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So Little M got into the Harry Potter movies with WH while they snuggled and she was sick. All the kids joined in and got into the movies.

Today while watching Sister Act, DS yells to me from the living room as I'm cooking dinner:

"Hey mom, the old lady in the penguin suit is the lady in Harry Potter"

"Penguin suit" I'm dying....

When my son was 3(he's 16 now), he causally said "shit."

I told him it was a bad word, and he wasn't to say that again.

He,very quietly, stared into my eyes for a minute, then said, "Ok, mommy. I won't say it again. But you can't stop me from thinking it."

It was that moment that I knew he was going to be a handful.

After that, occasionally, he would call out, "I'm thinking it mommy!"

[This message edited by HellFire at 4:08 PM, January 14th (Tuesday)]

We were on a trip in the van. Anywhere from here is a minimum 35 minute drive. We were driving at least an hour.

Big D asks if we are there yet.

Wh says no not yet

BIG D replies with "you've got to be kidding me". He was like 4...

The stuff that comes out of this kids mouth shocks me at times. Hes so matter of fact about it too.

My tween has a friend whose parents are both therapists and very liberal. She's an only child, and she talks like an adult and expects to be treated like one.

The tween friend was over for dinner and we were talking about the border or Iran or some current event with our teens. (My tween was picking her nose or trying to maximize the amount of ketchup on her french fries or whatever she does when talk about that stuff).

The tween friend said something like, "Do you REALLY have that political stance? How can you denigrate the dignity of each and every human?"

My teen rolled her eyes and said "OK Boomer" to the tween friend.

It was so hard not to laugh.

[This message edited by Pippin at 5:53 PM, January 14th (Tuesday)]

Omg that's funny.

Our kids were 3 and 4 at the time. Road trip with the 4 of us. My H is a really good whistler; I’m completely incapable. We were discussing that one can either inhale or exhale to make a whistling noise. DD, the 4yo, says to DS, the 3yo, “OK, {brother}, you suck and I’ll blow.” Let’s just say my H and I could barely contain guffaws!

My daughter is 3 and loves raspberry nipple ice cream. I haven’t yet corrected her because it’s so funny, but will have to one day! 🤣

My older kids have been discharged from speech therapy. They had such funny ways of saying things though.

Godzilla was God zill za

Marsh mellows were smarsh smellows

Driving home from a weekend away, it was Easter.

Middle one (~5 at the time) says "We should have left a note for the Easter Bunny so he knows we're coming home".

Youngest (~3 at the time) "You know he can't read. He's a rabbit!"

These are great!

My most embarrassing time was with DD. Now she had been severely burnt when she was a toddler when my BIL sat her on the stove and the element had been on. She became terrified of fire, stoves anything that could burn her.

We were out and she saw a man of colour. She looked at me and asked "did he get burnt too?" She couldn't have been older than 3 at the time.

This was years ago.....

Our aupair was trying to open the padlock to the back fence, so she and the boys could play in the lake that was on the back end of our property. It's a combination padlock that caused her much frustration as she was often unable to get it open.

She was having trouble and started talking to herself.

Au Pair: "Please god, just let me open the lock."

My youngest son: "Who is god?"

My oldest son: "God is like a superhero. He lives forever! He lives in the clouds and he can do anything."

Youngest son: (full of wonder and surprise) "God is a superhero?"

Youngest son: (lightbulb moment) "God is SUPERWHY!"

OMG.... I laughed so hard after she told me the story.

When my DD was about 5, she was watching The Nanny on TV. She started yelling that I had to come see the most beautiful, gorgeous woman ever. That when she grows up she wanted to look just like this woman and why didn't I look like her. When I saw who it was, I agreed that the woman was beautiful and gorgeous, but then I had to tell DD that she probably was not going to grow up and look like RuPaul. According to DD, I took this opportunity to talk to her about the differences in people and how those differences make the world a much more interesting place.

Then when DD was about 10, she came home from school all excited about this new band that she discovered and how she was going to learn to sing all their songs, even the really hard ones. I think I asked her if they were like the Spice Girls or a boy band. She got all serious and said "mom, Meatloaf is a real band that plays real rock music" I didn't have the heart to tell her right then. Yes, I let my 10 year old listen to Bat Out of Hell by her "new" favorite band "Meatloaf" She finally figured it out on her own and her and I have been to 3 concerts together.

My oldest was VERY verbal (spoke sentences a little over a year). One day she was poking about in her room and I had the baby monitor on in mine. She was about 15 months and said "Jack, what are you doing in my room. JEEEESUS CHRIST."

Jack was our cat. I don't swear, so we know where this (with ALL the appropriate inflection) came from.

I must admit having this come over the baby monitor made it even funnnier.

Cat

Oh my goodness! How many???

We live in a very, um, non diverse area. Not by choice; it’s family land that we were given, and it’s a rural farming area that had not had much migration into the community yet. So, African Americans, brown people, Asians, he never had a lot of exposure. I have very pale skin. I’m the whitest shade of white girl and I do not tan. DS tans in 5 minutes.

All of this is to lead up to the time he came running up to me excitedly. He said, “Mama! I’ve been praying to Jesus and asking him to make me brown like Michael Jordan.” He holds his arm out to me. “Look! It’s working!!!”

His brother, now... that one kept us laughing most of the time. When he was a toddler, still in his car seat, we were driving home one evening and came to a license checkpoint. It was dark outside, and as I fumbled for my documents, the cop shone his flashlight back toward my son who had woken up and was fussing. The policeman said, in a very kind tone, “Well, hey there little Fella!” DS balled up his little fist and growled, “You want a piece of me?”

Totally done. Just cried.

When he was 5, we went to race week in Charlotte. My in laws took the boys up for the whole week and JM and I joined them later. I discovered Saturday morning that the boys had not had a shower all week. So I took them to the high shower facilities at the campground. DS1 was old enough that I was comfortable sending him by himself, but the little one stayed with me. There were about 40 shower stalls, each with a curtain, changing area with bench, another curtain and the shower. I undressed DS and sent him into the shower. Undressed myself and got under the water. Suddenly, in a voice so loud it probably knocked satellites out of orbit, my kid screamed, “MAMA!!!!! Why you got hair on your peepee?!?!?!?” Oh, my lord! I could hear women cracking up everywhere. I stayed in that shower for an hour hoping I wouldn’t have to face anybody who’d heard him.

That one also said to me one day (when I was just thinking out loud wondering what kind of birds were in the tree near us), “Mom, I’m really not in the mood to discuss ornithology right now.”

My DD who is now 20 has always been her own person, and she had quite a few unique and funny things she said.

1. Banbadaid - bandaid

2. Small Pillows- Marsh Mallows

3. Glitter Box - Litter box

4. Yesternight - Last Night

There were more, but these were my favorites.

One day I was talking to my daughter unaware that my young granddaughter was in the next room. I told my daughter I was having an issue with an on-line purchase and said "I think I got screwed."

Later that day my husband and I were taking our granddaughter to McDonald's when out of the blue she said "Pa, did you know Nana screwed herself?"

It was a miracle he didn't wreck the car!

My daughter, 1st summer job in college at a restruarant in a resort area.

I PULLED A MOM. Ive been cheating on my boyfriend most of the summer.

Could this be heredity?

Me...... NO WAY IN HELL. its always a choice.

Maybe could be learned behavior but choice rules it.

When my youngest was about five, she was looking for a particular top of hers and asked me if I know where her "Nipples Flores" shirt was.

The shirt said Naples Florida.