure I would've ever seen it as a problem.

Girl...we were with very similar men. It's really disturbing to have been with someone so good at faking decency and authenticity.

[This message edited by DevastatedDee at 5:22 PM, February 23rd (Tuesday)]

DDay: 06/07/2017
MH - RA on DDay.
Divorced a serial cheater (prostitutes and lord only knows who and what else).

posts: 5083   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2017
id 8635737
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newlife03 ( member #56527) posted at 11:24 PM on Tuesday, February 23rd, 2021

When I started dating SO in 2011 I didn't have a written list, but things in my head that I wanted to see:

good to my kids

hard-working and independent

good to friends and family

respect for others

kind

loyal in past relationships

It occurred to me one afternoon that SO had each of these qualities. Of course over the years I've learned some that need improvement that are not on this list, but with these "core" values in mind the others are workable.

Me - 50
Kids 25, 22, 18
1st DDay in 2006, 2nd in 2007
D in 2009
Happily Committed to SO since 2011

posts: 657   ·   registered: Dec. 22nd, 2016   ·   location: ID
id 8635739
Topic is Sleeping.
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