SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Those of you who are remarried or engaged, how long did you date the new person beforehand and how long did you wait to introduce kids? How long were you divorced?

I know everyone moves on and adjusts differently. I'd just like to get a general idea of everyones experience.

I have my reasons for asking and I will share why but don't want to bog the post down!

Thanks!

[This message edited by seeker16 at 2:19 PM, June 30th (Tuesday)]

I've known my GF since college (20 years). She lives out of state, but is making plans to move. We've been dating since November. She's only visited a couple of times, so the kids haven't really met her, but I've spoken of her often. It's an unusual situation, so I'm not sure I'm of any help to you in answering your question.

I hope I can help with my response. I didn't divorce. We reconciled, then he died. He asked his best friend to look after me. Friend and I were living together within 3 months of WH death, and married a year after death. Adult children only.

Best decision EVER!

My now husband and I dated for approximately 9 months before I was introduced to his three teen daughters. It was a about three months before my H was introduced to my sons who were in college at the time. Our families, however, knew each other previously - his nephew and my oldest son are best friends.

We dated long distanced and then moved in together for about six years before we got married. I was for many years in the "never getting married again" camp, but finally decided that I did indeed want to spend the rest of my life with this man.

Blending families is complicated whether you marry or not. It was difficult to fully define my role with respect to his girls even within my own home, and my H and I have different parenting styles, so that has been a challenge. My children were older, starting careers and establishing their own homes. His girls have lived with us in high school and college. His two youngest daughters and I get along very well, but the oldest daughter and I have had our battles over the years. My sense is that part of the tension is that she saw herself as a mother to the youngest two and in some ways acted in the role of a wife. Relinquishing those roles was very difficult for her.

My advice would be to wait until your relationship is on solid ground before introducing children. Clearly established what your role and responsibility will be to the children. Agree on basic parenting and rules of the house.

My partner and I had been dating for about six months when my then 19 year old daughter asked if I was dating anyone. I told her yes. She wanted to meet her. It was about month 8 when they met. Daughter was a little crushed, still harboring fantasies that her cheater Mom and I would reunite.

I wish we could have waited a bit longer, but my daughter was pushing the issue.

Not remarried but just chiming in on the waiting to introduce children from what I have seen personally.

(Not remarried due to own choice but in long-term monogamist R for almost 4 years)

When my children were younger (I divorced when they were 8 & 13), I did not introduced them at all. I kept that separate.

It wasn't until they were late-teenagers that I introduced someone I was serious about, and we were dating over six months.

I think you have to look at the situation and what they child(ren) have gone through, etc.

My ex was moving GF's in and out of his place with no regards to his children's feelings or space so I wanted my household to be their safe zone; free of dealing with additional people/partners.

I made it clear with anyone I was dating that I would not cohabitate until my children were grown. I blinked and they are grown

and I still don't have any desire to live together or remarry.