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Newest Member: chickenchicken

Wayward Side :
Helpful Books for WSes

Topic is Sleeping.
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BaxtersBFF ( member #26859) posted at 7:07 PM on Monday, July 8th, 2013

Bump

WH - 49
BW - gerrygirl

posts: 6125   ·   registered: Dec. 19th, 2009   ·   location: Tri-Cities
id 6400880
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SI Staff ( Moderator #10) posted at 11:52 PM on Sunday, September 15th, 2013

Bump

posts: 10034   ·   registered: May. 30th, 2002
id 6488109
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HUFI-PUFI ( member #25460) posted at 9:58 PM on Thursday, October 24th, 2013

As strange as it sounds, bumping this thread for shithead ...

Don’t listen to your head, it’s easily confused. Don’t listen to your heart, its fickle. Listen to your soul, God doesn't steer you wrong.

posts: 3316   ·   registered: Sep. 7th, 2009   ·   location: Azilda, Northern Ontario
id 6536097
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Maia ( member #8268) posted at 9:37 PM on Friday, November 8th, 2013

bump

The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.Psalms 34:18

posts: 6874   ·   registered: Sep. 20th, 2005   ·   location: I am a Bluegrass-American
id 6555156
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floridaredman ( member #15122) posted at 3:34 PM on Thursday, November 14th, 2013

bump

" floridaredman, it's good to have you here"...DeeplyScared
Sleep Peacefully

posts: 2906   ·   registered: Jun. 25th, 2007   ·   location: Florida
id 6561579
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Aubrie ( member #33886) posted at 3:36 PM on Monday, January 13th, 2014

Bump for newbies

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

posts: 7926   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2011
id 6637452
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DanteJace ( new member #42017) posted at 3:49 PM on Monday, January 13th, 2014

Thank you.

.

posts: 49   ·   registered: Jan. 11th, 2014   ·   location: northeast US
id 6637476
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HUFI-PUFI ( member #25460) posted at 2:37 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014

Bump for the newbies ...

Even if you are seeing IC or MC, or perhaps more importantly, if you don't have that option, reading these books can give you tools to determine the why of the affair and also show you a path to self-healing. For all of us as human beings, self-understanding comes from self-examination and in that journey, these books can be invaluable.

Good Reading!

Don’t listen to your head, it’s easily confused. Don’t listen to your heart, its fickle. Listen to your soul, God doesn't steer you wrong.

posts: 3316   ·   registered: Sep. 7th, 2009   ·   location: Azilda, Northern Ontario
id 6673514
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Wayflost ( member #41583) posted at 9:24 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2014

I just finished reading:

Shame & Guilt: Masters of Disguise by Jane Middelton=Moz

It's realistically a short read, unless you connect with it emotionally. It was painful because I see myself in the pages. But it was totally worth reading.

"Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly."

posts: 762   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2013
id 6674120
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Aubrie ( member #33886) posted at 8:22 PM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014

Bump.

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

posts: 7926   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2011
id 6772063
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brokeback ( member #41726) posted at 8:26 PM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014

Thank you for the bump.

ME 43
BS 38
1 Child 3 years old
Married 18 years
DDay - 10/2013. EA 9 months. PA 4 months. Ended the affair 11/2014




posts: 69   ·   registered: Dec. 19th, 2013
id 6772069
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Aubrie ( member #33886) posted at 7:32 PM on Friday, May 30th, 2014

Bump

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

posts: 7926   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2011
id 6818185
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BaxtersBFF ( member #26859) posted at 9:27 PM on Thursday, July 24th, 2014

bump

WH - 49
BW - gerrygirl

posts: 6125   ·   registered: Dec. 19th, 2009   ·   location: Tri-Cities
id 6884422
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HUFI-PUFI ( member #25460) posted at 1:39 PM on Thursday, August 28th, 2014

Bumped because not all of these books are mentioned in the Healing Library ... all of these books are helpful to the WS community ... obviously, some might not apply to your situation but then again, without opening up and reviewing the material, you might never know.

