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I don't have a prayer and hope this is ok, but I do have a question for the posters on this thread. I was raised as a Christian in so much as I went to a Church of England school and went church through school and girl guides. I turned to religion in times of trouble and found comfort praying when I was pregnant, christening my children and marrying in a church. I am not sure whether I ever truly believed but I wasn't sure I didn't either!
Since DD I have leant towards forgiveness and redemption for my husband, and my therapist, who is from a faith based background herself, believes I'm searching for something more to life and spirituality. I think this is true to some extent but I don't even know where to start. I think it must be so comforting to have faith and I wish I could have that comfort too.
Does anyone how any advice about how to explore this? Or any books to read? Happy to receive DMs if people prefer so I'm not thread jacking. Thank you.

Hi Evio, you are very welcome to the prayer thread! What a wonderful question, thank you for asking! I hope that others answer as well.

I think the most important thing for someone who is searching is to pray. Even if you are not sure what to believe, even if it's just in a benevolent creator, put words to your thoughts in the presence of someone who will listen to you. There's the acronym ACTS to help remember types of prayer: adoration ("you are a God who cares about me even when I'm not paying attention to you!"), confession, thankfulness, supplication ("please send resources or people to me as I try to get to know you better.")

Another good thing is just what you are doing, ask people about their faith. You'll find that different people have many different things that support them in their faith and some wonderful things to share with you, but they might not be a good fit at this point in your life. I have a friend in a prayer group who loves a daily Lectio and I've tried it a few times and it's just not for me. But I keep it in the back of my mind because maybe someday, it will be! And ask people who have faith to pray with you and for you.

I assume you are in the UK (girl guides), have you tried the Alpha class?

These are some things that have helped me immensely at different points: John Eldredge and especially the book Ransomed Heart, The Bible Project podcasts, Tim Keller's sermons and especially the series on forgiveness and on using reason to evaluate the claims of Christianity, all of CS Lewis's works and especially Mere Christianity and the Problem of Pain, The Greatest Thing in the World (a sermon by Drummond, worth re-reading once a month), the daily message on the YouVersion app (I used to do that every single day and now not so much. There are seasons). Bible study groups, prayer groups, Torah study. Memorizing the Psalms when I need to quiet my mind, singing hymns to myself, practicing radical honesty and forgiveness. Finding a church that is a good fit (it took a while, I spent a two years in one church then hopped around a bit and finally settled, now I lead the weekly bible study). So many things.

Father, please bless the search of your child Evio as you begins to look for you. She wants the comfort that faith can bring her. I know that you are right there ready for anyone who turns to you. Please speak to her in exactly the way she can hear, so that she is strengthened and continues in this journey.

Acts 17 27 God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us.

I think this is true to some extent but I don't even know where to start.

It might sound too simple...but all you need to do is think about what you would say to God if He was sitting next to you . That's all prayer is. YOU may not know where to start, but God already does! Like Jesus said in Mathew 6:7-8..."7And when you pray, do not babble on like pagans, for they think that by their many words they will be heard. 8Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him."

I think it must be so comforting to have faith and I wish I could have that comfort too.

My faith has gotten me through so MUCH and it truly is a huge comfort to me. I think you are right...it would be a great comfort for you too ! My H wasn't a person of faith when we met and was NOT into Catholicism. ME...I am a "Triple C"...a Cradle Catholic Cajun !!! We be SPECIAL !!

My H was raised Baptist and started reading his Bible shortly after we decided to R in order to see how he could "fix" this sin of adultery he committed. This led to him doing a daily devotional reading . I soon joined him and we have been doing a daily Bible Study now for years . Out of all of the MANY adventures and journeys we have had together...THIS faith journey has truly been the BEST one we have been on by far !!

Does anyone how any advice about how to explore this? Or any books to read?

I can let you know what we did . We started reading "Our Daily Bread" together. You can get the booklet mailed to you for free...or download the app for free on your phone. You can read a daily devotional that has an uplifting story that coincides with a Bible verse that is written by regular people like you and me . With the app you also have other "plans" which are similar to daily devotionals, but they may go for several days on a certain subject.

We also do the daily Mass reading from the Catholic publication, "The Word Among Us". YES...my H is now doing DAILY Catholic readings...go figure ! This one we get as an app as well...but we pay a yearly subscription for it . It also has small stories of faith that are uplifting but they are more Catholic leaning. IF there are any Catholics who are reading this...I also use the "Laudate" app for my private devotional . It shows the Daily Readings, The Saint of the Day, and the Reflection on the readings that I like. It also has the Catechism of the Catholic Church in it which is helpful for my weekly Catholic Bible Study at my local church .

Another app that I use for my private devotional is the "YouVersion" app . It is also a free app that offers a lot of different "plans". Several plans are for couples and my H and I went through some of them as our daily devotionals as well . What I like about the YouVersion app is that it has several different Bible versions that you can download from the app .

One of these plans in the YouVersion app led us to Kim Kimberling who has a "One Thing" email. It is a daily email that is "one thing to grow your marriage". It isn't infidelity related...more faith based related . We had it for a few years...but then it started repeating itself so we don't use the daily email anymore.

We also get Rick Warren's "Daily Hope" email that we will sometimes read as well .

Sometimes we feel that God is leading us to focus on something in particular when we see a "pattern" or "theme" emerging from these different devotionals...that is pretty cool !

Once you find something that you like then you will probably find other resources that point you to other things you would be interested in . These worked for US because they don't take long to read and yet they give us inspiration to begin our day with a smile ! We can also look for the "theme" or "pattern" during the day that God has shown us and that is always something cool for us to talk about later! God is really GOOD at things like that !!

Thanks for reaching out !!

Pippin - thank you for your reply. My therapist also suggested praying to God/creator/universe but I had no idea where to start and feel hypocritical doing it when I don't know if I truly believe. But I will try.

I've heard of Alpha courses but not seen any local. Wedo have a lovely local church in our village I've only visited once when my son sung hymns there with the school and I guess with Christmas coming up I could attend a service to see if I like it.

Thank you also for your prayer.

Want2behappyagain thank you for your reply. I like your description of praying it definitely makes it sound less daunting!

I had never considered an app could help with spirituality/faith but I've downloaded You version to see how I get on with it.

Thank you for taking the time to help me.

Evio...you're welcome . I saw that Pippin mentioned the "YouVersion" app as well...I really like the plans on it! I typed in "where do I start" and clicked on the "plans" icon...and there were lots of plans to choose from! There was even one plan called The Betrayed Wife: 6 Days of Healing. It is a 6 day plan...I don't believe it is showing that you can HEAL in 6 days...because we all know it isn't that easy! But you may find other plans on there that may help you to start on a spiritual journey that you would like to move toward .

I also read what you wrote about feeling hypocritical about praying when you don't know if you truly believe. My sweet friend Pippin will come through with a reply to you soon...but the way I see it...God has NO issue with us asking Him questions . At least I hope not because I ask a LOT of questions !!

Faith keeps coming up in your posts. Faith is really simple...but you need ONE thing...BELIEF. This was why it was hard for Jesus to perform miracles in His hometown of Nazareth. People saw Him as the carpenter's son...they couldn't believe He was the Son of God. Hebrews 11:1 talks about faith . Can you believe in the unseen? Jesus tells us in Matthew 28:20 that, "...behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." You can maybe start there . Jesus is sitting right next to you...He said He would be with you always...even though you can't see Him...just BELIEVE that He is .

The bad part about faith is that after betrayal...it is HARD to not be cynical . How can we believe in the unseen...when what we SAW right in front of us wasn't even real ? What I found was that God was even MORE real than before...and He has NEVER betrayed my trust. I can ALWAYS count on His words to be TRUE . Matthew 7:7 says it very well..."Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you".

When you ASK...be ready for God to GIVE you the answers . But will you BELIEVE it is from God...or will you think it is just a coincidence? After a while you will KNOW...there are NO coincidences !!!

ETA: You may want to google "Godwinks" . It is stories of people who have had things happen that some people COULD say would be coincidences...but they KNOW it was something that only God could have done for them !!! I BELIEVE!!!

[This message edited by Want2BHappyAgain at 4:47 PM, Wednesday, December 3rd]

Hi Evio, there is enormous space in both the old and the new testament for uncertainty, difficulty with faith, not being sure. Doubt is a normal part of faith and uncertainty is not a sin. People who have enormous faith can be troubled and become doubtful especially during very difficult parts of their lives. I do think that it would not be a good idea to cling to doubt. In Anglicanism, reason is one of the three main pillars (or whatever you call them) of theology along with scripture and tradition. So using your reason is absolutely a good idea; pray, read, worship, and consider. And please share what you discover along the way! I have my own "Godwinks" as W2BHA mentions, I don't share them or sometimes even put them into words, because it feels like sharing a secret, and some of the power whooshes away when I share, except in some sort of rare circumstances. But you will have your own, if you allow space for it.