Don’t listen to your head, it’s easily confused. Don’t listen to your heart, its fickle. Listen to your soul, God doesn't steer you wrong.

posts: 3316   ·   registered: Sep. 7th, 2009   ·   location: Azilda, Northern Ontario
id 6926565
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Aubrie ( member #33886) posted at 11:39 PM on Tuesday, September 9th, 2014

Bump

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

posts: 7926   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2011
id 6940516
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lovemywife4ever ( member #42834) posted at 12:38 AM on Wednesday, September 10th, 2014

Thank you! I have read How to help your spouse heal and codependent no more as well as online web reading. I am reading After the Affair but looking for more.

Me-WS
Her-BS (deena04)
Upper 30s and kids at home (hers/mine/ours)
Cheater-me 2.5 years into relationship, 2 months before engagement, 1.5 year before M...this is not an excuse but a timeline of our life
Now: real love and maturing
REMARRIED AN

posts: 461   ·   registered: Mar. 19th, 2014
id 6940572
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corner ( new member #43433) posted at 9:41 PM on Thursday, September 11th, 2014

Thank you so much! This is amazing.

posts: 23   ·   registered: May. 14th, 2014
id 6942854
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corner ( new member #43433) posted at 12:05 AM on Friday, September 12th, 2014

Bump

posts: 23   ·   registered: May. 14th, 2014
id 6943000
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beyondbelief13 ( member #41080) posted at 12:57 AM on Tuesday, October 14th, 2014

WS Only

[This message edited by SI Staff at 8:01 PM, October 13th (Monday)]

BS: 60 WS: 55
DS: 19 DD: 11
M:25 years
Polygraph 4/27/13 revealed A #1 (ons)only 7 weeks after wedding and A #2 7 month love of his life A
*TT for 18 MONTHS... Damned It!!!
Reconciling? Divorcing? I guess only time will tell?

posts: 56   ·   registered: Oct. 22nd, 2013   ·   location: California
id 6976795
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Neznayou ( member #40654) posted at 2:25 PM on Wednesday, October 15th, 2014

NOT Just Friends... I haven't finished it yet, but so far it seems like a day late and a dollar short. It should be required reading for newlyweds. I have trouble reading it because it points out (so far) all the things that I should have done, didn't do, and made our recovery/ reconciliation that much more painful.

I have found Brene Brown's work on Shame and Vulnerability to be very insightful, even though it is not specifically directed towards infidelity. Check her out on TedTalks. I'm reading Daring Greatly right now. It's a good thing it's a library book I think I would have underlined every other paragraph by now!

I've also picked up Talking to Depression by Claudia Strauss. Both my BH and I are/ have suffered from Depression. It is designed for those living with someone who has Depression and offers practical, everyday tips. One of the first reviews I read on Amazon.com was written by someone who both has Depression and recognized the benefit of the advice her family took from the book.

If you are a light reader or need something for the "throne room", I like Marc and Angel Hack Life. They have a blog, they're on Facebook, and they've published several books which are all written in list/ blog/ article style. I can't say that I agree with all their tidbits of advice, but they have some pretty good lists.

And, for my future reading list, a counselor suggested reading works about personal evolution and recommended The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck. I haven't even looked at a preview of it, so I can't really say anything more about it.

Does anyone have any recommendations for overcoming one's own Passive-Aggressive behaviours or any books about a Passive-Aggressive woman? Most of what I've looked at so far are focused on the men because, apparently, women aren't passive-aggressive. Not that those couldn't be valuable resources anyway, but I'm throwing the question out there. Thanks.

Him: BH 1969
Me: WW 1973

Wedding: April 9, 1994

Son: 1998 (college freshman)
Son: 2002 (high school freshman)

Caught at AP's house: 10 Aug 2012

I do not have it all together.

posts: 862   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2013   ·   location: Far, far away
id 6978362
Topic is Sleeping.
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